What is the most important "people skill" you have learned?

[begin_within]

I guess mine would be, "Think before you open your mouth"

[Ravenseye]

1. People like talking about themselves

Pretty much everyone is vain to a certain degree. If you want someone to like you, ask them questions about themselves. The more you have them talking, rather than listening, the more they'll probably like you afterwards. People don't want to listen to what you have to say, they want to tell you about themselves.

[johnnie]

3. That's true

You ever notice how the threads about "you" seem to get 3,000 posts or so?

[LynzM]

57. Bingo.

Any thread you end with a question about "what do you think" or "What's your ______" generally gets a lot of replies! :)

[begin_within]

4. How true - "You should have heard him listen!"

[LibDemAlways]

45. You nailed it.

Most of the people I know could tell you very little about me. But I could write their biographies with no difficulty.

[LaraMN]

2. Smiling.

Useful in far more situations than the obvious ones, a smile can be:

*friendly
*comforting
*snarky
*ominous
*flirtatious
*condemning
......
Endless possibilities with that particular "skill".

[JackBeck]

5. When someone asks me a question, before I answer,

I repeat, sort of in a paraphrase way, the question back to them to make sure I'm about to answer the question I think they are asking me.

[ScreamingMeemie]

6. Empathy, without a doubt.

You can not always sympathize with someone, but you can always pause to consider and respect their situation. Pity our current administration appears to have missed this day in Kindergarten class.

[anarch]

7. people don't like it when you call them "stupid"

Also, I have learned to restrain myself from physical violence in most situations.

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

11. It's interesting you should say that.

Sounds obvious but that's a people skill I learned fairly last in life...okay, so maybe I was in my late teens/early 20s. Fact is no one likes to be told they're stupid (or ugly for that matter). I guess being a pretty judgemental person, I always thought if someone make a blantantly stupid remark, they deserved to be told about it. Maybe so, but tread lightly.

[DS1]

8. People like crap

not taking it, buying it

[Strong Atheist]

9. That is a long, hard, slog. As an introvert (with maybe some other issues

:evilfrown: ) I have been slowly getting better all my life...

Now if I could just live a few thousand years more, I might get there...

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. Two, really

But they sorta go together.

1. Humor often turneth away wrath.

2. If humor doesn't work, respect usually will.

[petronius]

12. That all people are plotting against me...

I must play nice, but strike hard when the moment arises!

[underpants]

13. It's not gay if your balls don't touch

Not really a people skill but I heard that again yesterday and have been loooking for somewhere to post it.....maybe I should have heeded your advice

[begin_within]

17. No, that's brilliant, thanks for posting it. Wish I had used it years ago.

[everythingsxen]

14. One of the most important to me is...

"Predator's glare" : It's that look you give people that conveys several pieces of information, mostly that you are not afraid to die, that you are stronger than them and you will kill them and feel nothing about it.

As a general rule, that look has avoided me more fights than I can count. Most other predators will not fight you if they think you are a predator too. It's also awesome for intimidating people. (I sometimes need to do that in my work)

[begin_within]

21. I have used that on my irritating neighbor, and he has avoided me since.

[Redstone]

15. I don't tell the useless bastards I fucking hate them, and I don't swear.

That's pretty polite, yes?

Redstone

[Syncronaut Seven]

39. I was thinking of something profound to say.

But you summarized it nicely. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

[Ron Mexico]

50. LOL

I also stopped swearing because so many fucking assholes were pissing me right the fuck off.

[CBGLuthier]

16. How to fake eye contact

By looking at people's foreheads in those rare times that eye contact seems to be required.

[ghostsofgiants]

18. Not killing them.

[skygazer]

19. How to listen

and when to shut up.

[flvegan]

20. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.

Stupid Covey crap worked for me, somewhat.

[Dangerously Amused]

25. People don't care how much you know

...until they know how much you care.



The same premise. Very true, however.

[Missy Vixen]

22. Smiling. Eye contact.

I realize this is more than one, but I went to a seminar once at which the speaker told the group, "People will tell you the truth about themselves. Listen carefully." When someone tells me that he or she is a jerk, they're not nice, or gives examples as to how they ripped someone off financially or emotionally, that is my cue to make sure I don't put a lot of energy into that relationship.

This also worked well while I was dating...

Julie

[OhioBlue]

23. for me it is a smile

Smile when you greet someone -
I don't have the best "people skills" I usually speak before I think, speak my mind too quickly, etc. But, when I greet someone, I smile and that usually makes them either smile too or feel more welcome to a group or conversation. I actually had a boss grill me one time at work b/c I was miserable at work and started greeting her with a "heeeyyy... gooood morning" in a depressed sort of way. I actually got in trouble for not smiling any more.

[Shine]

24. Be interested, NOT interesting.

:)

[Orsino]

26. Sincerity.

Once you learn to fake that, you've got it made. :+

[tjwash]

27. I HAVE VALUABLE PEOPLE SKILLS!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??

[BlueIris]

41. "Actually, you can just call me Mike."

:-)

[LeftyMom]

28. Squeeze the trigger slowly. nt

[blondeatlast]

29. When to just back away from the duckie (in other words, leave them

to themselves).

It comes in very handy when I'm in GD, GD/P, and LBN.

[tjwash]

30. I don't know why, but that just made me crack up.

Maybe it's because people are wound up a little tight over there sometimes...

[blondeatlast]

31. The phrase came from my sister, who uses it to talk about

someone being annoying with their cell phone.

She got it from Sesame Street or some Muppets thing, if I remember correctly.

[laheina]

33. Sometimes, it is best to just ignore the weenies. nt

[Deja Q]

40. I could never do that...

Oh, you mean the arrogant snots - whoops! :rofl:

[laheina]

49. HypnoToad!!

You are naughty. :P

:toast:

[Hand]

32. The left hook. nt

[swag]

34. Avoidance

[havocmom]

35. If you have gas, stand by a geezer

and look tolerant

[Nevernose]

36. Don't be an asshole. Shut the hell up. Do unto others.

I, apparently, am capable of performing any two of those three actions.

[alittlelark]

37. Innocent smiling eyes. 'Interest' in the inane.

It would take pages and pages to explain from that point.

[veganred]

38. listening or

pretending to.....:boring:

(only to those to talk a lot of nothing all of the time)

[riona]

42. some people will never get it

[tjdee]

43. It's not about you, it's about them.

However people treat you, it's about their worldview and their experience, not yours. People don't think about you as much as you do. Saves me from getting into a lot of arguments/bad feelings. The saying "it's not you, it's me", while annoying, is absolutely true.

Also, "he's just not that into you". I wish I had learned that when I was a teenager. Someone who is interested will act interested.

[izzybeans]

44. When I was living in New Jersey I learned the importance of a well

placed "Go F yourself." That was a people skill I never had until now.

Seriously, thinking first is probably the best. I'll go with your's.

[Minnesota Libra]

46. Walk a mile in their shoes before criticizing someone...but........

.....I'm just imperfect enough not to always remember that.:wtf:

[begin_within]

47. Oh... I thought the second part was going to be "...use your own socks."

[Deja Q]

54. At least it wasn't "& don't use the socks worn by Red Hot Chili Peppers"

:wow:


:rofl:

[pitohui]

48. how to make a fast getaway

people talk too much

[JackDragna]

51. People are worthless and not worth my time.

:)

[Celeborn Skywalker]

52. The art of bullshitting.

An unfortunate, but necessary, skill.

[Dem2theMax]

53. Learn to verbally disarm an opposing person.

Do it with kindness. Takes all the wind out of their sails.

[politicat]

55. Listen.

Most people prefer to talk, but if you listen, you get better information.

[achtung_circus]

56. Listening is good,

eye contact is good, the death stare is good, but the ability to know when someoine is lying probably beats them all.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the sons of bitches
I had to kill because they pissed me off.”

[Missy Vixen]

58. I wish I'd thought of this one

>the ability to know when someoine is lying probably beats them all.<

Body language is our friend.

If anyone can prevent the wreckage that ensues as a result of trusting someone who's a habitual liar, they've saved themselves massive amounts of grief.

Julie

[leeroysphitz]

59. Ignore as many of them as possible for as long as possible. (nt)

[GalleryGod]

60. LISTENing.

[Rabrrrrrr]

61. That people are really fucking dumb, so be clear and concise

when speaking - as deliberately unambiguous as possible - so that after they fuck it up and either get angry for no reason or otherwise do shit wrong, you can at least know internally that yes, you were clear, and no, what they heard is not what you said, and that yes, the problem is that they are really fucking dumb, not that you were unclear.