I'm thinking I may need to leave DU for a while.

[ZombieNixon]

I've been here for nearly a year and a half now, and during that time, especially recently, I've felt more appreciated and liked than ever before. This place, especially the Lounge, is someplace I can go if I need help or want to talk about something, or even just to hang out. I know this sounds kind of sappy (and un-me-like), but you guys are rather like a family to me (even though I haven't met any of you) and I really feel more comfortable and well-adjusted here in the Lounge than I do in real life.

And therein, I think, lies the problem. I can't help wondering if I'm getting addicted, because I'm having more and more trouble committing to the daily grind of things that I have to do because I'm busy posting random shit here on DU. Hell, two days ago, I even considered letting my bank account lapse because I was in the middle of a Lounge conversation :scared:. And nothing seems much fun anymore to me.

I'm wondering if I should stop posting for a while. It might be a week, a month, a year, or I might not come back. I'm not sure. Have any of you dealt with something like this (DU addiction?), and how?

What do you guys think? :shrug:

[jpgray]

1. Take a break

I have midterms coming up, so I'll be off quite a bit myself.

[ZombieNixon]

12. I'll be posting less frequently anyway for the next two weeks

because of projects, and then take my sprint break off because of connection problems at my parentss' house. Just not sure what to do after then. :shrug:

[Call Me Wesley]

2. Take your time.

To break down a certain habit for a while is always helpful; and I think you know the answer for yourself reading your description.

We'll keep your seat warm, and I'll hope to see you again around sometimes. Take good care, ZombieNixon. :pals:

[MiniMandaRuth]

3. Don't leave!

You're my bestest friend!

[ZombieNixon]

14. Really?

:shrug:

[MiniMandaRuth]

19. I wuv you,

but do what ever you feel like... Just remember, if you leave, come back!

[khashka]

4. Take a few days off

I often get so involved here it borders on scary. Take a few days off regularly. It works.

But please don't just go away. I know what you mean about DU feeling like a family - that's because we've tried to build a community. Like it or not, you are part of that family, that community. So take a few days off.... but come back, because you are part of our family and we will be diminished without you.

Khash.

[billyskank]

5. Take a break

but if you're anything like me, you'll be back in four days. :)

[ZombieNixon]

13. Hmm...If I'm anything like me (and I know I am),

I'll be back in four *hours* ;)

[Cannikin]

6. I take breaks, and its always nice to come back

[LostinVA]

23. Sometimes I do for a few days or so

I will look at LBN, but I don't sign in, and only read NEWS.

[realisticphish]

7. I stopped posting over the summer

and it made coming back that much better

[ZombieNixon]

9. I did kind of the same thing over my winter break,

but that was more a break from the Internet as a whole, because I had to work with a horribly slow dial-up connection at my parents' house that I couldn't handle. It was kind of scary. :scared: I'll probably do the same thing in two weeks anyway for spring break, but I'm talking more long term here. :shrug:

[realisticphish]

10. Well, realistically

do you want to leave? I doubt it. Maybe what you should do is limit yourself to a number of posts per day. Say, 10. That should cut your time on DU down to about 30 seconds, at the rate you post at ;)

[ZombieNixon]

17. I don't *want* to leave, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I *have* to

just for the sake of real life. :shrug:

I don't like hopping in and out for thirty seconds every day; that just seems like I'm leaving people hanging. If I do go, it'll be cold turkey and then maybe I'll come back later. :)

[tjwmason]

8. Take a break.

This place is adictive - and breaks now and then are good, indeed essential, to keeping onesself balanced.

We'll miss you, and will be happy to see you back again - but it will do you good to get away for a while.

[titoresque]

11. I had to take a break.

Havent been back very long this time, and I'm thinking about taking another break :)
I also took a break from all the protesting I was doing, and moderating some other online activist groups. That was really hard for me to do. I felt like a failure for a long time and I felt like I was letting so many people down. But continuing on a self destructive path......(and for me, I know when I begin to question my actions, I've already become destructive) is worse for me, than any feelings I have of failure and what not.

I'm reading...and re-reading Wayne Dyers book right now called "The power of intention" It's helping me so much! I highly reccomend it!
Take a break! What seems to work best in my life is to do a lot of different things, and not too much of only one thing. I'm a "friend of Bill" so I can find myself addicted to just about anything.

Take care! :hug:

[terrya]

15. Take a break

Yes, DU can get addictive. It does help to take a short break once in a while. I've done it...just a week. It put perspective on things.

Don't necessarily leave. But a short break can be helpful. :-)

[TheBaldyMan]

16. it wouldn't hurt to take a break

I know what you mean about the addictive side, I sometimes end up saying to myself, "Must stay out of lounge... must stay out of lounge...". Mainly because you can waste an hour in here without thinking about it.

Originally I was tuned into DU because of the politics but we all need a bit of fun now and again. In fact, my post count wouldn't be nearly as high if I didn't post in here.

I'd advise going out into the 'big room' more often.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. My dear ZombieNixon........

By all means, take a break, as long as you need!

But please don't go away forever.....that would hurt many of us a lot!

Including me!

Breaks are good things...IMHO...


:loveya: :hug:
























If you do leave, can I have your office chair? *ducks* J/K!

[ZombieNixon]

20. No. The chair has other uses besides DU surfage.

:P

I don't want to go away forever...I figure I'll use my spring break to reassess things; I'll pretty much be offline then anyway...so we'll see how things go. :hug:

[Shine]

21. If you think you need a break, then you probably do.

if DU is getting in the way of your "real life", then perhaps it's worthwhile to take some space, get some perspective...

I say: Trust your instincts.

Good luck, buddy! There's always a space on the couch for YOU.

:hug: :pals:

:hi:

[northzax]

22. dude, you can't leave

Dear Leader Skinner won't let you. you obviously didn't read the fine print in your membership agreement. This is not some third rate cult where you can leave any time you want, we are at least second rate, and the deprogramming process can be vicious.

ok,ok, if you really want to, assume the position,

[ZombieNixon]

44. Thank you, sir. May I have another?

:P

[Oeditpus Rex]

24. Okay, fine — go

But if we see you taking any popcorn, we shoot to kill.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

46. LOL Rex!

:spray:

[ZombieNixon]

49. Damn!

x(

*puts down popcorn* :popcorn:

[Deja Q]

25. We love you, man!

Don't go.

Or regulate your time.

I know how you feel, though. :)

[ZombieNixon]

28. I'm on the fence right now.

Thinking about leaving made me weep (:cry:)...not sure what that means, though maybe I'm a bit too dedicated to this forum. :shrug:

[XemaSab]

26. What is this "real life" you speak of?

:shrug:

[ZombieNixon]

27. As of now...

"real life" is pronounced "the DU Lounge," which is why it's a problem. :(

[purr]

29. Dont go completley...

:( I can see taking a day off or two but dont leave us all together. It just wouldnt be the same without you.

[ZombieNixon]

30. Well, I know I have to take some time off...

at least a day or two by necessity of work, but probably more. I'm not sure how much. :shrug:

[purr]

31. Keep in touch w/ me please :)

[ZombieNixon]

34. I will. Don't worry.

PM me if you want an e-mail address.

[mvd]

32. If you feel like you need a break, take one

I do it, often without announcing because I know I might get the urge to return. :hi:

I would like to focus more on my career.

[ContraBass Black]

33. "I even considered letting my bank account lapse"

That's a problem.

Take some time off.

[ZombieNixon]

35. Yeah, that's what first tipped me off.

:scared:

[crispini]

36. It IS possible to both have "a life" and do DU.

But I probably only get an hour or so of DU time a day. :shrug:

Take a break, see if you can moderate your habit.

[LiberalHeart]

37. I know exactly what you mean, ZombieNixon.

I often spent hours on the net even when there was no pleasure in the experience. It was like an obsession -- or the addiction you mention. I let my house go, and kept at it to the point where I finally talked to my doctor about it. She told me she thought what I was describing was depression, even though I didn't feel sad. I would often feel upset with myself for not accomplishing anything for days (hell, months) at a time because I was too busy with discussion groups and surfing. If "busy" is the right word, I mean. I would even keep on using the keyboard even when it was painful due to arthritis or bursitis. I knew I had crossed some kind of line when that happened.

My doc persuaded me to use a variety of antidepressants until I finally found the right one for me. It took about a month, but eventually I feel so different, I actually went out and got a job -- which gets me out of the house for a big chunk of the day. I hadn't worked since the late '80s, so it was quite a change. And it's one that has been very good for me. Prior to taking the antidepressant, nothing could have dragged me out of my house.

My doctor told me there are meds that are given to complusive gamblers to help them break their compulsion. That's the family from which she prescribed as we searched for right one for me. I'm a very low dose of the med I take -- the smallest amount they make, but it has made a world of difference in my life. I had no idea I was depressed, but my doctor told me the kind of depression associated with net addiction does not present itself in the same way that typical depression does. That's why it's hard to spot. I am not naming my med because there's none that's a sure cure for everyone; it's often a matter of trail and error till you chance up the right one. It takes time, but so does compulsive surfing -- and one can lead to help; the other can't.

I know what you mean about quick visits to the net -- and how it's difficult to practice portion control. My job certainly helps in a big way with that part of the problem. I think the trouble keeping surfing to small segments of time is a lot like an alcoholic faces when think s/he can drink just one. Can't be done.

The similarity between net addiction and compulsive gambling makes a lot of sense to me. Take those scratch off lottery tickets, for example. When one is scratching off the silvery stuff that covers up the info you need to see to know if you're a winner, there's a moment when all things are possible -- when there is a leap of hope. Clicking on links on a website can provide exactly that sense of hope and belief that all things are possible. Who knows what might lie at the other side of that link, ya know? We click thru for the reward that comes from having done so. Sometimes we win, sometimes it just a disappointment. But we keep on trying.

I wish you well, my friend.

[ZombieNixon]

38. Thank you, LiberalHeart.

I wouldn't say that what you describe is exactly my problem, because I think it's that I get more pleasure from being online, especially on DU, than I get from real life. I'm going to take a 20-day break starting on Wednesday, and see if I can find that sense of pleasure from the real world again. If I can, I'll be back with a moderated posting habit, or else I won't be back until I can find that enjoyment.

Thank you for your support. :hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

47. Good post, LiberalHeart.

:thumbsup:

;)

[Whoa_Nelly]

39. Considering you asked what we (Lounge Lizards) think

It's apparent that Du is important to you in ways that maybe you don't fully understand about yourself.

That being said...

Do what feels comfortable for you, ZombieNixon :hug:

I know what you mean re: especially the Lounge being a place where you connect with people. For me, the Lounge is a place that gives me a certain measure of comfort in knowing that there are people who, while they don't know me in real life, they offer me a friendship and camaraderie that I feel is many times lacking in my day-to-day existence.

Be here now...Be here when you need to be :pals:

[ZombieNixon]

40. I've made a decision.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4839537

We'll se what happens. :shrug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

41. Happy Birthday Decision!

xoxoxox

Nelly

[bigwillq]

42. I think you're making a good choice!

We will miss you but Zombie, you need to take care of your personal shit before posting on DU. You need to take care of personal shit before most anything else you do.
Have a nice break! We'll be here when you get back! :hi: :hug:

[ZombieNixon]

43. Thanks. I really hope it's the right thing to do.

I'm gonna miss you guys. :(

[WritingIsMyReligion]

48. Much love, Master.

:loveya:

:hug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

45. Ah, ZN...

We've already discussed this, briefly, on your other thread. It's good to take time off. I do, certainly, whenever I go on vacation. Sometimes taking time off makes you appreciate it all the more when you come back.

So take some time off if you think you need to....Just try to come back. :D

We love you...

:loveya::loveya:

:hug:

WIMR

[norml]

50. So set a time limit of one or two hours a day

and only post when you're just going to be sitting around anyway.

[mokawanis]

51. This is a common problem

Happens to a lot of people. We form friendships on the computer and make the mistake of thinking they are as real as the relationships we have in RL. They aren't.

Posting on the DU, or on another forum, or a chat room, allows us all to only reveal what we want, and to keep private the things about us we don't want our comp friends to see. In real life our quirks and our darker side are more evident, not so easily tucked away, and I think that's a good thing. It's healthier.

When being on the computer starts to do harm to how we manage RL it's time to walk away, imo, and to maintain a good distance unitl we have a better perspective. Most or all of the friends you have on DU will still be here when you return in a week or a month or whatever.

[bridgit]

52. it certainly seems possible to spend so much time here that your...

thoughts become irrelevant, some spend so much time in spite of having stated that they work somewhere, doing something (i.e. IT tech, said to be a fav of mass-posting du'ers, a pass-time one would think would afford access and such...but still; shouldn't they actually be tech'ing something somewhere :shrug:), that i wonder what it is they do do,

i don't take breaks, not break-breaks (IRL, i just got back in from some all morning client work all around Davis, i guess that was my break x(), but then by volume, i don't post that much so it's all like whatever!!

effette...do not become effete; referencing here a line from the film 'surviving picasso', delivered by Hopkins, to paraphrase "never become a connoisseur of your own art", because to witness events it is possible to become utterly, completely, and virtually absorbed in your on gibberish if you are not vigilant in that regard. and that can be seen as a form of addiction i agree if while offering a sample perhaps even here :hi:

witnessing the pouncing, not the stalking; that's not what i'm saying, but the circling, waiting for replies, looking, from thread to thread, for certain posters to respond, and buying into what is it their thoughts may be as to what they have, or have not validated, and while the upside can be holistic, the down side can be flat-out hurtful, or draining; and there are such entities as cyber/emotional vampires make no mistake. i don't come here for that sort of validation. i have my cyber friends here, and i'd like them to like me, but even if they told me to piss up a rope...life would go on.

this is not RL; my greater fear is that DU will become pointless. flame, dump, or dither my thoughts where you will; i will not respond.

:loveya: