If I commit to a new job, how obligated am I?

[NewJeffCT]

As I posted the other day, I got a very generous job offer that would require me to move across the state of CT. I will be signing & returning the offer letter today.

However, my wife has been waiting for an expected job offer in the Boston area that she thinks she would really love.

Obviously, if my offer is too good to refuse, my wife would stay at her current job (which she is luke warm about) and we'd move to some place in between my job and hers.

But, just this morning, I got a call from a job agency about a job a bit east of Worcester, going towards Boston. They said the company has seen my resume and are really interested in my background and they have some good positions for me and want to move aggressively.

So, my question is, am I obligated to the first job in CT if I sign & return an offer letter? While I'm sure they'd hate me, and the headhunter who got me the job would as well, I can deal with that. I just want to know if it is normal to have more of an obligation than just being blacklisted by that company & that agency?

Thanks

[KitchenWitch]

1. Is Connecticutt an at will employment state?

[NewJeffCT]

4. Yes

I can be fired with no reason... and, as one person I spoke with personally said, I can fire them for no reason, too.

[KitchenWitch]

5. Precisely

You owe them no loyalty.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

2. Depends on how you feel about bridge burning and how tight the industry is

If you don't feel like you'd ever need a job from the first company, and if it's not a very cooperative or fluid industry where those people are likely to come back to haunt you, you don't have any real obligation. Trust me, they'd fire you in a heartbeat if they wanted to - you shouldn't be expected to give the same loyalty to them.

[RedCloud]

3. It all depends...

If you are a Buddhist and have given even a hint of your word to accept their job, you cannot change your mind.

If you are generous, you would offer one of those coveted jobs a fellow DUer.

I would probably take both jobs!

[NewJeffCT]

6. I don't think there are many DUers in my field

The accounting industry (outside of fellow DUer underpants & myself) is fairly conservative overall...

[pitohui]

7. your obligation is toward your wife

lincoln freed the slaves, if you get a better offer elsewhere and your wife does too, you have no obligation to a company you have not yet worked for even one day

never heard of anyone worrying about such a thing, frankly!

people get better offers and change mind all the time, esp. if the first offer involves uprooting

[NewJeffCT]

8. well, my wife's offer would involve moving, too

And, instead of being 45 minutes away from my family & still in CT, we'd be moving close to the city that Rick Santorum thinks is the 8th Circle of Hell. But, we'd be more like 90 minutes away from my family.

But, still a most of the day flight for my in-laws to either location... if you were thinking of that.

[ohiosmith]

9. No obligation. Your wife should contact the employer in Boston and

ask if they will be moving forward with her and when she can expect an offer.

[Katherine Brengle]

10. Just don't decline in an --email--!

Great news story a few weeks or so ago...

[NewJeffCT]

14. I heard about that one...

Was that the "blah blah blah" woman?

[northzax]

11. if you are concerned

and if it's not a contract you're signing, call the hiring officer and say, "look, Bob, I gotta tell you, I want this job, but my wife may have a dream offering in Boston in a week, and I may be offered a job in Worcester that would enable her to take it. Can I hold off for two weeks on accepting this one? if that doesn't come through, I'm your man, but I can't deny her the opportunity"

see what happens. if they say no, then well, dunno.

[lukasahero]

12. You could just talk to the company...

I know, I know, it's crazy but you could talk to them and tell them you need a few days to consider the offer before signing. That way, you could explore all your opportunities without burning any bridges (not to mention turning down a real offer for a potential one). You could also use this very real offer to sweeten any possible negotiations with the potential employer...

I've been advised to take a job while waiting for another and just couldn't do it. It seemed like a shitty thing to do. I talked to the company, told them the situation and told them if they wanted me, they would have to wait a few days while I made my decision. They had no problem with it.

[NewJeffCT]

13. it feels like a crappy thing to do

and, the headhunter that found the job for me seems like a nice guy...

But, even my wife has sympathy for me that I have to endure her constant complaining about her job...

[DS1]

15. The headhunter is little more than a pimp

In my opinion, nice guy or not he's out to make money off you.

[NewJeffCT]

16. true

I've had a few that were not quite honest with me... like never mentioning that a department I was going to be working in was brutal in terms of hours & pressure.

[lukasahero]

17. I can relate, trust me

That's why I said just talk to them. They'll wait a couple of days while you pursuit this other job near Worcester. (I assume you know that if you take the job in Worcester, she can easily take the job in Boston.)

Also, if the job in Worcester is really hot, light a fire under them by telling them you already have this great offer on the table. Not only will they move quick, you can use it to negotiate better salary/benefits.

Oh and not to make things worse but, if you have any interest in consulting, I have contacts with a great accounting consulting firm in Boston. Let me know and I'll PM you some info. (This is consulting work that comes with holidays, vacation, bonus, matching 401(k) btw... Interested?)

And PS - of course the recruiter sounds like a nice guy - they are paid to be nice guys. :) You owe the recruiter nothing. I'm not suggesting talking to the company because of what you owe them. I'm suggesting it because of what you owe yourself and your reputation. Honesty works and is respected - it never hurts your career.