Why are Guys So Hooked on Looks?

[leftyladyfrommo]

I don't get it. I seem to know more guys hooked up with these awful women and they are just miserable. Yet they still don't get it that just because someone is good looking means they are a real catch. They seem to be caught right in the middle of hell.

If they have to go for looks couldn't they find a nice looking woman who is also nice. They are out there.

But if you want someone really cool go for funny.

I'm confused.

[Katherine Brengle]

1. It's all in the training... n/t

[DS1]

2. Because we're typically more visually-oriented than women

look it up

[matcom]

5. obviously the men the OP is referring to....

made it before last call :hide:

[DS1]

10. What's she doing outside the kitchen anyway?

:shrug:

[matcom]

11. whoring around

obviously

[underpants]

9. mmmmmmmmmmm

:hide:

Boobies!
:yoiks:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4887479

[laheina]

49. That's test #1.

If I'm talking to a guy, and the level of his eyes doesn't go above the double D's--buh-bye! :P

[laheina]

48. Actually, that isn't decided yet.

I read a study, not too long ago, where they had women sit down and watch porn. The rate of dilation of the eyes, which is a measurement of stimulation, was actually greater than that of the men.

However, there are other mitigating factors at work in that situation as well.

[jpgray]

3. Why are people attracted to what they are attracted to?

Why does this seldom match up with what people try to "objectively" identify as a more perfect pairing? Ah, questions for the ages. Next we'll get the perennial classic "why do girls love jerks?"

[Sugar Smack]

33. Ah, memories!!

I remember a poster who went out in a blaze of glory after an uncontrolled spate of those threads.

[In_The_Wind]

38. I give up.

Why do women love jerks?

[blondeatlast]

43. Nothing else available? Swoooooosh..,.

That was my head ducking!

:hide:

[In_The_Wind]

45. Dingdingdingdingding!

Sigh ....




I'll join ya !
Cause sometimes ~ that's the pure truth of the matter!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

4. I call bullshit.

I know MANY, MANY more men that are with not-so-hot looking women than I do vice versa, and the women that are involved with those hot men are in flat out abusive (non-physical, but abusive nonetheless) relationships.

[LeftyMom]

6. Some women do it too.

I think it's less common partly because fewer men go to the effort to look good enough to qualify compared to women so most women just don't have the option of being looks-obsessed without narrowing thier pool of potential mates to near zero.

[Ohio Joe]

21. Many women do it

Being a short, less then attractive man I promise you it happens often.

[laheina]

50. If I did judge by physical characteristics

the ones that I find appealing wouldn't be considered classically beautiful by most other people.

However, anthropologically speaking, generalizations have been made that many women are more interested in attributes of a mate that she thinks will add the the survivability of her offspring. Often sited examples are money, virility, protective tendencies, and age.

But nature vs. nurture would have to be at work here too. So it is hard to separate cultural and biological. :shrug:


I just think that our interests (women's) are a little more complicated than the stereotypical male's search for what they see as good genes.

[SmileyBoy]

7. Because we have penises.

And the freeway that travels from our penis to our brain has no speed limit.

[Strong Atheist]

40. Lol! Agreed. nt.

[laheina]

52. At least your honest!

But that was also funny as hell! :toast:

[Taverner]

8. Evolution

Men have a desire to send their genetic material forward into the most generations. Hence, if we mate with someone beautiful, more likely the child will be attractive and will mate.

Women have this needs, but it is superseded by the need to find someone with secure resources. She wants to make sure her offspring are able to survive longer, as in hunter/gatherer days the guy would be out the cave and onto the next conquest.

[Ravenseye]

22. Bingo

The correct answer is evolution. 5 points.

[laheina]

53. Bingo!

But maybe not out of the cave, but over to the next fire. ;)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

12. 'Cause they're men.

Any other questions?

;)

[maveric]

13. Why are women so hooked on "Bad Boys"?

Shuuning good, sensitive and responsible men for tough guy, assholes that more times than not, end up being abusive dickheads.

I'm confused.

[AlCzervik]

30. to piss of our fathers, at least in my case it was, i married a good man

though, 6 months of dating a total bastard was more than enough for me.

[mac56]

55. Because bad boys, despite their other qualities, are confident.

They're confident assholes, no doubt, but confident just the same.

Women are attracted to confidence. Later on they encounter the "asshole" part, and call up their nice-guy non-asshole platonic male friends to cry and complain.

[Richard Steele]

14. Some of us DO eventually grow up, you know.

My sweetie is not, as they say, "classically beautiful".

But she is wonderful; amazing beyond belief.
And I mean that LITERALLY, in the sense that
some people CANNOT believe it.

To wit: I was once in a "what makes your mate so special"
thread on another board a few years back,
and people flat-out called me a liar when I listed
just a few of her attributes/accomplishments.

But to be fair, I had to learn the HARD way
that chasing LOOKS is not a wise way to go.
I was 30 before I finally made a conscious effort
to look for what was REAL.
But once I did, I found her in 3 months.
That was 7 years ago.

[azmouse]

15. Robin Williams said it best:

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

[EstimatedProphet]

16. I went for funny and intelligent, and got someone who is pretty as well

So, what I think is that people that put looks first are simply immature and self-sentered, and are looking for a life-mate the same way the look for a car. Then they find out that cars and people break down after a while.

[genie_weenie]

17. genetics

Good looks (i.e. symmetrical appearance) is indicative of health, and by extension child birthing, which means if the man catches the women he will have access to many opportunities for sexual congress.

[dpbrown]

18. Can you get elected to that Congress?

Or rather, is that the Congress that they all got elected to already?

[genie_weenie]

20. There are no term limits but, when you reach

Strom Thurmond's age, most people expect you to retire

[DrGonzoLives]

19. And women aren't?

Think again.

[Strong Atheist]

41. Agreed. nt.

[blondeatlast]

44. I'm a straight married woman and freely admit that looks mattered

in my choice of a (knock on wood) life partner.

I know many don't like to hear that, but it's the facts in my case.

Edit: I hope it's obvious that that wasn't my SOLE reason for marrying him.

[Ron Mexico]

23. Why are women so hooked on income?

Isn't love enough?

Apparently not.

Shall we keep up this use of ridiculous stereotypes, or drop it? As a guy, I look at your thread and see no difference between this and "why are all Germans hooked on sausage," "why are all French hooked on smelly cheese," "why are all Italians hooked on pasta," etc.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

24. You Sonofabitch! I am NOT hooked on pasta!!!

:grr::grr::grr:

Okay, maybe I am... :D

[edbermac]

25. This woman is hooked on pasta...

Mamma Mia...

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

27. :drools:

[HughBeaumont]

26. I am.

I can eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner and never get sick of it. You won't catch this guy near anything that says "low carb".

[Xithras]

28. It's not really a stereotype.

As several people have already pointed out, there's an evolutionary basis for this. From a biological standpoint, our only purpose is to reproduce. We can pile all of the civilization and technology on top of it that we want, but from an evolutionary standpoint we exist only to screw like bunnies, make babies, and die.

While the human definiton of "beauty" varies between cultures, it almost always includes young and healthy, with symmetrical features, bountiful breasts, and wide hips. Our brains subconciously consider these to be beautiful because they are features that make women into good reproducers. That "beauty" also means that children are likley to be beautiful, assuring that THEY will reproduce and continue your genetic line. It's not a concious decision and it's not something created by society...dogs and monkeys do the same thing.

This is what evolution is all about. When Darwin talked about survival of the fittest, he was strictly talking about reproduction. He who makes the most babies is the fittest.

Women have the same kind of subconcious urges, though they tend to focus differently. Where men look for fit, healthy women to breed with, women look for men who will BOTH stick around AND provide for them. It's a throwback to the caveman days and may not completely jive with modern sensibilities, but we're all animals and are still subject to our animalistic instincts.

[eyepaddle]

35. That's pretty much it, however there is often another layer

working here as well. (I don't have the links handy, but the studies aren't hard to find) Females of primate species often pair with a mate who is seen as a "good provider" and then proceed to have adulterous sex with a more virile male. I think this is where the "bad boy" thing stems from. It is seen as a compromise--finding the best genes AND giving them the best chance to survive to adulthood.

At this point I want to add that I am not necessarily endorsing these views, or claiming that the studies in evolutionary psychology are without controversy. I've just heard a fair amount of this stuff, and it does seem plausible. We'll see how the field progresses in time though, I suppose.

[Xithras]

36. Exactly, it's all about making and raising healthy babies.

And I've seen the same studies on women taking advantage of the stability of one male while mating with another. It's biological conditioning, and it's intended to create and raise the largest number of offspring possible.

[misanthrope]

66. You still see it all the time...

...The doctor's wife screwing the tennis pro at the country club for example.

[misanthrope]

68. Check out...

...testicular size in men, and hidden fertility and gestation in women for examples.

[genie_weenie]

64. Na na na na na na na na, I blame Roxette!

Excellent summation though

She's got the Look!

Or maybe it was the Violent Femmes...

[misanthrope]

65. It's called K-selectivity...

...with the K standing for "kin." Men ensure genetic survival by producing as many replicants as possible, or R-selectivity with R standing for "reproduction." Women, whose physiology provides them with far fewer chances for offspring per annum, have to insure the survival of their genes via kinship networks or communal groups, tribes, societies if you will.

In other words, men are hard-wired to screw everything they possibly can. Women are hard-wired to surround themselves with support.

And before anyone starts assigning value judgements, physiology also tells us that neither sex is naturally monogamous; that is a product of culture.

[Blue_Tires]

69. lol

thanks, i was waiting for someone to mention that

[HEyHEY]

29. So are women, don't try to deny that

[GirlinContempt]

51. Then explain how you get dates

:P

[ProfessorGAC]

31. Just Guys?

My wife will watch some movies just because she thinks the guy in it is gorgeous. I don't think it's just guys.
The Professor

[Pacifist Patriot]

32. Evolution, genetics and biology.

Either that or Adam was really stupid and set the standard.

[Orsino]

56. Yep. Because it works, evolutionarily.

We are programmed to zero in on good childbearers, based on outward signals of youth, health and fertility. If we weren't, we wouldn't be so successful at reproducing.

[HughBeaumont]

34. Seen commercials lately?

They give the impression that portly, balding Joe Sportsbars can get with women way da hell out of their league.

I've gone out with all types in my life, and I've found that the good looking ones reciprocate that hot body with a nut-job personality.

Personally, I don't gravitate towards the "stunning". Give me an above-average woman with a brain and a curvaceous butt (much like . . .er . . "June" possesses) and I'll be just fine.

[name not needed]

37. Why don't women like nice guys?

I figured we'd get all the dumb questions out at once.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

39. same can be said of women....

[Strong Atheist]

42. For women, especially the OP:

Who was more popular in school, the jocks or the nerds? Take your time...

Nah, looks have NOTHING to do with how some women (as well as men) sometimes make choices...:eyes:

[SteppingRazor]

46. Why are we so hooked on looks?! Are you nuts? I mean, just look at'em!

How can you not be hooked on a good looking woman? They're like works of art. That said, I don't date anyone who only has a pretty face going for them. If they're cruel on the inside, why bother with them?


Also, given that there's currently a Lounge thread reading "Jim Morrison was incredibly sexy," I think it's hard to argue that guys are the only ones who suffer from this ;)

[Strong Atheist]

57. Agreed on all counts... nt.

[blondeatlast]

47. Straight, happily married female here--it works both ways.

If looks aren't the clincher, money is. If not money, it's wit.

It goes on and on.

It may be an ugly part of evolution, but it makes perfect sense in a "survival of the fittest" sense.

Anyone so shallow as to go for looks (or money, power, fame, etc) ALONE deserves to be miserable.

[Strong Atheist]

58. Again, agreed on all counts... nt.

[MadHound]

54. LOL, same thing goes for the women also

Time and again I've seen women hook up with good looking men, men who are shallow, self centered and abusive. But if you try to tell said woman this, she thinks your either jealous or just a jerk. And when she finally wakes up to the realization that the guy is an asshole, well, it seems like she is the last to know.

I think this conundrum is a universal one that baffles both sexes. I understand hooking up with a good looking woman just for a fun night or week. Personality doesn't matter so much then. But for either sex to base decisions concerning major relationships primarily on looks is just crazy.

But time after time, people do so. I don't get it, you don't get it, but hey, it makes divorce lawyers lots and lots of money:silly:

[Strong Atheist]

59. Lol! Agreed! nt.

[leftofthedial]

60. because you might end up making out with them

besides, someone might see you

but we all know that it's the women who always choose the "bad" guy who is a jerk.

[Nikia]

61. Because their friends will think they are cool

They win points for hooking up with a good looking women. When they settle down, they will be given a hard time if they settle down with a less than attractive woman. This may cause them to feel that they should stay with an attractive woman who they don't like as well.
It is something that I have observed with male and female friends. Men give each other a hard time the longer they stay with a less attractive women, but less so at the beginning. Women give each other a harder time intially when their friend is dating someone less than attractive but lay off the longer the relationship edures if their friend seems to be happy. I cannot say it is universal but it is an observation.

[Deja Q]

62. Because looks drive us to what we want most. Probably.

How would I know?

[Swede]

63. Why are gals so hooked on shiny objects?

It's human nature.

[no name no slogan]

67. Not me. I'm hooked on phonics