Subject: UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

[madokie]

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.



As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in


plan that would become known as "Euro-English".





In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.



There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

[aquart]

1. No, it did not make me smile.

DU is a junkyard of email unfunnies lately.

[Skittles]

3. a junkyard of rudeness lately too

:o

[Trevelyan]

2. Lighten up. Need to smile a little sometimes.

Lorca Garcia wrote, "Make sure the wedding go on within the war."

[aquart]

4. then put it in the lounge or label it satire.

but fake news announcements suck. and no I won't lighten up about it. it's getting so that i second guess opening any thread because i can't be sure how big a waste of time it will be.

the toons are labeled. people open that thread because it's funny and it's what we want and expect to see there. but this poster basically lied.

There was even one of these pieces of trash in LBN today.

Enough is enough.

[madokie]

6. I know your time is so precious, personally I appreciate when someone

post something that might put a smile on my face. Even trick me into reading it, so what. Oh and I ain't lying now.

[aquart]

7. Uh huh.

I thought we were all here at DU because we don't like being tricked. My error.

[madokie]

8. Actually I'm here to get the news, so I can stay abreast of whats happenin

in the world and to be entertained. Have a heart

[Tahkcalb]

5. I have submitted all the forms to Brussels...

...and can be sure (pending formal agreement of any outstanding treaties) that a complement will be issued for your acceptance.

[BiggJawn]

9. This was originally a Chrysler memo.

Issued right after they got bought by Daimler, explaining how Management was going to interact with the Hourlys.

Being of German descent, I didn't find it all that funny. We're not genetically disposed towards World domination, y'know...

And if you think I need to "lighten up", how's about I tell the same joke, only with a Gullah or Yiddish punchline? Eh?

[patdem]

10. I thought it was quite funny...got me chuckling...but them I am

not subject to thinking in terms of good and evil, but take things at face value till I find out differently. No I am not fooled easily, but that works BOTH ways!