I got in a fight with a lady on the bus.

[swimboy]

There must have been something in the atmosphere the other day because that morning on the bus I had an altercation with a lady and I really enjoyed it.

I got on the bus and sat near the back and this large woman wearing a security uniform was having a loud and hearty conversation with someone near the front of the bus. I waited to see if this was going to be a brief exchange of pleasantries but they were in it for the duration. So I, with library book open on my lap, ventured, "Ma'am?" and got THE LOOK. "If you were to sit nearer to your friend, you could talk to each other quietly," I suggested. "WHAT!?!?!" I repeated what I thought was a very reasonable suggestion.

"YOU NEED TO STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLES BUSINESS, THAT'S HOW PEOPLE GET HURT!" "I already know all your business, ma'am, I can hear every word you say." "HE'S TRYING TO TELL ME MY BUSINESS (to her friend near the front of the bus) HE THINKS HE GETS TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" "I didn't tell you to do anything, I only asked." "WELL THE DRIVER HASN'T SAID ANYTHING AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU SHOULD GET OFF OF THIS BUS AT THE NEXT STOP" "Now who's telling someone what to do," I said, never once raising my voice.

I don't think she really expected me to keep coming back, to go this many rounds with her, but she was getting wound up. She embarrassingly rang the wrong stop and yelled to the driver that this was not her stop, the next one, the next one.

At her stop, she heartily said goodbye to her very quiet friend, made a big show of thanking the driver, and then she threw back over her shoulder as she stepped off the bus, "OK, GAY MAN!" and looked mighty pleased with herself. “Oh,” I thought, “I am so busted.”

I found it all to be pretty exhilarating and it put me in a very good mood. Riding the bus you witness some interesting things from time to time, like the woman shaking a fragment of a folding chair and saying, "Richmond Boys' Club! Revelations Fifteen, Sixteen, and Seventeen!" But that’s another story for another day.

[jpgray]

1. At least you've a perfect inspiration for Whoa_Nelly's "draw a pig" thread

[Whoa_Nelly]

16. ROFLMOA

Priceless! :rofl:

on edit:
...did you draw your pig, jpgray? :crazy: :P

[momophile]

2. you have such bigger balls than I do...

well, actually, I'm a girl so I don't literally have any. However, my point is, I always have these conversations in my head and you actually did it!! You rock! But be careful, please...

[swimboy]

7. Thanks.

Most of the time I'll just go with the flow, but once in a while I'll just plant my feet and fight the current. It is good to be careful and use some common wisdom before you light out.

[mikeytherat]

3. Always the instigator, swimboy! Always the instigator!

I have dozens of stories like yours - we should get together and exchange "Tales of Public Idiots who Think WE Have the Problem."

My latest target - those who park at the curb in front of the supermarket (aka people who feel The Rules Don't Apply to Me).

mikey_the_rat

PS
I wasn't "The Woman Who Lives on Our Alley with the German Shepherd," was it? Remember, I had a good row with her one night and, when she couldn't "get my goat," I just laughed in her face. This made her go ballistic, so I laughed even harder. She really didn't know what to do, and it defused the whole situation rather quickly!

[Shine]

4. You handled it well, swimboy.

How lame of her to call out that last remark. :eyes: What an idiot.

[riona]

11. she's a bully

waited until she was almost off the bus and her butt was safe - typical bully style

[Shine]

12. A bully AND yet a coward, too.

:thumbsdown:

[MissHoneychurch]

5. Sometimes I wish I had that guts

Sunday when I came back from London there was a man sitting next to me at the gate (waiting to get boarded). He snuffled constantly. It was annoying and disgusting. But instead of offering him a kleenex or telling him to use one I moved away. Of course he was sitting in the plane near me :banghead:

[Robb]

6. Ah, the power of the quiet voice!

Isn't in wonderful? I call it my "inside voice." Knocks people off-guard, they actually lean in to hear me and it's completely disturbing.

Old cop trick. ;)

[ForrestGump]

10. And then you shoot 'em

Just to watch 'em die

[marzipanni]

14. Apparently it's an old trick used by wise teachers

My son's teacher when he was in second grade told us at back-to-school night that the louder the kids' voices get, the quieter she makes her voice.

[RedCloud]

8. You meant argument, not fight.

But you are still the champ in my book!

[swimboy]

9. I didn't think anyone would want to read about an argument

so I used some license.

Thanks!

[marzipanni]

13. That's how people get hurt...

so we're supposed to let inconsiderate people make the rules?:(
About twenty-five years ago, when saying something that was simply the truth was not tantamount to asking to be attacked physically, my boss returned to work after having lunch at the park. He mentioned that some kids were playing really loud music on a tape player, while he struuggled to read a book. I told him he should have walked over fairly close to them and read in a very loud voice from the book for a minute or so to see if they'd get the picture.
I used to think it was fun to be bold in my reaction to something like this, now I feel more people are one minor irritation from"going postal".

[swimboy]

15. You really do have to pick your 'battles'

I just want to be brave, not aggressive.

[Robeson]

17. You mean you didn't respect her uniform?....

...hasn't this country taught you anything?....;-)

[swimboy]

18. Nicely played!

:rofl: