|
this is from another website...but a very comprehensive review of the song...
"Okay. First, that sounds pretty damn good, with some parts being better than others.
Second, a ton of questions:
1. I'm not familiar with the site; what's the main addy?
2. Did you record that in sessions, or all at once (if the latter, then how many people were with you)? I'm guessing that you either used a home system to record the various parts, then uploaded... or that the site lets you record and mix.
3. Was that two guitar tracks, or one? (I'm guessing 2).
4. Did you sing along while playing the guitar, or was the voice a separate track?
Now... I'm guessing (hoping) you want a critique. If you don't, please disregard the following:
First, the recorder: Nice work. I really liked the way you played "around" the traditional melody. That was some creative composition. The main area for improvement with the recorder is in volume and smoothness---I'd vary the volume a bit more; mainly, in places it would've sounded smoother if you'd played a little softer, or used a crescendo or decresendo. I've messed with recorder, so I know it's not an easy instrument to do that on... but you can do it, with some practice.
Second, the guitar(s): Again, nice work. For the strummed guitar, main hiccup was in the strumming action itself: at times it paused a bit too long, and then came in in a hurry... or, the "strum" itself was too hard, compared to the rest of them. When you hit the strings that hard, it puts an extra "twang" into the sound---and to me, the occasional "twang" didn't fit with the mood and overall "soft" feel that song has. It's the kind of twang you'd put into a sea ditty, if you get what I mean.
For the picked notes, nicely done, nicely intricate. Needs a little more confidence in a few places, and I didn't really care for the little... glissando?... on that one note at the end, where you carried the pitch up and down by wiggling your finger. (Argh, I can't remember the term for that.)
Finally, the voice: You need better breath support (diaphragm). There's an old trick of standing a few inches away from a wall, putting a piece of paper up to the wall... and holding the paper in place for as long as you can by pursing your lips and holding it there with the air stream you blow. It's one way to strengthen the diaphragm muscle. In the low notes, your voice quavered a bit and sounded unsupported---again, it's that muscle you need. You were on truer pitch in the midrange and higher notes.
Another reason for breath control---maybe it was just the mix volumes, but your voice seemed a bit loud for the rest of the instruments. Once you start working that diaphragm more, practice using it to help keep you supported on true note, while singing very softly... especially on the low notes.
When you practice singing, try standing up straight to sing, and concentrate on opening up your throat a bit more. That helps keep you from pushing the higher notes through your sinuses as much. There was a very slight nasal quality in the high notes, that you can alleviate by opening up your throat a bit more. *Think* your voice through your throat as you sing a single note---pay attention to what your stomach, chest, neck, and sinuses feel like. Standing up very straight, but with shoulders relaxed, helps with this. After you straighten, consiously drop your shoulders on the outside, and let gravity take them to rest. Don't tighten them as you sing the note---focus on using just your singing muscles: stomach (diaphragm), chest, and throat... and drop your jaw open in a relaxed "ahhhhhh." Notice how your sound differs, how the airflow differs, and how different your muscles in those places feel. It's good practice, and if you concentrate, you can pick it up in singing a song, even if you're playing guitar at the same time. (That's why many performers who play guitar and sing at the same time will perch on a tall stool, versus a short one---the taller stool allows you to sit straighter, and keep your legs straighter in a semi "down" position. When you sit in a chair or short stool, you curl up your legs and lap, which curls *in* the chest and diaphragm, and makes it much harder to use good breath control.)
Overall, you have a good voice. I think it needed to be a bit softer for that song, but it's still a nice voice. Minor point---did you intend for a couple of the words to have a very "southern/country" twang in pronunciation, or was that an accident? I wasn't sure if it was a stylistic choice, or just "that's how it got sung." Main reason I mention it is that it differed from the pronunciation style in the rest of the song, and you might want to consider picking either a straight style, or a country style, for pronunciation, and stick with it---having them mixed is a little distracting.
With the lowest notes, it sounded like you were getting very near the bottom of your range. Unless and until you can deepen your range, and/or get stronger breath control for those notes, you might want to transpose the song up a bit... maybe as much as half an octive, if your voice can handle the notes on the high end. I think it can---you sounded strong on the highest notes, in the key in which you were singing for the recording. Nice clear tenor on those upper notes.
Overall, a good piece, and pretty well ahead of many self-recordings. Like anything, it had better and worse parts and aspects---but I find it very encouraging that:
1. overall, it has a nice sound, and
2. the better parts showed some good musicality, creativity, and skill.
Grading it on a letter scale, I'd give it a "B"... and say that you can easily improve it to an "A" with some work and practice, and some good work on keeping the volumes of parts relative to each other in the mixing part of the recording process.
There. Whew. That took a while. I hope the critique and suggestions help and were encouraging for you. Just so you know, I have a terrible time trying to sing and play guitar at the same time---I tend to get too into one or the other, and either miss stuff (singing), or stumble a bit in chord changes, etc. when playing. If you were doing both at once, you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din! (Tho' I'm a woman... but you get what I mean.)
Oh, and a request: Where did you find the complete lyrics for that song? I've wanted them for years, but never found them."
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
