I'm taking my food stamps to the store...Can I buy you anything?

[Maddy McCall]

I'm going to go get in my Lexus and drive to the Piggly Wiggly--need to buy some shrimp and ribeyes.

Can I bring you anything?

[Droopy]

1. I could use a fifth of whiskey

But I don't feel like drinking tonight so I will settle for a twelve pack of beer.

[Maddy McCall]

2. Well, I'll see if I can buy someone a big ham for $10 cash...

and then I'll take the cash and buy your beer, k?

:D

[Hugin]

3. 5 pounds of colossal king crab legs and some gov't cheese... Pls.

Could you stop by the drug store and grab the missus some syringes...

We're out and she's due.

[Maddy McCall]

6. I'll get the crab legs and some cheese...

and I'll use my welfare money to buy the syringes. :D

[Gormy Cuss]

4. Why drive? Order home delivery.

You don't want to park that shiny new Lexus in a supermarket parking lot. Someone might see your kids' private school sticker.

The trick is to spend enough money on shrimp and ribeyes to qualify for free delivery. Might be best to throw in a lobster or two just to play it safe. If you don't like lobster I'll take them off your hands.

[Maddy McCall]

7. Well, the P Dub doesn't deliver.

I'll park in one of those big-ass handicap spaces and use my Segway to get to the front door. And of course to shop inside.


I'll pick you up four or five lobsters, though. :D

[Bunny]

5. Well, I'd like a couple of lobster, and a store bought cake.

Thanks, and could you get those clerks to hurry up and bag it for you? I'm kinda hungry. Thanks!

[Maddy McCall]

8. I'll make them bag it in plastic, and then double bag it in paper...

Yes, I can get the lobsters and the cake. Any special design on the cake you want?

:hi:

[Bunny]

13. Design on the cake? How about a thumbs up or a winking eye?

Just to get the message across that I'm sticking it to the man! I want to be sure everyone knows that I'm defrauding the government!

:hi:

[Maddy McCall]

15. Yeah, excellent!

Maybe a big bird-flipping hand.

Alright! Be back in a few! :rofl:

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. Get yourself a bumper sticker for a private school

while you are there. :hi:

[Maddy McCall]

10. Pfft! I have a Liberty University Graduate bumper sticker.

:hi:

[countingbluecars]

11. Don't forget to be

confrontational with the cashier.

[Maddy McCall]

14. Don't worry. If she doesn't properly sort my groceries...

I'll call the manager to fire her. :D

[Maddy McCall]

12. Alright! I'm off to the store. If you didn't get your request in in time

I'll pick up some shrimp cocktails and party platters and cases of pop, so that you can eat when I get back. :hi:

[Redstone]

16. Let us know if your Lexus drove smoothly, OK?

Redstone

[Generic Other]

17. Screw the groceries! Just trade the stamps for crack...

or meth or whatever. Just don't bring back oregano!