I made someone very sad today, and I feel terrible about it.

[Flaxbee]

We had a mommakitty bring us several female kittens last year, and when they were about 5 months old, I started to look for homes for them. Found one a home with a guy who is nice enough, means well, loves the cat, but he's not entirely stable in his living conditions.

I gave none of the other kitties away, and kept the MommaKitty, too.

Around Thanksgiving last year, I started to worry about the one I'd given away, feeling like she needed help, so I went out to where I'd been told the guy lived and couldn't find her or anyone at his place. Then about two days later, the guy calls me and says he's down in Florida, a neighbor is looking after the kitty, he's lost his rental and could I take the cat back for a while until he got settled. I said yes, of course.

He got back to the area and I went to pick her up, and she was fine, but he was with his two sons and they never stopped yelling at each other. The vet we both use said he and his sons always yell when they come in. But otherwise, she was fine, and he obviously loves the cat. I take her back, she settles in, gets used to her sisters again and thrives.

So, two months later, he calls and asks for her back. When I first gave her to him, I cried for days and felt that now that she was back with me, and completely attached to her sisters again, I just couldn't give her back to him.

He's in a home he might be able to buy, and is due for major back surgery in the next few months. He's not had an easy life, and I feel like a major turd for kicking him, so to speak, while he's down. But I don't want the kitty to go back to him, I want her to be here with her sisters and mother (and me) and so I told him no. He's very sad.

And I feel so bad for making him upset, but I worry that he isn't totally stable, he's going to have surgery, and he and his kids are just loud and noisy (kids are only there every other weekend). He also told me he lost the last cat he had (he has one other female), a male, because his friend let the cat out of the car when he'd gone into the store and the cat took off. So I just don't know how careful he is.

Anyway, I just hate to upset someone who is a decent person. I don't like to pass judgment on anyone, but I think if I gave the cat back to him I'd worry the rest of my life. And I love having my kitty family whole again.

I just wanted to vent. I'm going to feel crummy for a while, but thanks for reading this.

[JitterbugPerfume]

1. Hi Flaxbee

((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))) from Jitterbug

[Flaxbee]

2. thank you, Jitterbug. I needed that.

There was no easy answer for this situation - either he'd be happy or I'd worry forever. Sigh.

[JitterbugPerfume]

3. yes you would

and what is more I think the kitty is [probably a lot happier with you

[Flaxbee]

4. I think she's better off here, too...

which is why I ultimately told him "no". But I can never get over hearing sadness and disappointment in someone's voice. I think that's one reason I was a crappy lawyer - too sensitive. :shrug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear Flaxbee........

I think that you did the right thing, absolutely!

Of course it's hard.......

But the kitten's welfare comes first!

Try to not have regrets...they are poisonous!

:hug:

[Flaxbee]

6. thank you, CP. Regrets are the worst.

I think I've managed to shake off the worst of the crumminess, mostly because I do believe I did the right thing.

I love my kitties. I have no biological children, don't want any, and I want my furbabies to have the best possible life. Since I can't go out and save each and every creature who needs a good home, at least I can make sure mine are happy and well-cared-for their entire lives.

[MissB]

7. If the kitty could thank you properly

she would. No kitty should be subjected to constant yelling.