I am fucking pissed

[Katherine Brengle]

Okay, this might seem trite, but I need to vent it.

I talked to my husband 2 days ago. He is coming home from Iraq and will be here a week from Friday.

I asked him when exactly he was leaving Iraq, and he said he wasn't allowed to say, but that it was very soon.

I said okay, and that was that.

Until a few minutes ago, our mutual friend IM'ed me and said, "Hey, Adam's leaving Iraq today!!!"

I asked how he knew this, and he said that Adam told (not even him, but) HIS GIRLFRIEND, in an IM earlier today.

I am fucking pissed as hell--if anyone ANYONE fucking needs to know where the fuck he is and what is going on, it is ME, and no one else.

What the fuck???

[flvegan]

1. Is Adam your husband?

[Katherine Brengle]

2. Yes, sorry.

[flvegan]

6. Okay, so your husband told

1. his friend's girlfriend; or,
2. his girlfriend.
?????

I'm assuming it's numero uno...

[Katherine Brengle]

12. Numero uno, si.

[flvegan]

19. In that case, here's my thought...

I don't think anything with the Iraq occupation is definite. You're also getting third party info. Possibly he told this girlfriend, that he's "expecting to leave" or "being shipped out, hopefully" on this date. If you don't have a recording or a transcript of same, it's all subject.

I'd be concerned/upset, too though, so I'm with you on your reaction.

That said, dear, get to the bottom of the facts with your husband. Love is way too precious, especially with someone getting out of Iraq alive. Take it up when he sets foot in your home, safe, sound and certainly out of harm's way.

[Katherine Brengle]

24. Good advice--

I am calmed down now--I was ready to go truly nuts a little while ago...

I'm not sure what he said, "exactly," so we'll see -- I'm not going to make a big deal out of it unless it turns out that his reasoning was really f*ed up.

Thanks :) KB

[bigwillq]

3. Wait this is confusing-

1. is adam your hubby?
2. Does he have a girlfriend or did adam tell the mutual friend's girlfriend?

Too much drama, so little time. :P

[Katherine Brengle]

7. Okay, clarification--

Adam is my husband's name.

The person he told (actually he just left a message bc she wasn't there) is our friend's girlfriend, who lives with him, so they use the same computer.

[bigwillq]

17. Oh ok.

Thanks for clarifying. I can see why you are pissed but the good thing is that Adam is coming home. :bounce:

[LaurenG]

4. Oh Katherine, I'm sorry that happened

I don't blame you for being upset, you've gone through your own private hell over this.:hug:

[SofaKingLiberal]

5. Maybe he wanted to surprise you?

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

8. thats my thought...n/t

[Katherine Brengle]

9. Nope -- I have his arrival date -- I am picking him up...

at the base next week.

I think he didn't tell me because he thinks I am a fucking weakling who can't handle knowing that he might be in a dangerous situation--as if I haven't been f*ing dealing with that for 6 fucking months.

[GCP]

13. My thought also

He just wants to surprise you, Sweetheart.
Now you know and it's not a surprise any more - just act really stunned when he walks in the door!!

[johnnie]

10. It might make a difference who was around him at the time

From the little bit of experience I have with that stuff, they are watched quite closely.

[Katherine Brengle]

15. I just don't understand why he would do that though...

He made a point of telling me he couldn't tell me, and then decides to tell someone else who may or may not tell me, considering that I do not always talk to them AND that they would assume I already knew?

[johnnie]

20. My friend's son just came back a few weeks ago

He would tell her one thing, then say he couldn't tell her anything. Then they changed days and he could tell her, and then the next thing he couldn't say anything. This went on between his mother and his fiance'. I got to talk to him online and he told me that he was leaving on a certain date, and he hadn't told his mother yet.

I honestly don't know why your husband did what he did, I can only tell you what it was like for my friend right before her son left. Not only that, they changed his flights at the last minute and he couldn't tell her until he reached Germany and he wasn't going there first.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but please try to not think about it too much. Concentrate more on his return. And when he is home...then kick his ass..LOL. :hi:

[Katherine Brengle]

25. That's the plan, lol.

[bridgit]

11. i agree...

:wtf:

[Sugar Smack]

14. Sweetie, I am so sorry.

You must feel like you've been put through the wringer. If you want to PM me and vent some more, I'll be here. OK?:hug:

[Xipe Totec]

16. Here is one possible explanation

Your husband might have been in a monitored location when he spoke to you, and therefore, unable to speak freely.

Just offering one possible hypothesis here.

[gardenista]

26. I think you're on to something. nt

[Elidor]

18. It's all a ploy

He's going to get home earlier than he's letting on. At least I hope so, for his sake.

[Katherine Brengle]

23. I don't think so -- he'd be stuck...

His base is a couple of hours from here in the middle of nowhere. Also, they have all been advised not to drive right away after getting back because they need to get reacclimated first.

But I am simmering down now...

[smitty]

21. I think your first thought was correct, it is trite.

He's under some considerable stress and may not be thinking too clearly. Perhaps you should give him the benefit of a doubt.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. Just be glad he's coming home...

I know it's been hard on you; but his return is a time to focus on positive things, I think...:hug:

[gardenista]

27. You have had to put up with a lot of uncertainty.

It looks like you have to go just a little longer dealing with that.

Maybe you're putting your anxiety into this because it's finally safe to do so, because you know he's coming home... Just my own theory, forget it if that doesn't fit...

It's not going to be easy to get through the next week, but I bet once you see his face, everything will melt away, and you will be so happy you won't even remember this anxiety.

I think he may have been monitored when he talked to you and intended to tell you, but couldn't.

Hang in there. You will soon have him home, SAFE!

[Katherine Brengle]

28. Okay, I have calmed down now --

thanks everyone for the good vibes and the perspective.

[Fleshdancer]

29. He probably found out right then and there....

Sometimes you're just so happy and relieved by good news, you end up telling the first person that's around to hear it rather than waiting until you can tell the right person.

:hug:

BTW, I'm happy that your husband is coming home. I bet he's counting the minutes 'till he's able to hold you again.