Questions you would ask God

[slide to the left]

Say there is a God and when you die, you get to ask him one question, what would it be?


Mine would be (as of today) What happened to flight 93?

[no name no slogan]

1. How did you design penises without laughing yourself to death?

I mean, come on, they're the most ridiculous-looking things

[AirmensMom]

2. No fair -- it hurts to laugh!

:rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

10. OMG!!!

LOL!!!!

:spray:

[riona]

35. he/she has a quirky sense of humor

[Squatch]

3. Where you been these last coupla millenia?

[AirmensMom]

4. Why wasn't Barbara Bush infertile?

:shrug:

[kwassa]

5. Why did Republicans win anything?

[AirmensMom]

13. They didn't.

They broke the "Thou shalt not steal" commandment.

[Initech]

6. How do Falwell and Robertson keep getting TV time?

[dr.strangelove]

7. dude, do you know where I can get some good weed around here

It being heaven and all, the cronic must kick ass.

[formerrepuke]

8. What are tomorrow's lotto numbers?

[slide to the left]

9. Those aren't really any good once you are dead, nt

[johnnie]

11. But I bet God would make you come alive again

Just for the askin'.

[SteppingRazor]

12. Where the fuck have you been, you fucking jerk?

What's the matter? You can appear as a pillar of fire to people 4,000 years ago and lead them to safety. You can come down in human form and do all sorts of miracles 2,000 years ago. But now, the world is turning to shit and WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU????


Yeah, I'd probably ask that.

[hfojvt]

14. hey, get real

He/she sat on his/her hands while 6 million of his/her chosen people were slaughtered and you expect him/her to do something now? Clearly God is up in the skies like Hannibal from the A-Team, saying "I love it when a plan comes together." It's all part of the plan according to some.

I would say he/she is clearly following a "no interference" policy but is still in the hearts and minds of all good people providing solace, wisdom, compassion, and inspiration, but unfortunately too many are not heeding, and they are the ones calling the shots.

[SteppingRazor]

16. Following a no interference policy?

I'd say the more obvious solution is that there's no God to begin with, but hey, that's just me :evilgrin:

And, for the record, I've known plenty of inspirational, compassionate, wise people who don't believe in God.

But that's all I'm gonna say about this, before I drag this into the R/T forum ;)

[hfojvt]

21. I used to feel that way too

but believing in God has made me more hopeful, so I will probably cling to that slim hope even long after it has been rigorously debunked, but also feel that we are not there yet.

You are lucky there to have known plenty, since in my experience compassionate and wise people are pretty rare.

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. When do I get to see the goddamn sailboat?

:cry:

[slide to the left]

17. you rule

I love that movie. I actually have it on VHS!

[hfojvt]

20. which movie?

It sounds kinda like Truman show, but it is probably something else.

[slide to the left]

36. mallrats

[guinivere]

18. Is there really no beer here? nt

[arwalden]

19. Why Do You Ignore The Sick, Starving, Suffering, Dying, And Abused? And...

... please explain your complete indifference to helpless children who are victims of rape, incest, torture, murder?

(Such a "deity" really isn't worthy of worship, is it?)

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

22. Well, I maintain that if any deity is willing to send

me or someone else to burn in hell for eternity, simply because we don't believe in them, than I really don't give a damn what they have to say anyway :)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

30. Good!!

:popcorn:

[av8rdave]

23. What if you were one of us?

[skygazer]

24. Where's the bathroom? n/t

[NMMNG]

25. Why are so many of your followers hypocritical, self-righteous prats?

:shrug:

[Richard Steele]

26. "What the FUCK were you thinking?"

No specifics, just that general question.
The ULTIMATE question of Life, the Universe, and EVERYTHING:
"What the fuck were you thinking?"

Kinda covers everything I ever wanted to ask him.
And I know the answer, I just wanna hear him say it to my face.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

27. Do you understand why I don't like you?

:popcorn:

[entanglement]

28. Are the universal constants REALLY constant?

n/t

[Crazy Guggenheim]

29. Not once you hit relativistic velocities.

:popcorn:

[entanglement]

31. Hey, I wanted to ask God

Unless of course, he's been masquerading as a popcorn-loving Lounge lizard all the while! :evilgrin:

[twenty4blackbirds]

32. Do you have Free Will?

or is it just humans?

[hyphenate]

33. Why don't you tell the truth to the fundies

and get them to desist?

[Starbucks Anarchist]

34. Can I get a refund?

[wildhorses]

37. I want to know if cloud nine is already taken...

and if it is as big and fluffy as I picture it in my mind's eye...







I want to ride on cloud nine just once in my life.

[REDKING]

38. If reincarnation is for real ...

Send me to another planet ,please.

[ghostsofgiants]

39. "Why the fuck would you create a tree of knowledge..."

"If you didn't want people to eat from it? Makes no sense to me whatsoever. It's like you had this nice little science experiment going on there, then you decide, 'Hey, let's put a fucking landmine right in the middle of this shit and watch it all go to hell!' I bet you're the kind of guy who picked the wings off of flies, too, aren't you?"

Or something like that.

[meegbear]

40. What the fuck?

God would understand the question.