My Wife and I have a Deal

[Burma Jones]

I can't play any Rick Wakeman and she can't play the Indigo Girls when we're in each others' presence.

Any of y'all got similar deals?

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. Yeah.

Neither one of us is allowed to play any Rick Wakeman or Indigo Girls.

[Burma Jones]

3. You are a snarky weiner

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. Yup.

[Burma Jones]

it's a good thing.......

[AlCzervik]

2. when Top gun or Over the top are on the endless loop on tnt or tbs

he has to watch them in the playroom, same goes for me when Steel Magnolias or Terms of endearment is on.

[pitohui]

5. yes he wears a headphone when he plays his music

and i don't have to when i play mine because i have better taste

he he he

[Vox_Reason]

6. "Journey" and "Wives" kick ass.

Rick Wakeman is a genius.

That is all.

[CanuckAmok]

7. wow, that sounds like a win/win situation.

:)

[NFL80]

8. I just told my husband I am leaving him.

We operate our own business and it seems we are always working. I want to pursue my own interests and he wants to keep working. He is worried we will lose the house if we do not try to save. I think life is more important than work and after 25 years with him I want to have some fun and do something other than worry about this screwed up world. He sits and frets about the horrible state of affairs this country is in. I am 46 years old and want to live a little. He is 54 and says I will probably live twenty years after he dies. I am willing to take the car and some cash and just go for it. We run the business together and he will have to get someone to replace me when I leave or he will lose it all. Am I just fooling myself or do people really get to start over at this age. He is not abusive or anything like that, just a bump on a log. We have had a successful business for 20 years, but it needs both of us to survive. I want to get a job in a corporation where I can get health and retirement benefits, or find a career in radio. Any one with similar experience who can offer me some words of wisdom would be helpful. I can not post my own message so I thought I would try it here.

Thanks.

[Shine]

10. Wow, I just read your post, NFL80.

Good luck with these big life changes you are facing. IMO, people can start over at ANY age. I hope you are getting the emotional support you need at this time. Can you perhaps save the marriage through counseling? Do you have kids? In any case, I wish you all the best.

:hug:

Welcome to DU, btw, as well.

[NFL80]

11. Thanks for caring. nt

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. NFL80, my father (and my mother by default) are starting over at 61, after

forty years of marriage. Everyone deserves a little happiness. Good luck.

[pitohui]

18. age discrimination for women over 40 is real

good luck being able to get a job w. benefits, esp. health benefits at that age, esp. w. a history of working for yourself

that makes you look too independent and employers don't like that

i'm in the same boat and abt your same age, after 20 yrs of self-employment i'm unemployable and un-insurable except thru spouse's employer

there are NO jobs

go back to your husband and for the love of pete, appreciate that "bump on a log" for being a steady mind with a desire to save

he is correct, you could indeed live 20 yrs after he passes, and you are going to kick yourself when you're on your ass living in your car

i've seen it happen to too many other women my age

the cruelest lie ever told is follow your bliss and the money will follow, the second cruelest is the advice to just go for it

if you must dump your husband for the crime of not wanting to throw it all away and drive off into the sunset, get the job with the corporation and hold that job for two years first

if you can't stand working with your husband who cares abt you, you're not going to love being sub-manager of burger hell

[NFL80]

19. Thank You

I have my mind made up. I have to go through with this. Another poster suggested marriage counseling, and mt husband has been begging me to try it but I think it is a waste of time and money. All they are going to ell me is to do want I really want to do as I will not be happy in this environment. I will not have to live in the car because my family will always put me up in hard times. I just can not stand having to stay so close to home. He says we have to take care of the pets and it is hard to leave on overnight trips. I want to visit New York and Hawaii. He says I can go with my cousin or sister, but we can't leave the house alone. We have gone on trips before, but he always gets anxiety worrying about the birds and dogs and other stuff. We had a house sitter, but he does bot trust anyone to do the right thing. I just have to get out of here.

[mikeiddy]

20. Why don't you just try a long vacation, before you decide

Maybe get him to come along - board the dogs or leave them with your family. pitohui's advice is very sound. Sounds like you need a change of pace, but what you are proposing sounds extreme and a big risk of a bad outcome for both of you. You can always change your mind if you don't make it final now, but it may be impossible to go back if you pull the plug first and find that isn't working out as well as you had hoped.

Good Luck to both of you

[fight4my3sons]

23. My mom got her second divorce and started over in her 40's

She got a good job with benefits, car included. My step father was a great man, but like you are saying was a bump on a log. She wanted to go out and do things and he didn't. She wasn't happy and had to get out of there. She lived by herself for about 10 years. Now she is married to a wonderful man. They are like two peas in a pod. They do so much together. She is still at her job, which she loves. She is just very happy.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

[Shine]

9. LOL! That's funny. I happen to LOVE the Indigo Girls.

My deal with my hubby is that he is supposed to remember to call me by 7pm, NO MATTER WHAT, and let me know what his ETA is. He works really hard and comes home late, but our deal involves him at least touching base with a phone call.

In return for all his hard work, I manage the household: take care of the kids, do the food shopping, handle the meal prep, do all the laundry, pay the bils...it goes on and on....

It all evens out in the end, but we both work really hard.

:hi:

[Patiod]

12. No Clash when I'm home

No Gilmore Girls when he's home

[driver8]

21. No Clash??!! Why do you hate America? n/t

[Patiod]

22. I know, it's sad

I'm all for an OCCASIONAL "London Calling" or "I'm so Bored with the USA", but if The Clash could get their figurative noses under the tent, it would be "ALL CLASH ALL THE TIME CRANKED TO 11" chez patiod.

I am proud of the fact that I actually encouraged my SO to go see Joe in his very last 3 U.S. appearances (Phila, Hartford CT and Brooklyn NY). That foresight actually may have earned me my Clashfree home. Otherwise it would be Sandanista, 24hours a day, top volume, scaring the poor cat.

[AllegroRondo]

13. She cant interrupt when the Packers are on

and I cant interrupt during Desperate Houswives

[LostinVA]

14. Duran Duran is not allowed to be played near me

And I do not play Alanis Morrissette around her (except for selected songs from "Jagged Little Pill")

[LostinVA]

15. Oh -- and no sneering when I'm watching "Survivor" and I can't

sigh and act bored when "What Not to Wear" is on.... BORING!!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. Yeah...neither of us can see other people.

:( ;) :hi:

[seemunkee]

24. I'm not allowed to play anything and she won't play Elton John

She hates most of my music except Eno.

[slide to the left]

25. I can watch

CSI, law and order, cheerleader nation, project runway and any other show that i like, as long as he is not in the room. He can watch nascar as long as i am not in the room.