Very, very bad week here...

[benburch]

Wednesday night about ten we heard that my wife's father was in the hospital, and only a few minutes later that he had passed away.

We packed and drove til 3 AM to get to her Mom's side.

Since all of the Catholic priests were on a retreat, we have to wait til Monday for the funeral.

I just drove home to feed the cats, whose water and food dispensers only cover four days, leaving Katy in Michigan. I am going to drive back early tomorrow AM.

My wife's parents were married for 45 years, and her Mom is devastated.

Did you know that Social Security's "Death Benefit" won't even cover a plain cremation, much less any sort of burial?

And I am about totally exhausted.

How was YOUR week?

[SeattleGirl]

1. My condolences to you MIL, your wife, and you, Ben

:hug:

[LaurenG]

2. I am sorry for your loss benburch

The same thing happened to our family last year. At least my dad was a veteran so his burial plot was free. No, SS death benefits don't cover anything, well maybe the grocery bill. My condolences to you and your wife and her family.:hug:

[Bunny]

3. Sorry for your loss, benburch.

:hug:

[bigwillq]

4. What awful news.

I am very sorry. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear benburch......

I am so sorry for your loss........:hug:

[NV Whino]

6. My mother died on the 18th

Been going through similar, although probably not as traumatic, things. She was 92 and I was well prepared.

[merh]

16. I'm sorry for your loss, too, NV Whino.

:hug: If you need us, we are here to listen and to give cyber hugs. :hug:

[NV Whino]

31. Thanks, Merh

The DU community is very supportive.

[RevCheesehead]

17. I don't think you can ever be fully prepared for that.

My mom died on the 7th, and the first couple of weeks I was more numb than anything else. But now reality is hitting, and hitting hard. I feel like someone slugged me in the stomach, I hurt like hell, and absolutely nothing will take away that pain.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope and pray that you'll get through the next couple of weeks. :hug:

[NV Whino]

32. Thank you Rev

And my thoughts are with you as well.

[Dervill Crow]

30. I'm so sorry.

Losing a parent is hard even when it is expected.

[NV Whino]

33. It is

but death is part of life and we celebrated her life together.

[LynzM]

7. I'm so sorry to hear that, dude...

Much love and many hugs to you and your family. I hope that you have safe and easy travels :hug:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

8. Sorry to hear that Ben. Stay well.

:hug:

[flamingyouth]

9. Sorry for your loss

The SS death benefit is only $250, or at least that's what I got when my husband died. Cremation, et al, is way, way more than that.

[bertha katzenengel]

10. Ben, since you asked, my week sucked, but who gives a fuck. I am SO

very sorry. So sorry. I just don't know what to say. I toast your father in law, I pray for your mother in law, and I hold you and your wife in my arms. :hug: Best wishes.

[Gormy Cuss]

11. My condolences to you and your wife's family.

It is terrible when death comes without warning. No chance for last conversations or last time to hold someone's hand.

The Social Security death benefit is meager. If you're poor it's an important piece of cash but it isn't enough to pay for anything. If someone dies without leaving a spouse or dependents, there's no payout at all.

[benburch]

13. Why don't we just pay for basic burial or cremation?

Seems to me that is the least our society could do for us.

Won't put the funeral directors out of business, as people will always want more than that if they can afford it. And in any case if you die penniless they cremate or bury you anyway, might as well give the matter some dignity.

[JitterbugPerfume]

12. when my husband passed away

I was shocked to find that the social security death benefit was so paltry. I was also shocked to learn that when he retired his insurance from the company he retired from went WAY down too .I ended up paying a LOT Thank goodnesss the undertaker was also a personal friend

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

14. Free burial for veterans

http://www.cem.va.gov/eligible.htm

Don't know if this helps, but wanted to post it.

My condolences to your family, Ben.

[merh]

15. Sorry for your loss, ben. :(

:hug:

Be good to yourself and take good care of you and yours, you all are in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug:

[RevCheesehead]

18. So sorry for your loss.

I'm somewhere in the midst of grief/recovery stage myself, trying to figure out what day it is, what things have been neglected, and long-distance care for my Dad. I miss Mom every day, but some days more than others. Today was awful.

Bless you for being there with your wife and her family. It's a horribly difficult time, but keep telling yourself you'll get through it. And, for heaven's sake, let people cry if they need to cry. (Being a Dem, I'm presuming that you're already sensitive to other people's needs.)

I feel for you more than I can express right now. :hug:

[Ptah]

19. . . .

[rockymountaindem]

20. My condolences n/t

[UrbScotty]

21. Hugs to you and your wife's family

:hug:

[Catchawave]

22. So sorry for your family's loss :(

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

23. I'm so sorry for your loss

:hug:

[Redstone]

24. Get some sleep as soon as you can. And accept my condolences.

Redstone

[benburch]

25. Thanks guys!

Hitting the rack now.

[KitchenWitch]

26. My condolensces to your family

:hug:

I am so sorry.

[Sugar Smack]

27. I am so sorry, sweetie.

:hug: Mine was a little bit like yours.

[Dervill Crow]

28. I'm so sorry.

:grouphug: Condolences to you and your family.

[graywarrior]

29. Man, that is a tough week.

My thoughts are with you, and your mother-in-law.

[NV Whino]

34. Ben, I'm sorry for your loss

This month appears to have been a tough time for many of us.

[I Have A Dream]

35. Please take care of yourself, Ben. I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

:hug:

[China_cat]

36. SS pays $300 tops...IF you qualify.

And you practically have to have been living in a cardboard box to qualify.

[havocmom]

37. Strength and peace to you and yours, benburch

Know many here will keep your wife and her mom in our thoughts.