Newsflash: Every person in the world is not married!

[Dolomite]

"I've had someone back out tonight, can you call your wife and see if she would like to go?" - that's what the message said.

Hey - do I look that fucking miserable all the time that people just HAVE TO ASSUME I'm fucking married?

In the real world Chachi, some people - even those over 40 like me - don't have a particular requirement for a wife or permanent girlfriend.

Soul mate, partner, best friend in the whole wide world - whatever - call it what you will - I know what they are:

- your manifestation of the fear of being alone,
- a confirmation that you've at least made a half-assed attempt to fulfill the wishes of those around you,
- a plug to fill the gaping hole of your sick, pathetic neediness.

Now here's the other thing that makes me laugh - just because you're over 25 and not married people will assume that you have to be gay. Ha! HAH!!! Jesus Christ, I wish I could be gay just to get you to shut that stupid head of yours right the fuck up.

Fucking gay guys got it made today - all they do is work out, flirt with drunk women, eat a sensible diet, drink, and then go and dance with more, different hot women that secretly want to try and see if they can “convert you”. If I’m lucky I’ll be able to getting around to eating a sensible meal and working out once in an entire goddamn weekend – and all that shit is just like a regular Tuesday night for them. Ha! If only I could be gay.

So... Where was I? OK. You're married? SUPER! But do me one favor; don't call and bore me to tears for 90 minutes every goddamn weekend repeating every childish criticism your old lady hurls at you. You have two simple choices in front of you Sally: Man-up and get a divorce lawyer, or wuss out and tell her that you need to go to Home Depot to buy some “grout cleaner” and then just book – either way, this shit is not my problem.

Do you remember that I was the best man at your wedding asshole? Remember when I said, "Listen to me brother: If you don't want to do this thing tomorrow I'll support you 100%. Just say the word and we’re gone." I wasn’t kidding – I need this much of an excuse (picture me holding my hand up and that my finger is about half an inch over my thumb) to say “so long” to this alleged “career” and just hit the fucking road for a few years. I could care less where I end up – that’s called: Being your own person (aka Freedom).

[RedCloud]

1. False! We are all hitched to our cosmic journey!

Book of Life, Vol 1 page 1.

[Dolomite]

12. "Book of Life"? Sorry, it's "Game of Life" my friend

and in the end - the only real valid utility it has is in using the cardboard to help seperate stems and seeds from your schwag.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Beautifully said!!

:applause:

:bravo:

[amitten]

3. I'm not married. I don't want to be married unless some guy that

is just fantastic beyond my wildest dreams happens to propose.

My life is already good. If a guy doesn't make it even better, than I'd rather just skip the guy part.

[CanuckAmok]

4. DINGDINGDING! WE HAVE A WINNAH!

Testify, brother!

Nominated.

[LSK]

5. K & R

This should be on greatest.

[billyskank]

6. They're not?

:woohoo:

[khashka]

7. LOL!

I don't want to be married either - been there, done that. It was fun while it lasted.

But it's true, after a certain age, people start looking at you funny if you aren't married or in a "serious" relationship.

Khash.

[RevCheesehead]

8. I'm already destined to be "the crazy cat lady."

And I'm cool with that. :)

[khashka]

15. Hah!

I used to tell my boyfriend that when I hit 65 I was gonna get a sex change so I could be a crazy cat lady.

And he used to say so was he! Of course, now that he's 62 he's beginning to have second thoughts.....


Well, now I'm almost 40 and I'm thinking I should speed the process up..... crazy cat ladies are an American institution! We should all do our part :)



Khash.

[hfojvt]

17. my grandfather died in 1973

and my grandmother in 1986 - on my mom's side. So grandma was a crazy cat lady for about 12 years (until she went in a nursing home).

I guess I am the weird guy walking or biking around town, sometimes with his dogs.

I never thought the old woman on my paper route was crazy, but there was no denying that her house did stink.

[Love Bug]

21. Lol! I keep telling my friends I'm one bad relationship away from owning

50 cats!

[XemaSab]

31. I'm destined to be the muumuu wearing old lady with bird feeders

who wages a long and bitter war with the cat lady next door.

[av8rdave]

9. I'm married...10 years today!!!!

The 10 best years of my life, btw.

[Dolomite]

11. Riggghhhht!

The "best 10 years" of your life?

Let me just throw that one on to the big old pile of over used cliche rationalizations.

Fire good.

[av8rdave]

13. Do so if you must...however, in my case it's very true

Had a 13 year marriage from hell earlier in life, was raising two kids as a single parent when I met my present wife. Suddenly, there she was - a never before married person in middle age, with a previously married husband and two step children. She handled it with class and grace. Became a role model and mentor to those kids (and believe me, step parenting has to be one of the hardest, selfless and most thankless things one can do). The kids have turned out great so far - oldest is in college on a full academic scholarship and is on the University's President's List, and daughter will finish high school next year. My wife has had a great deal to do with how they turned out. On top of that, she is a fantastic wife, friend, lover, confidant...I am am happier with her than the day I married her.

So...a cliche? Maybe so. But completely accurate in this case. Rationalization? I think not.

Throw it on whatever pile you want. I only hope you have a relationship that fulfilling in your life.

[Dolomite]

16. 13 year marriage from where again?

My original point regains it's diamondesque sharpness!

Thanks for your hope of my personal fulfillment – but gosh darn it – if that doesn’t sound pert near close to pity...

[Radical Activist]

10. Freedom

I love it. All the best parts of my life in the last 6 years never would have happened if I had gotten married.

[av8rdave]

18. Your point is well taken...

A marriage is like any relationship in that it can be a good thing or a bad thing. I think the point I was trying to make is that I've seen both. Just because you've been in/seen a terrible marriage(s)doesn't mean a great one isn't possible.

I also believe marriage isn't for everyone. I am still completely convinced that I would have never remarried had I not met the one I'm married to now. Nobody else could have done what she did AND be such a great mate for me.

[Radical Activist]

19. I'm not sure

your post was directed to me or not. I've never been married, so I've never experienced a bad one. I simply know that I could not have lived the wonderful life I've lived for a number of years if I had been tied down to one place with a wife and kids, no matter how great they might have been.

[av8rdave]

39. It wasn't, however....

I do think that one of the reasons that the divorce rate is so high in this society is because a lot of people get married for no better reason than they believe it's what they're supposed to do.

Marriage should only take place for those who have found just the right mate and are confident that the married lifestyle is what's truly right for them.

I admire the happily unmarried every bit as much as I do the happily married.

I just happened to have great fortune smile on me the second time around. Please pardon my blowing my horn. I figured a 10th anniversary was as good an excuse as any! :)

All the best,

Dave

[Dolomite]

23. And that's great - my tally of the ratio of super marriages to

typical marriages just went *blip*.

Seriously, nothing against you or your wonderfull recovery - good on you!

It's just... society man! They're always bringing me down!

[av8rdave]

40. I understand what you're saying - see my post above

And good on you for not being married - I certainly didn't mean to imply pity. Good on ANYONE who is happy and fulfilled in their life, regardless of their marriage/relationship status.

I guess I simply meant I hope you have that. I know a lot of people who have achieved happiness/fulfillment without marriage. A lot more life wisdom there than someone who has trapped themselves in an unhappy one (been there, done that, will own up to my own stupidity back then).

Regards

[johnnie]

14. Good post

:thumbsup:

[smirkymonkey]

20. It's not just men who feel that way about marriage.

More and more women do too. My biggest nightmare is having a husband and kids and all the domestic responsibilities that go along with it. I like being alone and doing whatever I please, whenever I please. Although the pressure is even WORSE if you are a women - people think that you are gay or worse, that there is something horribly, horribly wrong with you because "All REAL women want to get married and have kids" :puke:

That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to meet someone special, I just see no reason to enter into the institution of marriage - unless of course, it would mean citizenship in another country ;)

I don't know a lot of happily married women, which is partly why I don't feel the need to walk down the isle. I don't want to end up like them - with someone, but still feeling alone and having all the bullshit and baggage that goes along with being legally attached to another person.

Any other women feel this way?

[Redstone]

22. Well, Chachi, here's a fucking news flash for YOU:

Mrs R is not any of your snotty assumptions (- your manifestation of the fear of being alone,
- a confirmation that you've at least made a half-assed attempt to fulfill the wishes of those around you - a plug to fill the gaping hole of your sick, pathetic neediness.

Sorry to intrude on your worldview. You can go back to being bitter now.

Redstone

[Dolomite]

24. Sez you Fonzie!

[enigmatic]

25. I had the double-whammy for awhile

Single and child-free by choice; to a good chunk of my co-workers I was the equivalent of Leper in their eyes because I had no interest in changing that in any shape or form.

Now that I'm married, a good chunk of people still look at me (and my wife) as "weird" because we're child-free; it doesn't bother either of us anymore.

And listening to those that are married (and those in relationships) constantly ripping on each other to others just to do so is something I avoid at all costs, so I'm w/ you on that..

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. "do I look that fucking miserable all the time"

perhaps you need to look in the mirror to find out just why it is you hold such a pigheaded attitude. I won't call you if you don't call me to tell me how wonderful being single is when it appears you may have brought it upon yourself with this bitter attitude. Being your own person also means not judging others by their actions...you seem a bit too upset on this subject for me to believe that your single status doesn't bother you.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

27. I could give a rat's behind....

if someone is married, single, gay, bi, poly, asexual, or whatever. It's their damn business. Although dude, I think your defensiveness and insults shows some serious freakin' issues!!!

Signed,
Happy in my pathetic neediness :eyes:

[MissMillie]

28. I think you mean to say "not every person in the world is married"

Your original post sounds more like you're saying that everyone in the world is single.

</grammar>

[Book Lover]

29. Hey, as long as you understand WHY you're not married

And with this screed out of your system, maybe now you do. Chachi.

[Skittles]

30. as someone who has never felt the need to own someone

thank you

[ScreamingMeemie]

57. With all due respect,I have never felt owned or felt that I owned MrG...

I'm still me. This thread is the nutty ranting of a person who appears to have deeper seated emotional problems than he/she may realize

[azmouse]

32. Not every person has children either

I don't and yet I get comments about "my kids" all the time.... What school do "my kids" go to? What kind of activities are "my kids" in? What??? When have I ever mentioned that I have kids? Why do people assume that everyone has kids? There are many reasons why someone is childless. I'm infertile, if anyone cares. Tomorrow will be the anniversary of losing my only pregnancy so you can see the issue is painful for me.
I even get wished a Happy Mother's Day by people who have never seen me with kids or heard me talk about kids!!

[miss_american_pie]

33. I'm sorry for your loss

I have an m/c anniversary this weekend. :hug:

[azmouse]

35. Thanks...

As you know also, it's among the toughest things a woman can go through... :hug:

[miss_american_pie]

36. Yeah, and lonely

[Shine]

56. Hugs and love to you, too.

:hug: :loveya: I'm sorry for your loss...

[miss_american_pie]

61. Thank you, Shine

:loveya:

[Ariana Celeste]

37. hey

:hug: I'm sorry.

[av8rdave]

42. Very sorry for your loss n/t

[Shine]

55. Hugs and love to you, azmouse.

:hug: :loveya: My heart goes out to you...

[azmouse]

58. Thanks, Shine. You're a sweetie.

:hug:

[Ariana Celeste]

34. Wow.

Yanno, just because you don't feel you require a significant other doesn't mean that those of us who have them are pitiful. There are plenty of couples that probably shouldn't be together, and there are plenty who do great together. Just like it's none of their business whether you're with someone, it's none of your business about the rest of us.

But honestly, this sounds to me a *lot* like Projection. So who is really the pathetic, needy, lonely one? :eyes:


On edit: I just want to say that I know there are many DU'ers here who choose not to be married or in permanent relationships- everyone is different- I applaud them for being true to themselves. But damn, I don't think I've seen any of them post something like this.

[MadHound]

38. Real big broad brush there pal

Why are you assuming that every single person who is married is either afraid of being alone, bowing to peer pressure, or filling a void in their lives? Oh, and above all, you are assuming that everybody who is married is miserable.

Not everybody who is married fits any of those descriptions, so why are you painting with the broad brush. Why are you so angry at those of us who are married? If you don't want to be married, great, fine, don't be married. I don't care, and quite frankly will either like you, or dislike you on criteria that is completely divorced from your marital status.

But your little rant here wafts the stench of a number of things, anger, jealousy, longing, oh, and did I mention anger? What are you so angry about?

Why can't you just be happy with people the way they are. I'm happy for you that you're unmarried. I'm happy that I'm married.

Why not just be content to live and let live?

[Dukkha]

41. Here's to the crazy cat ladies in all of us!

[tigereye]

43. some of us happily married people

ARE our own people.

Some of us like being with the same person, married to the same person, and having kids.

[no name no slogan]

44. Goddamn. Who pooped in your Trix this morning?

Bitter much?

I have been single most of my life (27 out of 36 years), and was married for nine years before I got divorced last year. I am much happier since the divorce, but marriage is not what made me miserable.

With such a stellar attitude, I'm quite sure you will remain single for as long as you desire, Chachi. I don't see any Joanis darkening your door any time soon.

[Name removed]

45. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RevCheesehead]

46. ROFLMAO!

:rofl:

[Redstone]

47. Thank you for saying that. I tried to, but more politely.

The OP didn't get it.

redstone

[nini]

50. *snort*

perfect reply.

:thumbsup:

[Celeborn Skywalker]

52. Excellent reply!

:applause:

[EstimatedProphet]

48. You know what?

I just brought my wife home from having major surgery, and I haven't had one bit of trouble with wanting to care for her. The reason is: I love her. That's it.

It isn't my manifestation of the fear of being alone.

It isn't a confirmation that I've at least made a half-assed attempt to fulfill the wishes of those around me.

It isn't a plug to fill the gaping hole of my sick, pathetic neediness.

Just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm any of the things you claim. It also doesn't mean that I run around trying to push people into relationships to feel better about myself. If you know people that do things like that, why not simply stay away from them, rather than try to claim that everyone on Earth not doing things your way is pathetic? I'm not the people that your talking about, and I don't like being held responsible for them any more than I like being held responsible for Freepers.

BTW tell that story about how gays have it made today to the guy from Wyoming that was crucified on a barbed wire fence a few years ago-I'm sure his remains will find it a knee-slapper.

[no name no slogan]

51. Bravo

:applause:

[nini]

49. I just can't imagine why you're not!!

I'm thinking there's got to be millions of women out there that would want to be around someone with your attitude and temperament.

Get a freaking grip or find some new friends. :eyes:

[ForrestGump]

53. If this is tongue-in-cheek, it's funny

If it's serious, it's sad.

Sounds like you haven't been married. Well, I have been, and it gave me way more cause for bitterness and cynicism toward the whole institution of marriage than you could ever claim. I'm a solitary type, by nature, so I resigned myself to just staying alone forever after the marriage went south. The funny thing is, though, that even I realize that not all marriages are like the one I endured.

Yes, your post has a point. But it misses a far bigger one, obscured, no doubt, by your thumb tweedling atop your nose as you condemn something that can be at turns fully deserving of condemnation and just as easily above it. Marriage, or similar, can be the best thing in the world. It can also be a living hell. Having had the latter, and having become very hostile to the idea of ever being married again, I now realize that one bad marriage does not predict another...I'd do it again.

I wish you well with your 'freedom' (aka embittered loneliness)...I doubt you could be much more into the idea of freedom than I am, or value it as deeply, and, if you were, you'd know that freedom has little to nothing to do, necessarily, with solitude.

[Celeborn Skywalker]

54. Well, aren't you special??

I'm single and love it, but I would not object to someday being married, nor do I judge those who are happily married right now. Stop being such an asshat.

[Shine]

59. Dang, Chachi needs to lighten up. n/t

[Sugar Smack]

60. I've seen both- people living in unholy acrimony

who are really insecure, and people who have retained their individuality. The latter complement each other very well, and I marvel at their relationships.

[Midlodemocrat]

62. I am going to lock this.

Flamebait.

Thank you.

DU Moderator.