Okay, I think I can provide some needed perspective on Titty Twisters

[eeyore]

I am the last of four boys in my family. I grew up getting my ass kicked by my older brothers on a daily basis. Swirlies, wedgies, titty twisters, dutch rubs, pepper bellies, being hung upsided down off of balconies, and just plain old punching. That's what was inflicted every single day, just as a matter of course. It's pecking order boy stuff.

When I was in 7th grade in 1980, one of the bigger kids at the school came up to me, really for no reason, and kicked me as hard as he could in the the nuts. I immediately dropped to the ground with severe pain. I got up and went to the bathroom and saw that my scrotum had swelled to double size and had turned a lovely plum purple-black. I got my mom, she took me to the hospital, and after an ultrasound it was determined that all was still in tact, and they sent me home to bed rest for a solid week. I laid there with ice on my balls watching TV for a whole week. Everyone knew why I wasn't in school, and some friends visited me. Some girls in my class even baked me dick shaped cookies.

So, what happened to the a-hole who kicked me in the nuts so hard they turned black and blue? He was told to apologize. That's it. No one pressed charges, no one called the cops, no one had to do community service. Am I upset about that? No, because I suffered enough humiliation and pain without brining the fucking cops and the press into the whole deal. He was ostracized by myself, my friends, and my family. He was no longer allowed to come over to our house.

My point is Titty Twisters are nothing compared to what most boys do to each other. It will never be stopped. Yes, violent behavior should be interrupted every time it occurs, but calling the cops over a titty twister is way beyond the pale. This is just another sign of our far-too-litigious society.

I got the crap kicked out of me nearly every day until I was about a sophomore in high school, and I honestly think it gave me a certain mental and physical toughness that I've needed to survive in the world. I am a successful professional full-grown man with very sensetive side. I am majorly pro-feminist and anti-violence. I think people are overreacting in a huge way to this story.

Just my two cents.

[GirlinContempt]

1. Yep

[eeyore]

2. I knew the Canadians would get it...

Damn sue happy Americans! :P

[GirlinContempt]

7. It's staggering

[ghostsofgiants]

3. ...

:thumbsup:

[eeyore]

4. I knew the primates would get it...

Damn sue happy Americans! :P

[ghostsofgiants]

5. A Canadian primate, no less.

:P

[eeyore]

6. Sheeeeit.....you're doubling it up on me!

:toast:

[Viva_La_Revolution]

8. To busy writing that to show up tonight!!??

hmmmmmm?

You missed hanging out with a great bunch of people, and much tasty brews!!

[eeyore]

10. Damn, that's cold!

Had a night at home with the in-laws who are in town this weekend. Against my better judgement I'm still awake, even though my alarm will hit at 6:45 to take them to the airport. x(

I would much rather be just arriving home from the meetup, a few beers in me. Oh well, at least I had some great wine tonight!

Next time, Viva_la, next time.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

16. OK, we forgive...

:)

[eeyore]

19. Whew!

:toast:

[jus_the_facts]

9. Reminds me of Dusk Til Dawn....the Titty Twister Bar....

:evilgrin:

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

17. That's what I thought this thread was going to be about

"Pussy, pussy, pussy ..."

[eeyore]

18. ?

You knew it would be about black and blue balls?

:shrug:

[RagingInMiami]

11. Your story made me grab my balls and cringe

[eeyore]

14. Glad to provide you with an opportunity to touch yourself!

:P

They still work, by the way. I got a girl pregnant after that.

[no_hypocrisy]

12. I only wish that the guy who kicked you in the balls was held to

account. More than "Sorry!" like Mr. Gumby in Monty Python. If he had to go before a council of adults and try to justify his juvenile if not sadistic behavior (which we know he couldn't). Let him absorb the "big picture". And SOME kind of punishment like detention, expulsion, etc.

I know you didn't want to make a bigger deal out of the situation. But my concern is he "got away with it" and went on to be a bigger bastard with new techniques of cruelty. We know that society has an ambivalent attitude towards bullies: it disproves of them yet it admires them for their nerve.

[eeyore]

13. He actually felt terrible about it

And I have a feeling that his dad beat the shit out of him over it - literally. I'm certain he was punished by his parents, because I witnessed them being very strict and threatening. Also, to a large group of people he will always be thought of as the asshole who kicked me in the nuts - you don't forget something like that.

Last I knew he was managing a brand new Albertson's, probably a pretty good job.

[no_hypocrisy]

15. The funny thing about is the way you won't mention it except in

a fleeting way if you ever encounter each during a high school reunion. I have found that your classmates will treat you in a much more respectful way once you've put on years.

I'm relieved to hear that this guy had to answer to someone. Thanks for sharing your story.

[hfojvt]

20. as the older brother with one younger brother

I cannot relate to your story at all. My brother was like a best friend, not a punching bag, although we had our scraps and fights. I cannot imagine my parents allowing anything like you describe, nor would I have wanted to experience it, from either side.

Either you are going to blow the incident off, or retaliate yourself or through the authorities. I am not comfortable with telling the victim of even a very minor assault that they have to blow it off. I say more power to the victims.

Good to see that you are still here :hi: love the user-name.

[eeyore]

28. No one told me to blow it off.

My parents were very concerned, and tried to help me the best they could. It would have made zero sense, really, to do much beyond what was done. His parents were called and told what he did, he came over and saw me laid up, and apologized for being an asshole. No one told me to blow it off, in fact I chose to just let it go. He never envisioned the consequences of what he did, and I think he learned a lot from the incedent. I just wanted to heal up and move on with life.

I have good relationships with my brothers now. I'm not excusing violence, and as a parent I would interrupt it right away.

And as I said upthread, everything still works down below just fine.

:hi:

[hfojvt]

36. What I meant

is that in the current situation you are saying that the victim of the titty twister should just blow it off. It may be a minor assault in the grand scheme of things and I would not expect criminal charges either, but I do not think it should be blown off.
Although I am reminded of what someone wrote about our justice system. Criminal hurts a victim and our "solution" to that is for the state to hurt the criminal. That is supposed to be a deterrent, but it certainly does not do anything for the past. It just creates more victims.

[pitohui]

21. you'd make a terrific battered wife

i am sorry that you don't respect yourself enough to admit that it is not OK for other people to beat you up, kick you in the balls, and put you in the hospital

i am sorry that your parents didn't love you enough to want to protect you and to see your abuser prosecuted and punished

jeezus that's a rough one, talk about your stockholm syndrome

you know what, i don't even care any more about people who don't respect themselves or their children, what i DO care about is that you also thought this kind of abuse was just fine when it happened to me, and when it happened to my brother, and when it happened to plenty of other children that i knew who committed NO crime and didn't deserve to be physically abused, robbed, beaten, and hospitalized by bold violent criminals who went unpunished

because you had no justice, because i had no justice, you think it's OK that there should be no justice for every child victim of violent crime forever down thru time

you are no better than the man who beats his child and says, my old man whooped my ass and i turned out better for it

you excuse, you ENCOURAGE, the very crime perpetrated against yourself

i'm sorry

i won't do that

i won't tolerate that

it was wrong for bullies for persecute and assault me, it was wrong for bullies to persecute and assault my brother, it is ALWAYS wrong for bullies to persecute and assault any child

and if you truly can't see that, if you truly want to promote the idea that it's all fun and games to put a child in the freakin hospital, oh man...you are a sinner, my friend, you have to know in your soul that you have crossed over, because that is the very definition of selling yourself to evil

and for what? you don't even gain anything by taking the side of the bully

mental toughness, my ass, you appear to have lost your soul and sanity

i hope to god that you just forgot to add the :sarcasm: tag but otherwise it is difficult to understand how such a post can stand unchallenged

look friend, bullying is wrong, putting children in the hospital is wrong, if you can't stand up against that, you can't stand for anything and your "support" of feminist ideals is completely worthless to me and mine as well as you and yours

[jpgray]

22. Who are you talking to?

All the above poster is saying is that a titty-twister is no great shakes compared to serious physical abuse. And he's right. He's not saying bullying isn't wrong, he's saying that a lone titty-twister isn't significant enough to get worked up over to the point of calling the cops.

[DS1]

27. I think there's some of this going on

[name not needed]

35. Definitely

[eeyore]

29. Wow....I don't even know where to go with that.

Can we just agree to disagree?

I'm really not interested in defending myself against your statements about what you believe about me.

Let's see...I have Stockholm Syndrome, I'm a sinner, I'm evil, and I've lost my soul and sanity.

I'll cop to everything but the first one.

;-)

[RDU Socialist]

31. you have absolutely no ability to comprehend what you're reading

do you? This poster said that the fact of the matter is the kid was forced to apologize, and he ended up being ostracized by a lot of people. The cops DIDN'T need to be called in on this situation. Your advocacy of police intervention for every minor incident is ridiculous and is an indication of either latent Stalinist feelings on your part, or simple insanity.

and if you truly can't see that, if you truly want to promote the idea that it's all fun and games to put a child in the freakin hospital, oh man...you are a sinner, my friend, you have to know in your soul that you have crossed over, because that is the very definition of selling yourself to evil

NOWHERE IN HIS POST DID HE CONDONE WHAT HAPPENED. What he said is he didn't think it was necessary to go through an entire criminal proceeding for what was done to him, as he felt that the social ostracism the kid experienced as a result was punishment enough. Jesus, do you take everything to it's most ridiculous and extreme conclusion, or is it just in regards to incarcerating children.

If you want to play this game, so will I. Why on Earth are you in favor of locking kids up? Why do you support putting little, weak children in prison? That seems very evil to me.

[name not needed]

32. I see you're still pulling facts out of your ass to support your

bullshit arguments. You know nothing about this person, and yet you continue to assert that he's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and that his parents didn't love him. I certainly don't remember him saying anything of the sort, and by justifying it you're just deluding yourself even further.

"and if you truly can't see that, if you truly want to promote the idea that it's all fun and games to put a child in the freakin hospital, oh man...you are a sinner, my friend, you have to know in your soul that you have crossed over, because that is the very definition of selling yourself to evil"

He didn't say anything like that. All he said was that though bullying is a problem, and that putting kids in jail doesn't help anything. It just makes things more complicated for people being bullied.

Now feel free to make up any personal details about me that may hide the fact that you don't know what you're talking about.

[OhioBlue]

34. wow - your response is just overwhelming

the meaning of his post were that "titty-twisters" are pretty minor in the scheme of things and nothing to call the cops over.

I don't see any reason to attack the OP - nobody thinks it is okay for kids to endure any pain, but we can't go so over the top that we call the police over horse-play.

[bertha katzenengel]

23. Eeyore, if I weren't married (and gay) I'd propose on the spot.

This is sophistication: we take what we learn in the school of Hard Nox and it shapes us -- if we are receptive to the lessons.

Dick-shaped cookies :rofl:

:bounce:

[eeyore]

30. Well, I'm flattered by your in jest proposal, Bertha!

:blush:

I agree that can be a lot to learn from any shitty situation. Just depends on how you look at things. Now I know it's possible for my nutsack to be twice the size and deep purple black. Who knew?

:toast:

[bertha katzenengel]

37. oh, man...

it's just so weird for me to hear about such things... :blush:

But then, Robert Schimmel (a comedian) is my guilty pleasure. Listen to his stuff sometimes. I shouldn't :blush: at your comments!

[gizmo1979]

24. I got stabbed in the face with a

bic pen in junior high.That hurt I later pushed the kid down the steps.No cops involved in that incident either.I was always told to fight my own battles.

[jpgray]

25. Absolutely. I find some of the reactions to this story beyond bizarre

[pink-o]

26. I was in middle school a few years before you....1967-69

...and I got smacked around by boys for the entire 2 years. But guess what? (here's the kicker) I'm a 6'1" WOMAN, who reached her full height at 14!!!! It was beat into my brain that I could never fight back--it wasn't LADYLIKE:puke: !!!! One guy just loved the titty twister move, another the ass grabber, one flashed me on a regular basis. But when I complained, I was told to ignore them--boys will be boys.

I can only hope boys and girls nowdays find more adult support from bullies and rapists-in-training. Your stories of the 80s don't reassure me, Eeyore, but it's 20 years on and here's hopin' things are different. As for me, I finally lost my temper one day and had this one bully in a headlock under the drinking fountain, running water onto his face and demanding he apologise. The kids around me were cheering wildly--but typically, the principal called me into his office and gave me the lecture about how "ladies" don't beat the daylights outta guys, otherwise they'll stay dyke spinsters for the rest of their lives.

Okay, to be fair, I ran into the guy about 10 years ago and he's very nice and mellow and had the grace to feel bad about our past. But seeing as he was in his early 40s at the time, one can only hope he's learned how to treat people. We do our boys NO FAVOURS if we allow them to act like that when they're teenagers. Gawd knows, they could grow up to be Bushy Boy--insular, stupid and still a bully.

[name not needed]

33. Damn straight.