I'm going to logically prove the existence of God

[jpgray]

Ready? Here:

"If this conditional is true, then God exists."

There you go. All you fundies can thank me later. Offer valid for all Semitic monotheistic religions, but is subject to tense modification for polytheists and other miscellanies. Existential void where prohibited.

[Random_Australian]

1. interestingly and seriously the other day

I 'proved' that you aren't allowed to prove or disprove God's existence, as inherit in the definition of an infinite god.

Pretty cool huh?

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. But the Babel Fish

is a dead giveaway, isn't it?

[Random_Australian]

3. "You exist, therefore, you don't" sounds scarily like

the arguments you get when you apply logic to god...

I've just learnt to post links! http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=609260&mesg_id=609260

[BrotherBuzz]

4. We can prove logically prove Hell isn't freezing over, too

An Engineering Student Mid-Term Paper

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not Belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

[pokerfan]

5. Sadly, I can prove that there is no afterlife

If there were an afterlife, Isaac Asimov would have written a book about it by now.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. Ahhh...you have never heard a priest tell the tale of the water bugs

during a funeral mass obviously. Isaac may very well have written that book...he just has no means of getting it out here on earth. :P

[mikeytherat]

6. No one exists in the universe except for ME.

The rest of you are just phantom images.

mikey_the_rat

[Strong Atheist]

8. Classical circular reasoning. nt.