My neighbors are driving me crazy!!!

[ChoralScholar]

I told you about them in a thread a few months ago:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4503018

I'm on spring break, trying to do things around the house, do some schoolwork, and generally relax.

My neighbors have been at my house for three solid days.

On Sunday, they came over at 10am, and didn't leave until 12:30am. Yesterday, they were there when I got up (around 10:30am) and didn't leave until nearly midnight.

Today, they came over as soon as we got up (they saw us let the dogs out), and haven't left.

The dad sits at my laptop, and plays endless Native American music from Rhapsody. The kids (9 and 11) are unruly, and the parents scream at them all the time. Not to mention that they drive my son nuts and makes him scream (he's 2).

Tonight, I try to sit down and flip through the channels. I made it to ABC, where the old Willie Wonka movie was playing. My wife says 'leave it there!!!!! *unruly child* has been wanting to see that!' Nevermind that we own it on DVD. I concede and get up.

I go to my office, thinkint I can just work on my class, and the dad is in there watching the Dukes of Hazard on my TV, and using my computer to play Native American music. I'd go use the wireless laptop, but the mom is on the laptop searching Google for Native American stuff.

I have been run over in my own house. I got pissed, because I can't watch TV, I can't do any class work online, and I sure as hell can't rest with the kids stomping around like a herd of clydesdales. I just picked up my coat and keys and left without telling anyone.

I am now in my office at school, on spring break, simply because no one can get to me here.

My wife called wondering why I left. I told her to call me when they left, and I'd come home.

These people have no vehicle, no jobs, and no INDEPENDENCE. I used to feel bad for them because they really are disabled, but they're not helping themselves anymore.

I'm irritated. Am I out of line here? It's been three freaking days!!!!

Thanks for listening.

[maveric]

1. Tell them "No offense but we need our privacy."

And you DO!

[crispini]

2. Sounds like you need to set some boundaries.

There's a big difference between helping a neighbor out every now and then and having them take advantage of you.

[ChoralScholar]

4. That's the thing...

They don't mooch (food or money-wise); they don't borrow or beg.

They're just omnipresent.

And my dilemma is that my wife shows no signs (not even to me privately) of having had enough of them. I think she enjoys the company. I have noticed that she is adopting their atrocious parenting style, and screaming and yelling more than I would like her to.

[Darth_Kitten]

9. Neighbours should never be omnipresent.

Never. :(

You need your space, it's your home too. :(

[crispini]

10. Oooo, your wife is enjoying having them around, hm?

That makes it difficult. I'd take it up privately with your wife first. It's your house, too. I'd think a little compromise is in order if it's getting annoying.

[divineorder]

3. You Definitely Aren't Out of Line

When they come back, just don't answer the door if you don't feel like having them over. They're GUESTS, not residents. You don't owe them. Better yet, If you can go away from the house when they think they can come over..after knocking on the door for 15-20 minutes they'll get the idea. If they leave and but come back after that, still don't answer the door.

[ChoralScholar]

5. I guess I know I'm not out of line

but if I tell them to leave, I'm going to feal REAAALLLY bad. Know what I mean?

[Fleshdancer]

15. they existed and thrived long before you moved next door.

I'm sure we could all come up with a way to set boundaries in a way that wouldn't hurt their feelings.

[Skittles]

6. tell them to get the fuck out

what is so hard about that?

[ChoralScholar]

7. Leave it to Skittles

I wish I could be more like you. :)

I'm being namby-pamby and I know it. I'm just too damn nice.

Thanks for the support.

[Skittles]

12. really, that's what I would do

no offense but please get the fuck out, yes that's what I would do

[Fleshdancer]

8. I think first you need to talk to your wife

The thread you linked to was from DECEMBER! Has this been going on this whole time or just during vacation?

Either way, if your wife enjoys the extra company, then it would probably be healthier for your marriage if she went to their house to visit them rather than having them take over your home. Maybe the two of you can come to a mutual agreement on how many days/week your neighbors can come over and how many hours they can stay when they are there.

[ChoralScholar]

11. Not really sure. When school is in session

I'm not home much. So maybe they're like this all the time, and I'm just not home to see it.

It was like this over Christmas break, and now over Spring break.

[Fleshdancer]

13. What happens during Summer break? You have to speak up now.

I can see why your wife would enjoy their company. It's nice (at times) to be a care giver and to feel so needed but if this has been going on for this long (and you really should find out) then she has been taking on far too much responsibility for your neighbors.

If this is just a vacation thing, then I'm sure you would want this resolved in time for Summer break, right? Either way, boundaries need to set. Having your wife go to their house should be a reasonable compromise in my opinion. What do you think?

[Katherine Brengle]

14. Don't be nice! Say, "Get the hell out NOW!"

It's your house--you deserve to feel comfortable in your own home, regardless of your pity or whatever for these people.

Trust me--I had to kick my sister out a few weeks ago, and it sucked, but now I can LIVE in my own home without having to deal with unnecessary and ridiculous bs from other people.

Cut the chord.