Bridges of Madison County....what would you do?

[southlandshari]

Just watched this movie again for the first time in quite a while. I'm curious....what would you do, and why, if you were in the place of Meryl Streep's character, or Clint Eastwood's?




















:hi: everyone!

[ForrestGump]

1. I 'm tired, so maybe I'm wrong,but I think maybe I've been both characters

If I was Clint, I'd have done exactly what he did. Stand in the rain, waiting for her decision.

If I was Meryl, knowing what I now know and having gone through what I have gone through, I'd have gone with him. I'd say that I haven't had children, so perhaps I can't assume it's that straightforward, but (a) her children were almost adults and (b) staying together for the children is usually ultimately Not A Good Idea. A key difference is that she was married to a thoroughly decent man, whereas my wife was not that way -- if she had been...well, then it becomes tougher, and I can't relate to the situation as well. But, bottom line, she wasn't living all she could live...where is that line where the need to fulfill yourself gives way to sheer self-centeredness? Where do you walk on a good person because you are not Being All You Can Be and know that you're unlikely to ever be while you're with him or her?

They were star-crossed, and I'm not sure there's ever an easy answer to that. She met her soul mate twenty years late...or was it at just the right time? I'm interested to see some of these answers, too.

[southlandshari]

3. ForrestGump!

Where the heck have you been?

Good to see you this morning, darlin!

:D

[ForrestGump]

9. I've been photographing

gorillas in Africa, and bridges in Iowa. :P



Hi, Ms shari! :hi:

[southlandshari]

15. What about

volleyballs on deserted islands?

:D


Good to see you, Gump. Hope everything is going your way these days!

[ForrestGump]

17. My friend says hi!

[southlandshari]

20. WILSON!

:D

I'd even leave Clint Eastwood for Wilson. That guy is ALWAYS happy!


:loveya:

[bridgit]

2. i dunno, hon, my sense is that that kind of 'spark' would be...

hard to cover up for decades; but it reminds me of a Holly Cole song nonetheless:

Desert road from Vegas to nowhere
Somewhere better than where you've been
A coffee machine that needs some fixing
In a little cafe' just around the bend
I am calling you, I know you hear me
I am calling you
A hot dry wind blowing right through me
Oh, the baby's crying and I can't sleep
But we both know that a change is coming
Oh, coming closer, such sweet release
And I am calling you, can you hear me
I am calling you
Oooh, yeah

Desert road from Vegas to nowhere
Somewhere better than where you've been
But we both know that a change is coming
Coming closer around the bend
And I am calling you, don't you hear me
I am calling you
I, honey, I'm calling, I'm calling, I'm calling you
I know you hear me
I am calling you
Mmm, hmm

[southlandshari]

5. .....

Thanks for posting those lyrics, bridgit. They actually were a better answer than a straight "I would have..." answer for me tonight!

I like your new (is it new?) avatar!

:D

[NMDemDist2]

23. that's the theme song for one of my favorite movies "Baghdad Cafe"

you gotta love a movie where Jack Palance is the best looking character in the movie. Whoppi tried it as a series that STANK but the movie is a treasure!

[bridgit]

24. i think that's right...

:hi:

[progmom]

27. oh c'mon...CCH Pounder is beautiful!

:shrug:

[NMDemDist2]

28. true, but they certainly didn't play it up in that particular movie

:rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

4. He never would have made it into the house.

Let a complete stranger into your home? Not smart.

And WTF is he doing, trying to woo a married woman? Who does he think he is - Monica Lewinski?

That's what I'd do.
Or maybe it's the latest dose of Vicodin kicking in. :hi:

[southlandshari]

6. LOL

:rofl:

most definitive answer yet!

:D

[RevCheesehead]

8. Glad to be of service.

How are ya, sugarpie? :hug:

[southlandshari]

10. I am good, lonesome and free....

And very much at peace.

:)


I do miss my friends here - with you at the top of that list!

How are YOU?!!

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

11. I'll survive.

Busy week - meetings, funeral, Ash Wednesday. I don't know if you saw my thread, but I'm suffering with my first-ever outbreak of shingles. x(

[southlandshari]

13. Oh noooooo!

I haven't seen it - haven't been on DU for a bit. I'm so sorry!

Thoughts and prayers. You are in mine.

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

14. Thanks, dear.

So are you. :hug:

I know it must be tough - but you're a survivor, and you WILL come out of this, better, stronger, and faster than before. Yes, you guessed it - it's the 6 Million Dollar Moon-Pie Madam!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

32. Good answer Rev!!

Seriously, why do you even invite temptation when you're married? Especially to a decent man.

[northzax]

35. and here's Rev, pouring cold water on us again!

But then what did you expect? wouldn't be much of a reverend going around promoting cheating on your husband would ya? :)

thank goodness we have some sort of a conscience around here!

[radwriter0555]

7. I think the characters were honorable and decent, doing what they needed

to do, in spite of the love they found for each other.

He was kind to respect her wishes.

She was honorable in setting aside herself, and putting her faith and integrity into her family and husband, the man she'd committed to.

It is entirely possible to love more than once in your life. It happens more often than the paired up for a lifetime kind of love in fact. If it didn't, we wouldn't be capable of "dating", we'd be more like other critters who decide with whom to mate based on prettiest feathers or best aggressive display.

As humans, we don't always decide who we're supposed to love, sometimes it just happens. This couple acted honorably. Ultimately they both knew they did the right thing, and it was best that the husband never knew and that the children learned later enough to use the lesson for good instead of for criticism.

[southlandshari]

12. This is an excellent answer, IMHO

I guess one question that nagged me tonight was this, though...the daughter apparently had stayed in a bad marraige because that's what she thought was right, just as her mother did.

Her mother (Streep) didn't have a "bad" marriage - just one that was passionless. Is that reason enough to leave someone?


On edit: I don't think that alone is enough - but look at how it translated to the daughter. Complicated stuff, these relationships.

[merh]

42. The patterns of the parents are repeated by the children.

I've seen that far too often, I have friends that have no idea that they are entitled to know love because their parents didn't love each other. Their parents stayed in the marriage for the sake of the kids, now as adults, those kids have had failed relationships and haven't a clue as to how to love or be loved.

My problem with both the book and movie is I really don't know the relationship she had with her husband before Clint. Why did the passion die? Did he make her feel responsible for his happiness and drain her spirit, make her neglect herself?

Was she unhappy before Clint and had she tried everything she knew to do to resurrect the passion and save the marriage?

Too many unanswered questions for me, but if I had been Meryl, I would have gone with Clint. I believe our purpose in life is to love and to know love. What they had was more than just "passion" it was a deep, soulful connection that can't always be found and when it is found, it is a gift and should be appreciated and cherished.

Maybe my post in this thread better explains my view of love.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4519899

Hell, I'd have gone with Clint and I've never been a big fan of his. Guess I am such a hopeful romantic.

So that is my ramble!

It's good to see you southlandshari.

:loveya: more :hug:

[Wetzelbill]

16. read the book, own the film.......

Not much you can do I suppose. If you have that much of an attraction to somebody and it happens, well it happens. However in the end, if she can't leave her family and you can't give up your career etc, well then I guess it wouldn't work out. I think sharing that brief bit of love is something that maybe they were best just keeping near their hearts for the rest of their lives. Tough call though. I think if I was Eastwood, I might not ever be able to let it go. I may be so ravaged by love that I would fight to have her for everything that I was worth. The idea that I couldn't hold her again would eat me alive. Maybe I couldn't stay away if I was him. That's not an easy question to answer.

[southlandshari]

18. "That's not an easy question to answer"

Truer words were never spoken. Which is why I really liked your thoughtful reply!

I've missed you!!

:loveya:

[Wetzelbill]

19. well, hell yeah

I missed you too. :)

[Bzzzz]

21. That is one of my favorite books and movie...

Have you read A Thousand Country Roads? It tells what happens when Kincaid heads back(the expedition he calls Last Time) to Roseman Bridge in Madison county.

[southlandshari]

22. Thank you!!

Thanks for sharing that - I didn't know there was a second part to the story!

:)

[SammyWinstonJack]

39. I love the movie and the book, too. I had no idea there was an epilogue.

Thanks.

[AngryAmish]

25. Isn't adultery fun!?!

A vow is a vow. The person you hurt the most when you break that vow is yourself. How would you feel if your mother literally ran off with a stranger?

What should that woman do? Stay at home, keep your mouth shut and threaten any person who might rat you out.

[RevCheesehead]

34. Two selfish people, caring only about themselves.

I'm reminded of the movie "In and Out". In a moment of truth-telling, one old lady looks up and says "OK, I'll admit it.... I hated The Bridges of Madison County."

[northzax]

36. if it was Clint Eastwood?

I dunno- Good for Mom!

[miss_american_pie]

26. Never saw the movie

so I don't know how much it varies from the book.

My feeling is when you have kids you commit to putting their best interest ahead of your own, until they reach adulthood.

[Callalily]

29. Never saw the movie . . .

Just stopped by here to say howdy. Haven't seen you in a while. How've ya been?

[GalleryGod]

31. Do yourselves a favor, please...RENT this flick. Excellent.

[WCGreen]

30. You have to take advantage of true love whenever it comes by...

Endearing love is what, by definition, last....

True love can be sustained with memories.....

[MissMillie]

33. I wouldn't be able to leave my kid

Especially if I had a husband who adored me and a nice life.

Yeah, I think she found passion w/ Eastwood, but passion is so often short-lived.

[northzax]

37. burn down all the annoying wooden bridges

so that large SUVs can get over the rivers. that's what I'd do.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

38. My dear southlandshari.......

I cannot adequately express how much I have missed you.....

I hope you will be around more in the days ahead....

I would have gone with him......but it is a tough call.

But I do feel that the love that these two feel for each other is more important than anything else.

A lot of these issues have been discussed in my thread on love .....

Mine talks about having loved and lost.

I'll be PM'ing you in a moment...


:loveya: :hug:

[Mizmoon]

40. Passionate love is fleeting

Anyone I know who has dumped everything for passionate love has been sorry later.

If you want to have passionate love your whole life, never get married. Married love is different - less passionate over time but far more deep.

[ProfessorGAC]

41. Infidelity Is Not An Option

I have no empathy for either character.
The Professor

[mikeytherat]

45. Yes!

She waited until kids and hubby were away, and then boinked The Fuller Brush Man. OK, so he was a photog for NG, but same 'ol situation. And Clint nails someone married with kids.

Classy. REAL classy.

What these characters felt was not love, but lust, and they acted on it. Selfishly.

I think the two of them should have driven off one of those bridges; that's the ending I'd like to see.

mikey_the_rat

[ProfessorGAC]

46. Good Ending!

I'm ok with that too, Mikey! LOL!
The Professor

[NMDemDist2]

43. I've been there

and I stayed... and I"m glad I did so

[Shell Beau]

44. Never have seen it, but

:hi: :bounce:

[hfojvt]

47. I read the book and despised it

I cannot imagine what I would do, either as a married woman (?) or as a seductive freelance photographer. The book paints him as some kind of demi-god (so studly, so sophisticated), so it seems he should be able to get other women. So why mess around with a married one. The book never explains what he sees in her, perhaps she is one of the few women who sees him as a demi-god? I did not see anything like "true love" in the book. It just seems like they got drunk and had sex, and he was "so cool" because he did not live a boring, rural/small town life. He was a cowboy/adventurer who got to see the world, unlike hubby who had to work hard locally and could not afford travel or education.

[raccoon]

49. Thank you. I thought so too. If they'd run off together,

the intense passion wouldn't have lasted.

[texas1928]

48. Hey girl where have you been?

Not talking to me. :spank: