It's Bad Joke Friday, Post em Here!

[northzax]

One to get you started...

A man escapes from prison, where he has been for 15 years. He breaks Into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's
an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time
in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your
neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering
in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong
honey. I love you too!"

What you got, bring em on! The first person to post any joke that plays off a country/number comparison will be cursed, I shall simply make a small donation to my local witches and BOOM. That means you!

[LynneSin]

1. Here's mine....

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[northzax]

2. oh, thanks for killing my thread.

great. appreciate it. may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

[LynneSin]

3. I wondered why my armpits were scratchy

:shrug:

[Orrex]

4. And my favorite

"Yesterday we lost three Brazilians.
"Not soldiers, alas, but civilians."
Said the Prez, head in hands,
"I just don't understand.
"How many are in a brazilian?"

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

5. Bush (nt)

[mwooldri]

6. Here's one I like... but you got to think about it.

Here's something to ponder over.

Now everyone knows that at a train station, trains stop.
At a bus station, buses stop.

Now on my desk, I have a workstation....