Here's a little prose for Puglover and anyone who has lost a pet.

[Radio_Lady]

The Best Little Dog In The World (1/9/88)

The Best Little Dog In The World. That's my dog Spice. Sweet Spice of Alpen Knoll, we had called her. There is no Alpen Knoll. It's just a fictitious kennel we pretended we owned.

Imagine the happiest five year old cocker you can. And smart. Almost human. It amazed me when I could give her only voice directions, ones she was never specifically taught, and she would understand. By the way she knew she was She. Or Dog as well as Spice.

This morning, Spice, I held your head in my hands. Your spaniel ears were forward over your eyes as I shook your head back and forth. You kept coming back for more. When I stopped and continued to get dressed, you sat and waited. Endlessly patient and well behaved, my golden coated little friend. The place you quietly filled in our lives was a canyon full of love.

It was certainly a busy day. I had my Saturday list. Big snow yesterday with its clean up. Errands to run. Entertainment to figure out for later in the day. But first, I would go out and size up the snow and get the paper. And you, my faithful companion would be at my side or dashing a little bit a head of me. You were becoming better and better behaved, sensing the limits I put on you with not much said.

The freshly plowed driveway and street sparkled clean and white in the bright sun. Spice, you were as always, excited by the scene. You grasped the sudden openness of these newly widened spaces and dashed forward at full speed. Down the driveway, across the street in front of our house, down another street opposite our driveway.

It had been a long time since you did that. But you were at your happiest and, fortunately, there were no cars in your path. The morning after a big snow in residential New England is pretty quiet anyway. As I approached the rural delivery Boston Globe newspaper tube, I noticed that there was someone else down the street already cleaning up after the plow. Maybe that's what attracted you.

I couldn't see you. As always, I was concerned about getting you back into our driveway with me as soon as possible to know you were OK and, yes, under control. "Come on, Spice!" I called. "Now!" I added. Sometimes when you were really flying high out there in the past, I'd have to call several times like this to get your attention. But, because we were bonded more closely than ever, you were willingly becoming more and more obedient.

I can still see your low slung body, head down, ears flying, speeding towards me like a bullet. And then, oh God, what is this dark monster bearing down from my right? Its drive engaged to all four wheels and owning the road. He never saw you. You never slowed in you trajectory. There was no time to call you off. I ask myself now if I could possibly have stepped in front of that carrier of death and halted its motion. Before I could even think about it, the wheels had passed over you.

Fearing the worst, I prayed you'd be all right or only slightly hurt as I ran to you. Your neck looked broken. I think you were almost dead then, my forever missed friend. In an instant, I knew that none of the things I worried about this morning, none of the things on my list were as important as you.

I dug through the snow, into the cold earth, and lovingly made a last resting place for you here where you have always been so happy. I'm sorry I didn't protect you better. The pain of missing you is terrible. I'll never forget you.

[NMDemDist2]

1. oh christ RL

now you have me weeping openly

I'm so sorry :hug:

[Radio_Lady]

2. We do love our pets. Will Judy, the editor of "Dog World," said --

"A dog is the only true love that money can buy." Sorry if you "misted up" unexpectedly -- I still feel sad so many years later.



www.donnafrancis.com/portraits-pets3.html

[NMDemDist2]

3. our Penny pup was just barely a year old

we knew she had a heart murmur and we had her scheduled for the surgery. 4 days before the surgery she filled up with fluid, they tried everything but the flow had reversed (the vet wrote her up for the Journal because it was unheard of in a dog that age)

we loved that little dog and were racked with guilt "Did we wait too long?" well, DUH! yes we did

it sucked so bad, my 200 pound ex MP hubby cried like a baby as he held her while she slipped away.....

I still weep for that silly little 5 pound package of attitude and love

[Radio_Lady]

4. We shouldn't endlessly blame ourselves! But we do.

How old was Penny? The toy dogs are very delicate.

Just to put this in perspective, I called one of my New York friends last year. She told me her 14-year-old son was killed by a drunk driver, and her husband succumbed a year later out of a combination of guilt and pain.

She has gone on alone with her daughter and now works for a California AIDS group.

In peace,

Radio_Lady