What are your favorite SIMPSON'S QUOTES?

[45th Med]

Hi I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from.....

....such educational films as "Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly," and "Here Comes the Metric System!"

....such fishing films as 'Cast Out' or 'The Reel Deal.'

....such films as "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" and "Dial 'M' for Murderousness".

....such films as "'P' is for Psycho" and "The President's Neck is Missing".

....such films as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" and "Gladys, the Groovy Mule".

....such films as "The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed" and "They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall".

....such Fox Network Specials as "Alien Nose Job" and "The Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show".

....such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"

....such nature films as "Earwigs: Ewwww" and "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory".

....such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge".

....such telethons as "Out With Gout '88" and "Let's Save Tony Orlando's House".

....such cartoons as "Christmas Ape" and "Christmas Ape goes to Summer Camp".

....such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot".

....such TV spinoffs as "Son of Sanford and Son" and "After Mannix".

....such instructional videos as "Mothballing Your Battleship" and "Dig Your Own Grave and Save".

....such public service videos as "Designated Drivers, the Lifesaving Nerds" and "Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness".

....such medical films as "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore" and "Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?".

....such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?".

....such Do-It-Yourself home videos such as "The half-assed approach to foundation repair"

....such dates as last nights dinner.

[VelmaD]

1. Mmm...

forbidden donut. :-)

They're showing the one where Bart takes up mini-golf right now here in Austin. Has a great line "It's just got a bad name. Everyone would love it if it had a cute name...like elf grass." Hee.

[45th Med]

103. "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" nt

nt

[BlackVelvetElvis]

2. 64 slices of American cheese....

64 <gulp>
63 <gulp>...
morning comes and Marge walks in <Homer is struggling to keep the cheese down>
....2 <gulp>....Ooonnnne...
"Homer have you been up all night eating cheese?"
"I think I'm blind!"

[Cocoa]

3. "Sticking together's what good waffles do"

from the Thelma and Louise episode. :-)

[BlackVelvetElvis]

39. Also during that episode

Chief Wiggum and Homer are chasing the "rebelling women" (love that line!) and Wiggum puts on some car chase music: Leslie Gore's "Sunshine, lollipops..." When I feel like car chasin', I always pop in some Leslie Gore!

[Blue-Jay]

4. Damn, I miss Phil Hartman.

He's just about the only comedian/actor that I cried over, after hearing of his death.

<sigh>

I should just post some good Simpson quotes.

[Dogmudgeon]

5. "I'm still looking for the real killer"

Oh, wait, wrong Simpson.

My bad!

--bkl

[Dogmudgeon]

6. Buffalo wings? I didn't know buffalos could fly!

Oops, another wrong Simpson.

Not my night, is it?

--bkl

[thom1102]

72. Damn! You beat me too it...

oh well, I posted the same thing a little further down. Great minds and all that.

[BrotherBuzz]

7. "Wait three days?! But I'm mad now!!!"

when Hommer tries to buy a gun...

[MuseRider]

8. Smells like hot dogs.

For some reason that line cracks me up just thinking about it.

[JaySherman]

9. "As punishment for your desertion"

"it's company policy to give you the plague"

Burns gets all the best lines :grin:

[BlackVelvetElvis]

17. That was a great line

Harry (isn't it Harry Shearer?) does a great job with Burns!
That one made me giggle just reading it!

[solinvictus]

10. Mr. Burns

Comparing himself to Oskar Schindler for his biopic to be directed by Steven Speilbergo, the Mexican, non-union, Speilberg:
"Why that Oskar Schindler fellow and I are cut from the same cloth; we both sold shells to the Nazis, but dammit, mine worked!"

The second Halloween special when Mr. Burns and Smithers use Homer's brain for a robotic worker. Mr. Burns places Homer's surgically removed brain on his head: "Look at me, I'm Davy Crockett!" I love Mr. Burns.

On edit, Grandpa Simpson has some great ones too.
"The blue pills are ta keep ya from screamin'."

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

12. Bart

"Oh my God! The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"

[45th Med]

13. LOL! I love it when he asks for the ice cream scooper and says....

DAMMIT SMITHERS, THIS ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE, IT'S BRAIN SURGERY!

[dolo amber]

29. Same episode

Everyone is auditioning to play Mr. Burns in said biopic...William Shatner, Bumblebee man, etc. They all rub their hands menacingly and say "Excellent"....When it's Homer's turn he says :

"ex-ACTLY" :D

I dunno why, that just KILLED me...

Oddly enough, from this past week's episode came the funniest thing I've heard on there in quite a while. Marge and the kids are out looking for Homer, thinking he's been carried off by a bear, Marge says something like, "Oh dear, I hope he's ok, I don't want the last words I ever said to him to be 'Cut your toenails, they look like Fritos' " :7

[Sting]

11. Ralph Wiggum!

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"Ms. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

"I bent my wookie."

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there!"

"And when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life!"

"That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!"

"I dressed myself!"

"At my house, we call them 'oh-ohs'" (Ralph referring to fires.)

[45th Med]

16. What's that one where he goes.....

"I'm happy AND angry!"

[Blue-Jay]

18. Favorite Ralph quotes

"It tastes like burning"
"My cat's breath smells like cat food"

[ajacobson]

35. Mister Simpson

would you cut my meat? I'm not allowed to use knives.

[SheilaT]

14. "Isn't there anything

faster than microwave meatloaf?" Asked by Homer while he standing in front of the microwave watching the meatloaf nuke.

[Ernesto]

15. I'm going to find my wife's killer

on a Floriduh golf course.

[45th Med]

19. Burns...

"I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow ... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me."

[45th Med]

21. More Burns....

Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

[solinvictus]

23. Burns in civil court for hitting Bart with his car..

"I'm rich! I should be able to run down as many children as I like!!"

[CanuckAmok]

51. "Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay, to live in...

...the Land of the Free"

"Books and cocao in the same store? What's next, a talking banana?!"

"It was that loneliness that killed her. Loneliness and leprosy."

"Ketchup...catsup...ketchup...catsup...oh, I'm in over my head"

"Snowmen have peepers...peepers to watch"

"Since the dawn of time, man has longed to destroy the sun"

"Canseco, I said shave those sideburns, hippy!"

"Conga like you mean it! Please don't make me shock you!!"

"I never liked that 'Doctor Stupid'..."

"So the worm has turned, into a shark, with a gun for a beak..."


Mr. Burns is sooooo great!

[CanuckAmok]

53. One More Burns:

Burns: "You there, I need to send this letter to the Prussian Consulate in Siam via aerogram. Am I too late for the 11:30 autogyro?"

Postal Worker: "I don't have a listing for Prussia, Siam, or Autogyro"

Burns: "Bah, the ignorance!!"

[CanuckAmok]

58. Okay, just one more:

"Employee of the Month isn't all ham and plaques!"

[CanuckAmok]

74. No end of Burns quotes:

Watching Bart run amok in a stolen tank: "Smithers, we're at war! Trust the Democrats to let the Spaniards back in the pantry..."

[VelmaD]

20. Aliens! Bioduplication! Nude Conspiracies!

Oh my god, Lyndon LaRouche was right!

[MrScorpio]

22. Homer eyes the last piece of a doughnut for which he sold his soul

"Hmmm. (smack) Forbidden doughnut."

[sidwill]

25. Homer

mmmmmm.....Floorpie.


But Bart, weaseling out of things is what seperates us from the animals......all the animals except the weasel.

[Cocoa]

52. don't call me Mr. Scorpion

It's Scorpio, but don't call me that either, call me Hank. :-)

[BlackVelvetElvis]

24. OT: Simpson DVDs

If you have them or get them, DO listen to the running commentary underneath each episode–those are almost as fun as the episodes themselves!

[45th Med]

26. Chief Wiggum

This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

[solinvictus]

28. Wiggum, on the lookout for Mr. Burns in a burgundy Dusenberg

Burns passes Wiggum and Lou:
"Naahh, Lou, that was more of a maroon color."

[EV1Ltimm]

27. yip, here's your problem. someone set this thing to evil.

[Guaranteed]

30. "It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times????

You stupid monkey!!"

[45th Med]

31. Dr. Nick

"You need to focus on the neglected food groups: The whipped group, the congealed group, and the chocolotastic."

"I recommend a slow, steady gorging process, combined with assal horizontology."

"Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon."

"And remember...if you're not sure of something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye everybody!"

[45th Med]

32. More Dr. Nick

"Sir, calm down, you're going to give yourself skin failure. The symptoms you describe lead me to believe that you are suffering from bonus eruptus, a rare disorder in which the skeleton tries to jump out of the skin. The only way to stop it is through transdental electromicide. I'll need a golf cart motor and a thousand volt capacimator, stat."

[CanuckAmok]

56. "Flammable...INflammable...what a country!!" n/t

[Neshanic]

33. "I guess I have to start when the Angles met the Saxons"....

When a room of writers were told to "tell a bit about themselves".

[scottcsmith]

34. Evil Frogurt

Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate.
That's bad.!?
Homer: Can I go now?


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

[HawkerHurricane]

36. Bart could be the next Warren Berger.

Burger.
Cheese Burger.
Double Cheese Burger!
Bacon Double Cheese Burger!!

or, after George Bush the Greater said
"We need fewer families like the Simpsons and more like the Waltons!"
Bart replied
"We're just like the Waltons, we're sitting around praying the depression will end!"

[elperromagico]

37. Homer to Flanders: "Go suck a Bible"

I don't know why it cracks me up, but it does.

[Guaranteed]

57. LOL

"Take THAT, Lisa's beliefs!"

[CanuckAmok]

59. "it was people...people soiled our green!!' Best. Pun. Ever. n/t

[SmileyBoy]

38. "20 dollars??? I wanted a peanut!!!"

"20 dollars can buy many peanuts."

"Explain how!!"

"Money can be exchanged for goods and services."

"WOO-HOOO!!!"

And another favourite:

"Blue M&Ms, red M&Ms, who the hell cares??? They all wind up the same colour in the end..."

[sleipnir]

40. Hans Moleman:! "I was saying Booourns..."

Or

Marge: This man isn't my father, and this man isn't dead yet.

Hans: That's what I've been trying to tell you

Medic: That's just some gas escaping.

[FARAFIELD]

41. When Sen. Allen Simpson

Mentioned that we need more families like the Waltons instead of the simpsons. Later that year homer said "We are a lot like the Waltons, we are both waiting for the depression to end". Also when it looked like the Plant was going to blow up Burns said "well smithers i guess there is nothing to do but kiss my sorry ass goodbye" smithers replied. "Sir, can i do it for you?" to which Burns said "thanks for making my last moments on earth socially awkward". That show is funny.

[maveric]

42. Sideshow Bob:

"...deep down inside you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a King!"

"No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it."

'I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever. And when they get in, I'm back on the street! With all of my criminal buddies! Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"


http://www.geocities.com/crimemonkey/bob/quotes.html

[ComerPerro]

78. Hey, that's my sig line

Nice

[peekaloo]

93. Mahoke! another Sideshow Bob siggie!

:D

[SmileyBoy]

105. That was my first sig line as well.

Except it went exactly like this:

"Oh sure, you may all vote Democratic, but deep down you yearn for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalise criminals and rule you like a KING!" -Sideshow Bob

[Paragon]

43. Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!

Mmmmm...open-faced club sandwich.

[Guaranteed]

44. "I want some tacquitos."

"WE LIKE ROY! WE LIKE ROY!"

"No, you're as homely as a mule's butt!"

[Syrinx]

45. Homer on medical marijuana

"Marge, it's making my eyes better, and it's legal! I could walk up to the president and blow smoke in his stupid monkey face, and he'd just have to sit there grooooving on it."

[moz4prez]

46. klown kollege

Homer: I'm telling you Marge, this will work. They'll think I'm Krusty and give us free stuff. I've been getting free stuff all day! Look at this swell bucket of house paint. (holds one up) Look at it!

Marge: I'm not saying it won't work, I'm just saying it's dishonest.

Homer: Well if we agree, then why are we arguing? (they walk into the restaurant)

Luigi: Hey, Krusty! Hey, ooh, beautiful date-a tonight, huh? And such-a lovely children you have-a now.

Bart: I'm more striking than lovely.

Luigi: You come-a with me -- come-a with Luigi! You don't want to sit with the rest of these-a scum.

Everyone: Hey! What do you call that? etc.

Luigi: I only-a consider you scum compared-a to Krusty.

Everyone: Ah! Oh, well, right. I can see that, etc.

Luigi: Yeah, you see how you scum.

[Catshrink]

47. Bart is in the hospital

I forgot why.... but he's running around being a little nuisance.

He drew a face on his butt and went around mooning other patients saying:

"I'm Dr. Butz, I'm a little behind."

So, when I was teaching Excel classes, we used job status as one column to sort by and then do conditional formatting on. We used the status "behind". After seeing that Simpson's episode, I could never do that part without totally cracking up. Then I'd have to explain but nobody got it.

[moz4prez]

94. NO NO NO!!!

it was Doctor Cheeks i think. he underwent an appendectomy and all the other kids wanted one too.

[Catshrink]

48. And then there was the one when Homer got really fat...

remember? So he'd get a disabililty?

And he fell asleep or something and the reactor started a meltdown.

He woke up just in time and ran to the plant. He climbed up the cooling tower to stop the leak, but the line he was balancing on broke. He fell onto the pipe that was about to leak.

When Mr. Burns was giving Homer an award, Bart cracked:

"That's the first time Dad's butt ever stopped the flow of toxic gas."

Priceless.

[maveric]

49. Poppy Bush:

"I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet".

[pmbryant]

50. Homer: 'It's funny because it's true'

That's the one that always sticks in my head. :D

--Peter

[northzax]

84. and furthermore...It's only funny

because I don't know him.

[Kat 333]

54. When Lisa said ...

"Prayer the Last Refuge of Scoundrels" as she passed Bart's room and saw him on his knees praying for his ass to be saved.

It always reminded me of Lee Atwater... the sickning Repuke who "found Jesus Christ" on his death bed.

[salinen]

55. When Krusty

opens a burger joint and something happens that really pisses him off so he runs a T.V. commercial saying that he's going to spit in every 10th burger. Homer sees the commercial and says "oh, I like those odds."

[guitar man]

60. In the Homer gets obese to work at home episode

Bart: " I find it ironic that for once Dad's butt actually prevented the release of toxic gas"


I also love the one where the ending is the cops showing up for a house party after a pot bust with "jammin" playing in the background and Chief Wiggum singing along

Edit typo

[Awsi Dooger]

61. A couple of gems from Ned Flanders

from the episode which features Flanders dating a starlet:
"I haven't felt this good since we stole the 2000 election."

Flanders explaining to the starlet he's not gay:
"I don't even eat vegetables more than two inches long."

[Kamika]

62. ANYTHING by Hans Moleman

If only this sugar were as sweet as you, sir."

"The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage."

"Well, you're certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun

"Hello, this is Moleman in the morning. Good Moleman to you. Today part four of our series of the agonizing pain in which I live every daaaay."

"Oh, no. My brains."

"Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?"

"Drinking has ruin my life. I'm 31 years old!"

"A poem. By Hans Moleman. I think that I shall never see. My cataracts are blinding me. "


And the last quote.. I'll try to remember it

Burns and Smithers are having a parade or something and everyone is booing..

Burns: Are they booing me Smithers?
Smithers: Oh, no Sir.. they are saying BOO-urns.. BOO-urns
Burns to the crowd: Are you BOOing me or saying BOO-urns??
The crowd: BOOO!

Hans Moleman in the crowd: I was saying BOO-urns

[Bertha Venation]

63. mmm.... floor pie....

[felonious thunk]

64. I'm an amendment to be

Yes an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they ratify me

There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policemen
To beat them
Cause there's limits to our liberty
At least I hope and pray that there are
Cause those liberal freaks go too far

Kid: But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional
But if we CHANGED the Constitution...
Kid: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: Now you're catching on!

Kid: But what if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment:
Then I'll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back
I'll say that he's gay

[moz4prez]

65. Nuclear Power Plant bought by Germans, Homer's job at risk

Homer: Ohhh, what am I going to . . . Horst, one of the new German owners walks in on the workers' coffee break. Homer, gasping, flings his donut on the ground, trying to look competent. Hey you! Stop being so . . . unsafe! Smitty . . . safe enough!

Horst: Homer, could we have a word with you?

Homer: No.

Horst: I must have phrased that badly! My english is, how you say, "inelegant." I meant to say, may we have a brief, friendly chat?

Homer: No!

Horst: Once again, I have failed. Reads from pocket English phrasebook. "We request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas!"

Homer: Ahhhh!!!! Runs away.

[Jack The Tab]

80. "we're from the land of chocolate!"

"MMMmmmm, the land of chocolate!"

[noonwitch]

66. Welcome, Neglecterinos!

When Flanders becomes the Simpson kids' foster parent. My employer uses that episode in training foster care workers how not to treat kids and parents.

"Gotta Nuke Something" Nelson Muntz

"Joy to the World, the teacher's dead
We barbequed her head!
What happened to her body,
We flushed it down the potty,
And round and round it goes" also Nelson Muntz

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn" Homer

[Anaxamander]

67. Homer, from 1F17, "Lisa's Rival" (read: Best. Monologue. Ever.)

(After Homer steals a mountain of sugar from the roadside and attempts to make a living from selling it.)

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge! Never! I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all. The terrifying lows; the dizzying highs; the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers," who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

[Aristus]

68. Not a quote, but still a fave:

*Sign placed on Principle Skinner's back by Bart*: Kick Me.

*Sign placed on Bart's back by Principle Skinner*: Teach Me.

[grannylib]

69. "This sounds suspiciously like rock and/or roll" is one of my faves, in

the "Inna Gadda da Vida as Opening Hymn" episode, *lol*

[northzax]

85. hey marge-

remember when we used to make out to this hymm?

[nyrnyr1994]

70. "No TV No Beer...

make Homer something-something..."

Marge: "Go crazy?"

Homer: "DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!!! BHWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHWAHAHAHWAH!"
~

Homer: "Oh Lisa you and your stories, Bart's a vampire....beer kills brain cells."

[thom1102]

71. "I will not rest until I find Nicole and Ron's killer..."

Oh, you mean the series, not OJ. Sorry.

[Dogmudgeon]

83. OJ may not have found the Real Killer ...

... but you found the Real Quote!

--bkl

[CBHagman]

73. "Aw, but I'm angry NOW."

Said by Homer when he runs afoul of the Brady law and faces a waiting period to buy a weapon.

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

76. Blood Bath & Beyond

The name of the sporting goods store where Homer buys his gun.

[webkev]

75. look, write it down and mail it to last week when I might have cared..

[cmf]

77. "Me fail English? That's Unpossible!"

Ralph rules.

[Jack The Tab]

79. "But I don't even believe in Jeebus!" "SAVE ME JEEBUS!!"

From the episode when Homer becomes a missionary. Also in that episode when he's licking toads to get high and Bart asks him "Are you licking toads again?" and Homer says "I'm not NOT licking toads!"

[Tredge]

95. Same episode

Homer: "You are all terrible sinners."

Native Man: "Since when?"

Homer: "Since I got here."

[CanuckAmok]

81. Joey Ramone: "Hey I think they liked us!"

Burns: "Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed."

Smithers: "But, sir, I..."

Burns: "Just do it!"

[CanuckAmok]

82. Joey Ramone: "Hey I think they liked us!"

Burns: "Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed."

Smithers: "But, sir, I..."

Burns: "Just do it!"

[Zero Gravitas]

86. so many good ones in this thread

Burns: You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage...when pigs fly!
<[i>They laugh. The pig sails across the sky before them.]
Smithers: Will you be donating that million dollars now, Sir?
Burns: Nooo, I'd still prefer not.

From Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming:

Bart: Look at that hunk of junk.
Grampa: Oh, jeeh -- you're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane. At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimbleful of corn oil. Singlehandedly won us the Civil War, it did.
Bart: So how do you know so much about American history?
Grampa: I pieced it together, mostly from sugar packets.

******

Guards are searching the base. They open the door to a portable toilet revealing Grampa.

Grampa: This elevator only goes to the basement. And somebody made an awful mess down there.

******

Quimby: Gentlemen, it's time we face up to the un-face-up-to-able. We must sacrifice television in order to save the lives of our townspeople.
Krusty: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Let's not go nuts. Would it _really_ be worth living in a world without television? I think the survivors would envy the dead!

******

Cut back to the air base fence. Marge is bandaging Homer's hands.

Homer: OK, so we can't go over the fence.
Marge: I feel so helpless. What if something happens to them?
Homer: I'm sure they're fine, honey.
Marge: Well, at least they're wearing clean underwear.


Bart: Free and easy, Lis...aaah. There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for pure comfort.
Lisa: Huh? Hurry up, Mom and Dad are probably worried sick.
-- More tenets of the Bart philosophy, "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming"

Colonel Hapablap and an aide walk by.

Hapablap: You know what really frosts my Kelvinator? That friutcup's probably still laughing at us from his damn hidey-hole.
Aide: I'd rather take an order from Bill Clinton then hear that guy's snooty, high-toned voice again, Sir!
-- "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming"

[CanuckAmok]

98. Ha Ha! Did Bush really say what is in your sig?! n/t

[Snivi Yllom]

87. DOH!

Nothing beats DOH!

[DrWeird]

88. mmmmm, sacrelicious

mmmmm, mysterious goo


mmmmm, unaccounted for bacon

[JAbuchan08]

89. From the Crayon in the brain episode

Male scientist: Who's going to buy a pill that makes you blind?
Female scientist: We'll leave that for marketing to figure out.

From the Funzo episode:

How'd you get past Gary Coleman?
Let's just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy.

"I always thought of us as the Moe Syzlak experience featuring Homer."

[JAbuchan08]

90. From the Crayon in the brain episode

"I think I just logged on to my internet."

[brainshrub]

91. "Give me freedom, or I'll take it from you when you're not looking."

-Bart Simpson-

[peekaloo]

92. Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix.

also, my sig line.

[Tredge]

96. Bart crank calls

Bart: "I'm looking for a Miss Hugginkiss. First name Amanda."

Moe to patrons: "Hold on, lemme check. Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Hugginkiss! Oh why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?"

(Bar erupts in laughter)

Barney: "Maybe your standards are too high!"

Moe: "You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"

[Breezy du Nord]

97. "Welcome to Dick Cheney's world"

Can't quite remeber the context of this one, but like it nonetheless.

[Tredge]

99. Classic Comic Book Guy

(bumps into Skinner's mother)

AGNES: Out of the way, tubby!

COMIC BOOK GUY: Oh, pardon me, Oldie Hawn.

AGNES: Why, you ill-mannered sack of crap!

COMIC BOOK GUY: Oh, goody. Now I know whatever happened to Baby Jane.

AGNES: You are the rudest man who ever... (suggestively) bought me dinner.

COMIC BOOK GUY: Correction! I do not believe I have ever bought you... (realizes) Oh.

[rankdog]

100. A stoned Otto, staring at his hand.....

"they're called fingers but I've never seen them fing"

[CanuckAmok]

101. "Don't worry, little dude...I failed the Fourth Grade, too...twice...

but look at me--now I DRIVE the school bus!"

[LynneSin]

102. STOP we have learned all we can from Rectal Probing

From one of the Treehouse of Horrors episodes where the Aliens kidnap Homer and want him to take them to his leader (it was during the 96 presidental elections - the aliens took over Bob Dole and Bill Clinton).

[Richardo]

104. From last night's rerun... Bart: When I die I'm coming back as a butterfly

Lisa: Why?
Bart: 'Cause nobody ever suspects the BUTTERFLY! Bwahahahahahaha!"

[tom_paine]

106. The Homer joins Rock Star Hullabalooza as Iron Stomach Man

Burns: Well, Smithers, you mocked me when I bought Ticketmaster. NOOO ONE will pay 100% service charge, you said.

Smithers: Yes, Mr. Burns. It ensures a good mix of the rich and the ignorant.