Is living together the same as being married?

[yvr girl]

Poll question: Is living together the same as being married?

Just curious on your opinions.

Would you only live with a person you'd be willing to marry?

[GOPisEvil]

1. I wouldn't live with someone to whom I was not committed.

To me, they're about the same, except for legal status.

[yvr girl]

3. Hey you!

Long time no speak.

:hug: Just because you are a stand up guy.

[GOPisEvil]

5. How are ya?

:hug: Thanks for the hug. I don't know about stand-up, but I try...

[yvr girl]

15. I think you're pretty stand up

I'm OK.

[no name no slogan]

2. No, marriage is bigger

It's telling the entire world that you are with this person in the eyes of everybody-- your friends, your community, your government, etc.

If cohabitation meant as much as marriage, you would not see gays fighting for the right to marry.

I myself have only lived with one other person, and that was my ex-wife for a year before we made it legal. I would only live with somebody again if I planned on getting married eventually.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. I think living together is a preliminary step to marriage....

I think it should be required. Don't get married to someone you haven't lived with. That's a road to divorce. What if you can't live with that person?
Skip and I lived with each other on and off for several years. Nothing has changed between us now that we've gotten married. People think it's ridiculous, but I swear, nothing has changed but my name.
Duckie

[AlanAdam]

10. Divorce statistics ...

I'm not certain about this, but I read or heard somewhere that the divorce rate for people who had lived together before marrying is higher than the rate for those people who didn't. Can anyone confirm or refute?

[yvr girl]

14. I've heard that too

But I can't point to a link.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

16. I heard that, but I think it's codswallop...

Something done by fundies to keep us from all living together in "sin."
Duckie

[Left Is Write]

12. Living together should be required?

Not doing so is a definite road to divorce?

My sister and her husband, happily married for 14 years, did not live together beforehand. My parents, happily married for 46 years, did not live together beforehand. My husband and I, happily married for 8½ years, did not live together beforehand.

I did live with a significant other - my oldest daughter's father - for some time, had two wedding dates broken, did not marry him, and have been split from him since the late 1980s. Had we been married, we would almost certainly have divorced.

Living together isn't a guarantee that a marriage will work. Not living together is by no means a "definite road to divorce."

[YellowRubberDuckie]

17. OK...I changed the definite thing.

But I think it's a good idea.
Duckie

[CottonBear]

6. You don't have to divorce someone when you live together & break up. n/t

[gardenista]

7. After living together, and getting married, my own experience is

that it's different. and better.

[Left Is Write]

8. I've done both, and I would not consider them the same thing.

I don't speak for anyone else's living arrangements/marriages or how they feel about them.

For me, they are not the same.

[tigereye]

9. no, although I think there are similarities

I think making the committment to marriage is quite different for many people as opposed to living together, based on my exp. of having done both. I do think cohabitation teaches you a lot about your eventual spouse, though. It's a pretty good road test.

But having kids with someone, that's the real challenge. I think that is much harder than being married with just the two of you. There is a lot more responsibility. It's fascinating to consider all the stages of a relationship and the changes you go through, too.

[azmouse]

11. I lived with my husband before marriage.

And it's hard to explain but things felt different after we got married. Life got better.

[LSK]

13. its what you want it to be, dont let society boss you around