I just spoke to God

[jpgray]

He says you're not on the righteous path.

[Bucky]

1. Should I ask you "Anything"?

[jpgray]

3. Give it a shot

[Bucky]

18. Okay, a penguin pushes his broken car into a garage, and the mechanic says

"Looks like you just blew a seal."

And the penguin goes, "nah, that's just some melted icecream. Now can you please fix my car?"

How's that?

[jpgray]

19. Next time post a pheasant plucking joke

:P

[XemaSab]

2. Really?

I'm not sure what you mean by that...

[jpgray]

9. I'm sure

[Dave Reynolds]

4. Tell him to blow me.

Respectfully, of course.

[jpgray]

8. He says okay, but no anointething

[madinmaryland]

5. I just spoke to Dog.

He barked at me!

[jpgray]

6. Dognose I expected this post to appear

:patriot:

[Texasgal]

7. Well.. I *still* hope that

Barry Bonds Dick falls off.... :P

[jpgray]

13. He asks if you would settle for Bonds experiencing gynecomastia instead

[Texasgal]

21. Damn...

I really wanted his dick to fall off! :cry:

Man... I NEVER seem to get what I want! *stomp* *stomp*

[LostinVA]

10. Then it was a false god, because God is a she

[jpgray]

14. "He" is just a nickname--the sound of laughter

Boy are you narrowminded. :D

[LostinVA]

23. Narrow minded? Whatever. You don't have a sense of humor.

That actually ticks me off you called me that, because religiously, I am far from narrow minded. Again, whatever.

[jpgray]

24. Then at least we have something in common

:D

[SOteric]

11. I spoke with him a few years back. He seemed to think I was doing okay.

Of course, I was dead at the time, so maybe it's that whole 'being alive' thing that's trippin' me up.

[Benfea]

12. I just spoke to my mechanical pencil

He says not to listen to you because you're completely nutters.

[terrya]

15. Did you ask Him...

If He's pissed that Falwell, etal, claims to speak for Him? And Fred Phelps...are there any smiting plans from Him?

[jpgray]

16. It's actually discussion of the Oscars that really rankles

:grr:

[terrya]

17. Yikes!

Oh-oh...there are going to be some people in GD that are in TROUBLE now...

[Droopy]

20. I spoke to him earlier today

when a car cut me off in my big truck and made me see my entire life in about 1.2 seconds. He said he digs my trucking stories, and wouldn't want to see me too soon.

[jpgray]

22. I figure if you make your prayers extremely boring and tedious

God will keep you alive for as long as possible. :D

[tigereye]

25. tell her to mind her own business!

[matcom]

26. that fucker owes me $265 Million!

:grr:

he PROMISED I would win the lottery last week x(

[Susang]

27. Tell me something I didn't know

He's been nagging me about that since I turned eighteen. Damned Catholic school! :mad:

[jpgray]

28. Catholicism is a fucking hard habit to keep. Like flossing your teeth

I became a lapsed Catholic at the age of about seven.

[Susang]

29. I must have been more stubborn than you

Or bullheaded, take your pick. It took me another 11 years to get to that point. :D

[HEyHEY]

30. Tell him to call his mother

[TrogL]

31. I knew that

He needs somebody to do the dirty work.

[Heidi]

32. I don't believe Will Pit would say that.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4854853#4856088