If you want to be a Republican:

[SCantiGOP]

If any DU'ers are thinking of converting:


> > "Things you have to believe to be a Republican today."
> >
> > o Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
> > you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and
> > you need our prayers for your recovery.
> >
> > o The United States should get out of the United Nations,
> > and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N.
> > resolutions against Iraq.
> >
> > o Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big
> > Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to
> > relieve the pain of illness.
> >
> > o "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and
> > moving their jobs to India.
> >
> > o A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own
> > body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions
> > affecting all mankind without regulation.
> >
> > o Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
> > Hillary Clinton.
> >
> > o The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
> > troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and
> > combat pay.
> >
> > o Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you
> > someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
> >
> > o If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have
> > sex.
> >
> > o A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
> > allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
> >
> > o HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the
> > public at heart.
> >
> > o Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
> > Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
> >
> > o Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
> > science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
> >
> > o Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy
> > when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney
> > did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we
> > can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
> >
> > o A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
> > impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for
> > a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
> >
> > o Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
> > Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and
> > censoring the Internet.
> >
> > o The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle
> > trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our
> > business.
> >
> > o You support states' rights, which means Attorney General
> > John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives
> > they have a right to adopt.
> >
> > o What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
> > interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

[grannylib]

1. Well done, this is good stuff...

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

I can't believe that all the crap he spouted in that speech went so unnoticed! "Successful societies provide healthcare for all their citizens..." so I guess we are not a successful society, eh, Georgieboy??

[ComerPerro]

2. He also has said

That "free nations do not posess or develop Weapons of Mass Destruction". So, I guess we are not a free nation. Neither is Great Britain or Israel, apparently.

[grannylib]

4. Yeah that was another glaring point that, hmmm, oddly enough

none of the Liberal Media have jumped on, hmmmm....
Wonder why not?? Could it be because they are all wrong-wing corporate media whores???

[ComerPerro]

3. Get this

My brother was telling me that he saw a really funny post on Free Republic yesterday (he is very liberal, but FR just fascinates the hell out of him, so he always reads it and comments on how pathetic FReepers are).
Apparently, some FReeper is really pissed because his state government won't give him a scholarship to go to a Christian Univeristy.
It took me a few minutes to really wrap my mind around this one.
First off: If you are going to a Christian School, why should you expect the government to pay for it?
And moreover: What the fuck is a FReeper doing asking the goverment for money? Aren't these people supposedly opposed to big government? Wouldn't the goverment paying for his education be considered a form of socialism? And, don't FReepers despise liberals for their "reliance on handouts"????


These Republicans are walking contradictions. Most of it comes from hatred of humantiy, and extreme selfishness.

[SCantiGOP]

7. ask Ben Franklin

there's a great quote from Ben, that goes something like this: Any church naturally feels like it is founded on the true God. I wouldn't think God would have any trouble raising money, so if a church has to resort to funding from the State, perhaps that's a sign that they've affliated themselves with the wrong God.

[denverbill]

8. Freepers are idiots.

Funny thing is, they always post this snippet quote from one of the Founders which states that democracy can only exist until people realize they can vote themselves money from the public coffers. They puff up their chests and think that it's Democrats who do this, when it's Democrats who are voting money for OTHER people from the public coffers (do you know any Democratic Senator or Representative on Welfare?). The ones who are voting themselves money are the Republicans, who are borrowing money to give themselves tax cuts.

[CBHagman]

5. Don't forget these.

If five anti-Clinton demonstrators turn up as hundreds of people line up for signed copies of "Living History," it's a sign that America hates the Clintons and wishes they would simply go away.

If 100,000 or more demonstrators march in protest of George W. Bush's policies while he is making a state visit to the United Kingdom, it's not so bad and the trip was a success, after all, even if they did cancel the speech to Parliament out of fear that the president would be heckled.


Speaking up for women's rights in the Middle East is the moral thing to do, but God knows you shouldn't risk supporting family planning clinics around the world. Gee, they might counsel women on ABORTION, and then where would we be? Oh, and many of those women without clinics will die of STDs, botched abortions, and childbirth complications.

Can you tell I'm...LIVID? :mad:

[CBHagman]

6. And more.

Democracy is a good idea for the Middle East, but not necessarily for, say, Florida.

Nepotism, carpet-bagging, and fame due to name recognition only apply to the Clintons and the Kennedys, never the Bushes or Republican movie stars.

[dani]

9. LoL

I'm gonna send this to my liberal friends.

[zbdent]

10. Shouldn't that be "support states' Rights"

not rights?

As in "Support the Right, not the Left"?