Your Mileage My Vary... (And Other Annoying Disclaimers)

[arwalden]

other favorites:

"Do not try this at home." (well Duh!)
"Results not typical." (okay, so why advertise them?)
"Allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery." (two months? are you kidding?)

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. I like

not available in all areas (meaning mine)

[displacedtexan]

2. Side effects may include...

the lists of drug side effects (recited with bullet-speed precision) make me cringe.

[arwalden]

3. Nausea, vomiting, anal leakage, bleeding, hair loss?

With side-effects like THAT, I'd rather just have the original ailment. No thanks. I'll just wait until my cold goes away on its own.

-- Allen

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. and don't forget...offspring with goatheads...I saw that on Saturday Night

Live a few years ago, and we just cracked up. :)

[Bunny]

14. Oily discharge!!

What the hell is that?????

[unblock]

4. available only at participating stores, only while supplies last

so, ... i can get it only where i can get it, right?

well, ok then.

[LynneSin]

5. Under Penalty of Law this Tag is not to be removed

[underpants]

6. (not a disclaimer but...) As seen on TV

I guess the fact that it was seen on the magical box is still impressive to some people.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. I swear to God this was on a bottle of glue once...

"If product gets in eye, do not remove with superglue remover or nail polish remover."

What the fuck? Did somebody actually sit there and go, "ARGHHHH!!! I glued my eye shut. I know! I'll get the super glue remover. IT BURNS! IT BURNS! Quick, we better try the nail polish remover!"

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. Coffee is HOT!

Really? I know it's all to avoid a lawsuit, but it's just crazy.

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

10. Certain Sexual Side-Effects

I don't care if it's life-saving medication -- you're going to have to be a little more specific on that one!

Is my dick going to fall off? What?

[mark0rama]

11. "Serving suggestion"

Oh, really, you mean that TV dinner doesn't come out of the box looking like real food?

[absolutezero]

12. on the box my cellphone came in...

do not use underwater...

morons :eyes:

[Tyler Durden]

13. How about "DO NOT EAT" on the dessicant packs?

You've all seen those little packs of silica in the packing of some electronic dingus or another.

I don't know about YOU, but when I see one of those things, the first thought in MY head certainly is not "MMM-MMM! Snack Time!"

[Flightful]

15. In the military

On the bread pouch in the Canadian Forces IMP it says, "Do not eat dessicant packet." I think they had to include that warning, otherwise we wouldn't be able to tell it from the bread.

[camero]

16. Not valid with any other offers

Why not?

[CO Liberal]

17. "For Indoor or Outdoor Use ONLY"

On a string of Christmas lights that were made in China.