I am a bad Granddaughter...and yes, this is a rant. Feel free to hide it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

Argggh. I really am at my wit's end.

My Grandma

82 years old. No major illnesses...ever. Just don't tell her that. The last few years have been really difficult. Days are constantly filled with talking about her health, her biological functions (:puke:), her medications (she was on nothing prescription until a year ago, but agonizes over things like Immodium); What she eats doesn't eat...what I eat/don't eat...the eating habits of my kids...husband...neighbor...food, Food, FOOD! I have long thought that she suffers from anorexia and been dissed by the rest of my family, until now. She "fell" two weeks ago. The reason I say "fell" is because she "fell" on Christmas Eve, only I saw her set it up. We were coming home, my husband and kids were out of the car but I was still in it. Grandma couldn't see me because the headlights were still on. She turned, to see if anyone was looking, walked into the house, sat on the riser and thumped her feet loudly on the floor. I should have come clean and told her that I saw the whole thing then, but I didn't. Flash forward and she "fell" when no one was home. When my mom got home she told her she couldn't walk so my mom called me asking what to do...because she never likes to deal with it (long story). I said call 911 if she refuses to move. The ambulance came, picked her up, ER said no bruising, breaks or anything "Which is surprising considering her age and lack of muscle"<<<ER doc commenting on Grandma weighing only 80 pounds at 5'7". They wanted to send her home but she said she was in the worst pain of her life and refused to move. They kept her for four days and found ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with her. But, she still insists that she hurts. I took her to the doctor on Monday (mom couldn't make it....surprise) and he also reiterated, "you're a healthy woman..." Nothing. I've been serving her lunch every day. Which consists of leaving the house, driving there, fixing it and watching her not eat it. I caught her giddily telling a cousin of mine that they might put her on a feeding tube. It saddens, sickens, and maddens me all at once. She refuses to use the toilet, is using my grandpa's old handicapped toilet next to the bed and I empty it. She is using his old walker etc... With small children, I can't do this. For now, my mother is encouraging her because she is going through the divorce and likes to play the martyr. God help me, with the kids being young yet, my husband getting annoyed by it, and having to listen to it and do things (like addressing letters for her because she is "shaky") for her, I'm going insane...and needed to vent. I've tried the "Let's get a Psychologist route" and it's fallen on deaf ears. MrG says it is ultimately my mother's problem...but my mother refuses to do anything and can be rather harsh with my grandmother. Anyway, it's a crappy day. I've tried the positive route...only for grandma to say,"Yes you have RA and ****(other medical issues*** but you're young...you can deal..." It's just all so crazy.

Rant over. Thanks. :(

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

1. It baffles me that you didn't spill the beans right then and there. -nt

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. I did not want to embarass her...being the enabler that I am.

I should have. But I am honest that I don't think I ever could have. :(

[arwalden]

12. Don't Actually Embarrass Her...

... just tell her privately that you read a true story (or saw something on TV news) about an old woman who pretended to fall. Make certain that the details are almost IDENTICAL to what happened for the "fall" you witnessed.

Then end the story with "I can't believe anyone would be so cruel"... and "have you ever heard of such a thing?".

Or...

You could just be more direct and embarrass her privately. Tell her you saw the whole thing and if her attention-seeking nonsense continues you'll start telling people. (Don't threaten to make a big announcement... just hint that you'll start "telling people" which implies a whisper-campaign that she may or may not be aware of... and she won't know who... or if you've told anyone.)

If not a mental evaluation... perhaps her regular doctor could prescribe Wellbutrin or some other drug for depression.

Good luck!

[billyskank]

14. She may deny it

and feign hurt that you could say such a thing. I don't know MrsG's grandmother. But this is certainly one way she could react.

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. True...I hadn't thought about that...

Perhaps I'll just run away to England. I really feel like running away from it. :hug:

[billyskank]

19. I can sleep on the sofa

you are always welcome at my flat! ;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. True...I hadn't thought about that...

Perhaps I'll just run away to England. I really feel like running away from it. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. Not a bad idea there.

Thanks. She's on Paxil right now, but I'm not sure that she takes it. She does run on paranoid tendencies,so the "whispering" campaign might work.

Thanks Allen. You're the best. :hug:

[LaurenG]

21. Aww MrsG

I'm sorry. I wrote an entire page then deleted it but then I thought I should at least tell you I'm sorry. I had a grandma like that too. I hope you can find a way to tell her she's not behaving properly. She is really acting out for attention I think. Just remember YOU are doing the best you can and don't allow her to make you feel guilty. :) :hug:

edited for a hug

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. Thanks OB.

It's just been really messed up for the past week or so. :hug:

[billyskank]

2. Aw poo

:hug:

My grandmother is being a pain for her kids too. My mum says she has become really selfish in her old age (she is now my only surviving grandparent), and also really childish if she doesn't get her own way.

She invents arrangements without telling anybody and then gets angry when her kids don't turn up like they were "supposed" to. :wtf:

And she will do things like ask my mum to come round and drive her five minutes somewhere, even though it's like a 90 minute round trip for my mum. And she won't get a taxi, even though she's got shit loads of money.

And my mum moans about all this to me. :)

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

Thanks billy. It's just insane taking care of a person I know is

fully able to care for herself and is doing this for the only attention that she seems to feel is love. :( :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Tell her, in no uncertain terms, that her health has

deteriorated to where she needs to be in a facility. If she is as with it as you indicate, she should shape up right away. If not, do it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. We actually took her to a nursing home to show her it's not "Club Med".

She is in dire need of psychological help (IMO) and I'm trying to love her while taking care of my own family and it's killing me.

[Heidi]

5. Oh, boy.

If only we could choose our relatives, huh? All I can offer you is a hug and lots of good vibes, gf. :hug: :pals:

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. Ain't that the truth.

Thanks Heidi, that's basically what I was looking for. ;) :hug: :loveya:

[bigwillq]

6. Oh Mrs. G-

:hug:

Other members of your family need to take some responsibility of this situation. It's their mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, cousin, etc..too..I don't know if there's other members of your family to help out, I mean besides you and your mother....it kind of seems like there is.

Your mother, especially, needs to get off her high horse and help her mother.


My advice, Laura, is that you need to wipe your hands clean of this situation for awhile. It seems like you started off just trying to do the right thing by helping her but now it just seems like you are being taken advantage of.

Stop helping her. Eventually someone else will have to take responsibility. If your grandma isn't really sick at all, then she won't need your help. Sorry to say this but the only thing that seems wrong with your grandma is her mental health. How could she do this to her grandchild and other members of her family? :shrug:

You need to worry first about your health, your kids and your hubby.
It's time for a family meeting to put everyone in there place.
Good luck on this one.
You know you have my love and support.
:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. You sound just like MrG.

:hug: I keep saying I'm going to back off and then I don't. I know all I'm doing is allowing her to be this way, but any time I've broached the subject she cries...and then tells my mom or whoever else will listen that I "yelled at her". It is basically me and my mom here. She lives with her. We're originally from WI and my cousins live there. My aunt is dead and my brothers are in CA. It's crazy, but I'm at the breaking point. MrG is ready to throttle my mother.

Thanks for listening. It's so very good to see you. :loveya:

[bigwillq]

16. I didn't know that

grandma lived with your mother.

Your mother then needs to take the responsibility. She needs to stop being so selfish. It's her freaking mother for crying out loud, whether there's anything wrong with her or not, your mother is the person of authority here, the one that needs to make the decisions about what's in the best interest of her mother and her family.

yes, you need to back off. The more you continue to do, the less that anyone else is going to feel the need to become involved.

Just stop doing it. It won't make you a bad grand daughter. It won't make you a bad person. Just do it.
:hug:

And if Mr. G needs any help on the throttling part....just let me know. :P :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

42. Thanks will.

:hug: My mother is another case herself...or, perhaps, it's me? hmmmm. ;)

[bigwillq]

44. NOT YOU! NOT YOU!

:) :hug:

[radwriter0555]

20. May I gently and kindly suggest counseling for you? YOU sound like you're

terribly overwhelmed with having to deal with this situation... and we're not born with all the knowledge of how to handle this stuff, so can you find the time for a few sessions with a psychologist who has experience dealing with the elderly so that YOU can learn how to handle this woman?

She sounds absolutely desperate for attention, like a little child, but with the mental capacity of a grown up... what a nightmare for you!!!

Big big big hugs... get the assistance for your sanity first, then you can help out everyone else, okay?

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. Thank you radwriter.

Her doctor is also my doctor (when she moved here I started taking her to him) and he has told her that she cannot depend so fully on me.

That's a good idea. Thank you very much. :hug:

[Ravenseye]

8. You're Welcome

Doesn't sound like you're looking for advice so I won't give any. I'll just say that if my grandmother did that I'd call her on it, because that's how my family is. I wouldn't do it in front of anyone to embarrass her, but she's called me on stuff in the past so I wouldn't feel bad. We're sort of a no bullshit family.

Ah well. Sounds frustrating. Better out than in.

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. Thanks Ravenseye.

I'll get over it, it's just craziness right now. She usually "snaps out of it" and is good for a while before attempting it again and her Doc is onto her, so hopefully this will end soon. :hi:

[mzteris]

13. sounds like she desperately needs

a mental health checkup.

Aberrant/bizarre behaviour can be an indicator of the onset of Alzheimer's or other dementia-type illness.


Or try telling her since she's obviously so debilitated, you're putting her in a nursing home. That might make her snap out of it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. she keeps saying she thinks she is losing her metnal capacities...

I keep telling her that people who are losing their minds don't obsess over losing their minds. ;)

[Bridget Burke]

49. Sometimes people DO know that their mental capacities are fading.

I can see why you are angry at her, but it really may NOT be her fault. You need family counseling--you cannot be the only one to take charge. And she needs a full workup.

My own mother had the beginnings of some form of dementia, which got worse after an attack in her home. She lived almost a year after that, in a nursing home. She was never as angry as your grandmother--but was depressed & upset when she first realized that her mental powers were failing. As a widow who'd raised 3 children herself, she was not forthcoming with her "feelings." As long as she could she just toughed it out.

My last surviving grandparent died when I was a senior in high school. And I was not "burdened" with a husband & family while caring for my mother. (She had physical problems for about 20 years before the other thing.) But, aren't there some positive aspects to having a family of your own?

[ScreamingMeemie]

53. We have had all of the preliminary testing for Alzheimers and dementia

done and so far nothing has come up. Her doctor is amazed at what a bright, witty woman she can be at times. I have discussed this with him at some length and he is in my court. She was always vital until about 10 years ago when the doctor (her doctor) that she was, in essence, killing my grandpa with all of her "medical troubles". She was hospitalized once for a psych consult when she started crying about 8 years ago and couldn't stop herself.

I did have a good talk with her today, and sat while she ate lunch...and afterwards so I knew she wouldn't throw up. But, she started crying that it hurt her stomach too much to have that much food in it. :(

Thank you so much Bridget.

[Bridget Burke]

58. Well, she does need attention...

But you should not be the only one to give it. Is there a way to have discussions with other family members? Are there support groups for caregivers in your area?

Other physical problems could affect her state of mind, too. It's good the doctor is on your side.

[mzteris]

61. I'm not sure, but

I think I'd get a new doctor.

She has a history of severe depression and possibly anorexia/bulemia - and he's not doing anything???

[ScreamingMeemie]

62. Her doctor is wonderful. He is also my doctor. My grandmother just

moved up here to live with us fulltime last year. She had seen this doctor on and off when she would come for extended visits. I only just started going in on her appointments with her and she hadn't given him any previous info and wouldn't sign a records release. He has her on Megace (used to stimulate appetites in anorexics) and also on Paxil CR for depression. He has also broken her addiction to lorazipam. I think I would credit him with a lot. There is only so much one doctor can do for a non compliant patient.

[mzteris]

51. ummm -

not necessarily.

My dad KNEW he was getting Alzheimers - something all the experts will tell you they "can't do". But he did. My mom wouldn't listen to him so he told me when we went to visit and I enlisted the help of my nurse sister and my brother (Mom would never listen to *me* - I was the "baby" lol) so they called and pretty much told her either she took him or they were going to come take him.

So she did and he was. :( (Of course then *she* took all the credit for getting him diagnosed. We didn't know it at the time, but she was starting to suffer from arteriosclerosis and was in the very early stages of senile dementia - it took far longer and had way different symptoms - but the end result was the same. )

Anyways - it couldn't hurt to have her evaluated. Then you'd know whether she was trying to be manipulative - which case you could blow the whistle without feeling bad about it - or if she's getting ill - then you could get her the help she needs. Either way the family dynamics would improve.

[ScreamingMeemie]

54. She has been evaluated and, so far, there are no signs. They've

evaluated her 3 times in the past 10 years because she will get like this and medical tests always come up with nothing. It is my belief, from seeing her now and looking at pictures taken through her life, that she has suffered from Anorexia Nervosa for quite some time. I asked the doctor and he says it is prevalent in the aged, but not always treated because of the age. I just hope I can see her through this without losing my own mind in the process. It took me months to convince my mother that she definitely has some sort of eating disorder. Thanks so much for your response. :hi:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

22. ...

I dont have any thing but a hug to offer you MrsG :hug: but I can keep them coming as long as you need :hug::hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. Hey MAHNY! I've missed you!

:hug: It is so very good to see you! :loveya:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

32. thanks MrsG!

:loveya:

it is so nice to catch you this am!

[miss_american_pie]

23. Oh how frustrating

:hug:

Is this new behavior or has she always been, umm, needy?

[ScreamingMeemie]

33. I never noticed it until my grandfather died...

...I think she had him to take care of everything then. She has always viewed herself as kind of a Mrs. Cleaver, "I did everything for my family" kind of person. I guess this is just the newest incarnation. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

24. First of all, let me start with this:

(((:hug:)))

My first reaction is "grandma wants attention." And maybe she doesn't realize how this kind of stuff actually makes you want to pull away from her. (my grandma was like that, and I resented the hell out of her for doing that, and for putting such a strain on my mom. Grandma lived to be 99, and my mom died at 77.)

Bless you for being so kind-hearted that you're there for her. But maybe you can tell her, privately, that caring for her is wearing you out, and you just can't continue doing that. You really can't, you know.

But even before that, sit down with your mom and tell her you've reached your limit, and won't be able to do any more without seriously jeopardizing YOUR marriage. Then suggest that since your mom isn't able to care for her, perhaps they need to look into some kind of assisted living place for Grandma. Not a nursing home, but a place where they can care for her daily needs.

Barring that, sign her up for Meals on Wheels, and make sure grandma sees the bill (and pays for it, if she can). If she doesn't eat, then she's throwing away her own money.

YOU need a break, sweetie. You already know that... but it's time to do something proactive and positive, for you, your dear husband, and your family. I know this isn't easy, but please do what's best for yourself. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[ScreamingMeemie]

36. Thanks Rev.

I keep telling myself to "grow a spine" where my mom is concerned...and I'm just frightened that, after grandma, it will become about her.

You are the very best. I mentioned the "Meals on Wheels" to my mom. Maybe I'll set it up myself. :hug:

[hfojvt]

59. my grandmother loved the meals on wheels

Of course, for her that lunch was her meal for the day. Now my parents deliver them (not all the time, because they travel alot too - on their way to Florida right now) and mom says all the old ladies love seeing dad (he's 72 himself).

[hippywife]

43. I have to agree with the Rev, here.

I work in a retirement center that has independent living, assisted living, and a nursing facility.

Many times, when someone is really desperately ill, the caregiver suffers greatly. If it is a spouse, many times they go before their ill spouse does. Caregivers, whoever they are, need to be aware of their limits and needs, too.

I also agree that a facility with assisted living is a good answer. She will have assistance with her daily needs but not more than she really does need. She will also have the socialization and activities with others of her age. She will soon see that there are others her age who function on their own splendidly and realize that she can, too. She will also see others who cannot and will, hopefully, be thankful for the health and abilities she is still blessed with. Or she may sit there and continue to behave as she does. Any result will still help to take some of the load off of you.

All in all, I think that would put life totally in perspective for her.

Hugs and good luck on whatever you and your mom decide to do. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

60. Thanks so much hippywife.

She was a bit better today, but still a bit much. I am tired today, which makes it worse. thanks for listening. :hug:

[Love Bug]

25. Lordy, lordy, MrsGrumpy

Your grandma sounds like she is lonely and bored and has found a good audience in you! Is there any way to get her involved in some senior activities? I know some places have senior "daycare" centers where seniors can participate in appropriate activities and socialize with their peers. My mother attended one for a short time (until her Alzheimer's made it difficult for her to continue) and she really enjoyed it. If you can get your grandma to go to one, then she and the others there can sit around and talk about their health and food issues to their heart's content!

As for your mother -- I'll bet for her own sanity your mother has learned to "tune out" a lot of this behavior which is why you have become Grandma's favorite audience/caretaker. Again, what your grandma really needs is an outlet like senior daycare. That would also give your mom a break.

There is also the possibility she is exhibiting the early stages of dementia. Any time a senior exhibits a radical personality change they should be seen by their doctor to see if there is an organic cause.

Just my $.02 worth. YMMV

[ScreamingMeemie]

37. Thank you Love Bug.

I would love to take her to a senior center. We have a great one here, but I'm afraid the other women would kill her. heh. Actually, she doesn't want to go, but maybe the time has come to force her.

Thanks again. :hi:

[merh]

26. Tell her doctor what you know.

Get the addresses for nursing homes - apartments/residences, take her on the tour to find one she likes and make the arrangements to list her house so she can afford the home - new living environment.

Let it be one of those comfortable living places with the buzzers to call the paid nursing staff and the "I've fallen" pagers.

She wants constant attention, let her pay for it at the nursing home/ complex.

You are in my prayers, Job's patience wouldn't hold up to this type of behavior. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

38. merh, thanks for being such a good person.

You've had a plateful for so long that I feel badly for venting about something that seems so silly in reading it.

I really want to push the assisted living thing. :hug: :loveya:

[merh]

45. My plate is manageable

(When it's not, I'm trying to push away from the table.)

My problems are not the most important in the world and definitely do not top the issues you are facing with your family. Your marriage and your physical health are at risk if you keep this up and YOU MUST NOT DO THAT TO YOURSELF.

Read this to understand that there are times you MUST BE selfish - being selfless is not healthy. http://journals.democraticunderground.com/merh/3

The assisted living thing is the route to go, I bet grandma will love it. Please take care of yourself. :hug: :loveya:

[Blue Diadem]

27. Maybe it's time for her to be placed in assisted living

or in a retirement home. If she hasn't always been this way and is not ill, chances are she is just lonely, anxious and seeking attention. Being around other seniors might be what she needs..people to keep her occupied instead of just sitting around and thinking about herself. She may also need anti-depressants.

:hug: for you Mrs. Grumpy. I do understand how difficult it is. Your Mom and any of her siblings should take more responsibility for your Grandma. It shouldn't be falling on your shoulders..

[ScreamingMeemie]

39. She is Paxil right now, but I don't know if she always takes them or

not. Unfortunately it's just my Mom and she can be a vicious caretaker (not abusive...just uncaring), or perhaps she's just doing what someone else said, ignoring her. I don't know.

Thanks so much. :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

28. My house mate was going through some of the same issues with her mom.

Edna is currently in an assisted living facility. Her needs will be reevaluated in 5 weeks to see if she can return to her home. Edna has a 'life-line'. However I don't believe she should be left alone in her apartment at night. :(


You are not a bad granddaughter!

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. Thanks Joan.

:hug: :loveya:

That has to be tough on your housemate. I'm finally seeing firsthand how tough adult caregiving can be.

[In_The_Wind]

52. Her mom had a heart transplant years ago.

Cherie has learned a great deal while caring for her mom. It is sad to face the fact that Edna isn't going to be out riding down the side of the street on her jazzy this Spring.:(

We placed Edna's Cherry-headed Conure with a family who will be blessed by his endless chatter for the next 25 years. I know Cherie doesn't want to hear Paulie saying "see ya later bye"or "it's hot gotta wait". Everyday we hear Jo Anne's voice coming out of Morgan's beak. Morgan was last years adoption.

[Misunderestimator]

34. No, she's a bad grandmother.

Just because she's old doesn't give her a right to be awful... and that's just what she's being. That you even care enough to take any responsibility for her proves that you're a good granddaughter. Like others have suggested... she should be given the choice of going to a home or stopping HER abuse of YOU. If she is really in such pain, she needs care.

Sounds awful, MrsGrumpy... Just wretched. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. I half believe that she is in serious pain...of the psychosomatic

sort. I just feel horrid because I am biting my lip to keep from snapping and go through the motions of "taking care" all the while counting the minutes until I can leave...and hating myself all the while. But the posting of it has made me feel a bit better. :hug:

[GoldenOldie]

46. Check to see if there are groups such as a Council on Aging in your area.

There are groups that have medical, legal, counselors who can help you with suggestions on coping with the aged.

Has your grandmother always had a tendancy to seek attention?
I have discovered through my years of experience with my own mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, father, etc., that many of the personal traits they held during their younger years seemed to become stronger as they aged. Be it selfish, controlling, mean spirited, gossips, or kind gentle and giving, unless there has been a medical reason such as dementia that may have totally changed their personalities.

There should be some help out there for you in the form of Senior Centers which provide daily activites and lunch. Many of them also provide the transportation to and from the centers.

There always seem to be that one person in the family that takes on the entire burden of caring for a family member......seems like you got the job.....

[johnnie]

47. I can relate to a point

My grandmother seems to be going through something relatively similar. I know she has some legitimate problems, but some seem to be a little over the top. I'm not the one to go there, my father does.

I honestly think it's because of they are getting older and scared. Maybe your grandmother feels the need to be "coddled" because she is starting to feel like she is no longer needed. Of course I don't know the whole background on your grandmother, so I can't say for sure. I know that mine has said and done some things that makes me tend to think she is trying to get attention and for us to pay more attention to her.

I guess what I am saying is that sometimes some people do things for a deeper rooted problem that doesn't seem so obvious to us. Getting older and facing your final days could be pretty heavy on a lot of people I would imagine.

I hope things get better for you.

[ScreamingMeemie]

55. Thank you johnnie. I really appreciate it. I am "pretty sure" the illness

is psychosomatic, but I never take a chance so we are at the doc's quite often. I really didn't want to get a psych doctor involved without her consent, but I think it is getting to that point. She was used to my grandfather taking care of everything (had never even opened the checkbook until he died) and I think she has just not been able to move on. :(

[nini]

48. ahhh.. she has become the 'child' again

Sounds very familiar. The elderly get to a point where they see they are failing and can't take care of themselves like they should. The result of this can be anywhere from telling their kids they need help to doing all kinds of dramatic bullshit.

Ultimately, someone will have to become the adult and make the decisions for her. Sounds like that's you because your mom is not cooperating. Does your mom have any siblings who should take over? If it's on you...start with her doctor and tell him all of this. Have them give you the names of social workers etc.. that can help with home care in her home, or placement in a facility. I think facilities are better from a socialization standpoint but you have to be careful which one you choose which I'm sure you are fully aware of.

As elderly people approach the end of their road some of them can get mean and nasty. They're afraid and angry. I have no idea why some can accept it all gracefully and others make everyone's lives miserable. You cannot change her but you can get her in a situation where the bulk of the care does not fall on you. It will be a pain at first, but pay off for you down the line.

I'm sooooo sorry this is on your plate right now. I know you don't need the stress etc.. My sister is a hospice nurse and has a lot of info on stuff like this as she's worked with the elderly for years so if there's a question she may be able to help you answer let me know. I'm sure there are differences in how our state's (being you're in Illinois and all :P ) handle things but overall she may know.

Take care of yourself. :hug: :loveya:


gina

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. nini...thanks for making me laugh out loud(here in Illinois).

:loveya:

My aunt passed away a year ago, so we moved grandma here to live with my mom and dad...and then my dad left. It's such a convoluted, dysfunctional mess that I should be writing a book about it. Her doctor is pretty sure she's pulling our leg, but he really does handle her with grace. With this last fall, he basically said, "perhaps you bruised something and we're just not able to see it" instead of dismissing her symptoms. I had really wished, when my grandfather died, that she had talked with a Hospice worker to help her through. There was a nun coming to the house in WI to give her communion and "talk", but she passed away too.

THanks again for your advice...and your friendship. :hug:

Tell Zomby hi for me, give him a hug and thank him for the thread that made me cry this morning. You two are the best.

[nini]

63. Geez.. what a mess

hmmmm not fun for you. Sometimes people only have their aches and pains to talk about since not much else is going on in their lives. It could also be a bit of alzheimers. was she always like this, or just worse now that she is basically alone?


the issue is getting her in a safe environment where she may get some socialization. If continues to be a pain in the ass treat her like you would an out of control kid - because that's basically what she's doing.

Regardless, ZW and I will ALWAYS be here for you and you can call on us at anytime. Don't ever doubt that. :hug: :loveya:


g

[LaraMN]

50. I think you're the antithesis of a "bad granddaughter."

Have you considered telling her you may install video cameras in her house, to "make sure she's okay"?
}( Seriously, she sounds like she needs help of the sort you can't provide alone. Bless you for your patience! I think I'D have pushed her down the stairs, by now!

[ScreamingMeemie]

57. I told MrG last night that at least I now know I am not abusive, because

if I was, I'd be in jail today. I got myself in this situation myself, by promising her that I would always be there for her, no matter what, when my grandpa died. Regretting it now a little bit. Thanks again. :hug: