The mechanic told me I blew a seal.

[Dave Reynolds]

I told him "leave my personal life out of this and fix the damn car!"

I love that one....

[ZombieNixon]

1. How did I know this was coming?

:rofl:

[Dave Reynolds]

2. I wish I had the whole routine,

it was a standup comic who recorded it, called "Wet Dream" or something like that...

[Elidor]

3. A penguin is driving across the desert when his car breaks down

He gets towed to a small-town garage. While the mechanic is fixing the car, he goes into the store next to the station and has an ice cream cone. The desert heats melts the ice cream into a gooey mess, which he gets all over his face. Arriving back at the garage, the mechanic tells him, "Looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin blushes. "Oh, no," he says. "It's just ice cream."

[Robeson]

4. "A fast word about oral contraception....

...I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." - Woody Allen

[Bucky]

5. Dave Reynolds is the LAST person I'd expect to make a joke like this

sigh

[Dave Reynolds]

6. Yes, normally I am the very epitome

of class, grace, and good manners.

Holy cow, I kept a straight face typing that, too....