Attn tinfoil hatters: important info! Your lives may be in peril!

[Benfea]

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

Abstract

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

Side note: this is what happens when you let smart people have too much time on their hands.

[XemaSab]

1. .

:tinfoilhat:

[orleans]

7. "." ??? n/t

[Benfea]

9. !

:hide:

:tinfoilhat:

:radio:

:cry:

:nuke:

:wow:

:crazy:

:+ :+ :+ :+ :+ :+

[orleans]

18. ???????????????????????

[BrotherBuzz]

2. And for that very reason us true tinfoil conspiracy theorists have...

always insisted on using genuine tinfoil. None of that aluminum crap for us. Heck some of the heavy dudes in my group insisted on using lead foil for additional security, but they seem to be dying off of late.

Yes indeed, the thrill of finding a roll of NOS tinfoil really makes our day. Plus tin has just the right crinkle feel to it.

[Benfea]

3. How do you know Sn wouldn't affect the same frequencies in the same way?

I mean, you can't be sure, can you?

Trust me, I know a thing or two about Gauss' work. What you really need to do is build a box out of chicken wire that's big enough to encase your entire body.

[BrotherBuzz]

4. I test my outfit out on the Degaussing range on the bay...

and the Coast Guard ignores me. I'm invisible, invincible, and my compass mostly points north. Tinfoil keeps my tuna sandwich dry, too.

[Benfea]

8. Your tests are deeply flawed.

You fool! For all we know you've already been reprogrammed and are just telling us you weren't. You can no longer be trusted!

[BrotherBuzz]

10. Who's the fool?

Before they can pry any secrets from me, they must first find the real me! Which one will they pursue?

Oh, my tinfoils leisure suit receives Radio Free Bolivia on clear nights and I spontaneously started speaking Spanglish with Quechua, and Aymara inflections. My new drinking buddy, Agent Mike, gets perturbed when I start speaking in a tongue he can't follow. Ain't America grand!

[Benfea]

11. You can't trick me!

You've already been reprogrammed by the government, and I'm not falling for your little song and dance, mister!

[BrotherBuzz]

12. "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, and I have miles to go.....

before I sleep" - "Telefon" (1977)


Who's to say I'm not sleeper agent hypnotically programmed to commit sabotage and suicide and given a cover identity? Can you reprogram someone that doesn't know they were even programed in the first place?

Before you can pry any secrets from me, you must first find the real me! Which one will you pursue?

[Benfea]

13. You just revealed yourself, government stooge!

That quote is from the poet Robert Frost, not some 70s movie!

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it's queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I'm not falling for any more of your dirty government tricks! You hear me?

[BrotherBuzz]

14. How do you know I wasn't a Hollywood Stooge....

Berfore I was a Soviet stooge turned Jackboot thug American stooge?

Everyone knows that's a line from Robert Frost except Soviet moles who can't remember their real first name.

Before you can pry any secrets from me, you must first find the real me! Which one will you pursue? - Jean Harlow

Hey, now I think I'm Billy the Kid! :crazy:

[libodem]

5. And I thought I was the only one worried about the thought police

I'm in fine company:)

[Peter Frank]

6. I GET IT!...

KINDA' LIKE THE AMBIGUOUS WORKINGS OF ALL CAPS!

[Benfea]

15. I'm so confused!

:D

[Jamastiene]

16. You are not alone. n/t

[Benfea]

17. Good.

Stupidity loves company.

Or is that not how that cliché goes?