Lounge Lizards who don't like cats, check in here!

[leftofthedial]

cats are smelly weird freaky jerks and I don't like em.

you got a problem with that?

kittens are pretty damned cute, I'll admit. But they grow up to be cats.



:popcorn:

[Random_Australian]

1. Let's see if the cat-lovers are watching this thread...

there's a simple test:
Joke: Q.What has 2 legs and bleeds?
A.Half a cat!


Now if we get incomparably flamed, they are watching.....















































************DISCLAIMER***************

Just so's you know I don't really wish harm on cats. The only point in the humour was the visualisation of the reaction of the catlovers to this post.

[leftofthedial]

2. half a cat!

half a frigging cat!


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:






(I think all the cat lovers already have me on Ignore.)

[NMMNG]

5. ......

[ThomCat]

9. Yeah! What she said!

[leftofthedial]

16. are you and your smilies advocating violence

against cats?

[NMMNG]

44. No.

Against people who advocate violence against cats.









;-)

[RebelOne]

3. I am a dog lover, and not overly fond of cats. n/t

[TreasonousBastard]

4. I'm gonna screw up your thread...

[madinmaryland]

8. Might as well join in!!

[leftofthedial]

18. Oh the hideous awful flaming agony

Stop! Stop! Please stop!

[madinmaryland]

38. Just one more pic for you, then I'm done!

[LynneSin]

11. Hey Sweetie

:hi:

[leftofthedial]

17. No! It burns! It burns!

Make it go away!

[TreasonousBastard]

35. Here's a cat you might llike...

[leftofthedial]

39. that's a serious animal

not like a housecat

[tjwmason]

6. I neither like nor dislike them.

They just are - and there's none round me.

I'm very much live and let live as far as cats are concerned.

[leftofthedial]

26. not me. cats are freaks. smelly weird little freaky bastards.

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY


Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY


DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762... Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes filled with what they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Alas, due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured...for now.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

[ps1074]

7. I have a cat phobia

I am a dog lover though...

[leftofthedial]

21. Dogs rule

I like most dogs better than most people.

And I like all dogs better than all cats.

[kwassa]

10. Isn't not liking cats a violation of DU rules?

[leftofthedial]

19. It's an unforgiveable sin

and the Lounge worshipers will undoubtedly excoriate me.

I'll have to wear a red "C" from now on.

[jukes]

12. my sympathies!

cats are marvelous & magical creatures, but tend to be capricious & vengeful. your days are numbered.

:scared:

[leftofthedial]

20. they have a marvelous and magical stink to them

and "capricious and vengeful" is just another way of saying "weird freaky jerks."

My dog and I ain't skeered.

[jukes]

37. ok

you're probably right. i just like 'em. so do my dogs, BTW.

[kestrel91316]

45. If your cat stinks, either you forgot to neuter him, or

maybe he's SICK!

Healthy cats do NOT stink, they have a very faint spiciness that comes from endless grooming. They are VERY clean animals.

But I think you knew that...........

[Deja Q]

13. Damn pussies make me sneeze.

I otherwise don't mind cats except I'm allergic to them. x( So for that I don't mind hating them.

:crazy:

[leftofthedial]

22. I'm allergic too

the little smelly bastards make my eyes itch and swell up and make me sneeze.

Plus they are smelly, evil little freaks.

[redwitch]

14. That's it! Cat poetry!

"My kitty has a motor
that makes a gentle purr
no need to push a starter
I just rub her fur
and when I rub in winter
she crackles with a spark
and her eyes turn into headlights
when she walks out in the dark"

Take that you cat hating cretin!

[leftofthedial]

23. Roses are red

Violets are blue
I hate your frigging cat
But I still like you


even though you call me names that wound me to the core of my being . . . :cry:

[nutsnberries]

15. here's where i stand on cats

(wish i had a pic of someone standing on a cat, but you'll just have to imagine it)

I have never liked cats very much. Their sharp little teeth and claws scared me as a child and I never really got over it. I didn't know any cats that seemed to care much about their humans and when I was about 15 I was on the phone with my best friend when her cat suddenly pounced on one of it's kittens and killed it. My friend screamed in horror and eventually we were able to talk calmly about why it may have done that but then she called me back sobbing after removing the poor little kitty corpse. :cry: As I got older, I developed an allergy to cats. I can't pet them without ending up with itchy eyes and congestion. With some cats, I don't even have to touch them, just being in the same house with them will do the same thing to me. Recently I met the coolest cat ever, though. She's just a few months old and beautiful... very sweet, affectionate and uses her paws in an almost human way. I couldn't resist touching her and I didn't have my usual reaction. She was a stray found in NYC. Best cat ever!

I like dogs but I haven't had one since my ol' mutt passed away about 3 years ago. We have a sweet little ferret. I love her. :loveya:

[leftofthedial]

24. I don't like cats.

Period.

None of 'em.

Except lions and tigers and bobcats and mountain lions and cheetahs and leopards and such.

[DrGonzoLives]

25. I love cats

They're great for practicing your punting.

[leftofthedial]

27. and for testing the lint filter on your dryer

:thumbsup:
















DISCLAIMER
Even a sarcastic asshole like me feels compelled to state that I neither advocate or practice any form of cruelty to any animal.

Are cats even really animals though?

[DrGonzoLives]

28. OOOOOHHHHH Good idea

:evilgrin:

[slide to the left]

29. I am scared to death of cats

I got my first scar from one when i was a kid. I tense up and sometimes freeze when I get close to one.

[leftofthedial]

30. at least you can tell they are coming

by the stink and the weird freaky vibe that emanates from the unnatural little bastards

so you can avoid them if need be.

[Akoto]

31. I inject this thread with puppy cuteness.

[nutsnberries]

32. i throw in some pandas

[nutsnberries]

33. :)

[leftofthedial]

40. dogs are the best

perfect buddies.

and nothing is cuter than a puppy.

[HughBeaumont]

34. Cats are assholes.

Give me a mutty dog any day over a damned cat.

[leftofthedial]

41. "Cats Are Assholes"

would make a fine T-shirt.

[lcbart]

36. Evil, Evil animals! (n/t)

[Jade Fox]

42. I'm allergic. Dislike comes with the territory.

Some of you second hand smoke obsessives should consider what your kitties do to many of us.

[hippiechick]

43. me

had a roomie in college who ignored her cat so it adopted me. and shit in my shoes. often.

and when i spent a weekend w/ a du'er who shall not be named, i woke up in the middle of the night to find his cat sitting next to me, chewing on my hair. not cool.

juuuuuusssssst not a cat person.

[GOPFighter]

46. I'm taking names!

My cat will be visiting you all later