So, I found my significant other's cell phone bill.....

[Inspired]

and I counted over 220 phone calls made to and from one phone number. If this phone number belongs to someone of the opposite sex, should I be paranoid? Or is it possible to call someone that many times in one month and not have an emotional relationship with them?

I guess I just don't like talking on the phone that much myself.

[XemaSab]

1. That's a little wierd, yeah

I'd certainly investigate further

[Inspired]

7. I think it is weird and very obvious

just wanted other opinions.

[bigwillq]

2. So obviously

you don't recognize the number.


220 calls to the same number is a lot.

The only person I call that many times a month (and not even that much) is my man.

Hmmm...


What type of profession is the SO in?

[Inspired]

5. No, not job related calls

They range anywhere from 6:30am to 1:00am.

[bigwillq]

10. Hmm...

doesn't sound good.

It really could be his jump off.
I would really so some PI work on this one.

[AlienGirl]

3. Is it your SO's mom? An aunt? Grandma? Cousin?

I know Xen racks up lots of calls to his family, and I make a ton of calls to my kids, so that is my immediate guess.

Tucker

[XemaSab]

6. Any person who calls their family more than twice a day is a freak

[fishwax]

111. i think allowing twice a day is quite generous

but maybe that says more about my family/in-laws than anything else :rofl:

edit: I love my family/in-laws :D

[XemaSab]

113. I was thinking of extreme contingencies:

Young children seperated from parents, elderly mother living alone, critically ill siblings....

Some combination of the three....

But yes, I was being generous there....

[Inspired]

9. Nope, not family

it is definitely a 'friend' of some sort.

[LeftyMom]

4. 220 calls?

There's some kinda obsession going on there. The only people I can think that anybody'd call that often are thier love interest and thier dealer.

[Inspired]

11. Not since junior high

did I ever call anyone that many times a day. I agree that it is obsessive. I feel I don't know the guy at all anymore.

[bigwillq]

12. How long have you been

with him? :shrug:

[petronius]

8. Seven calls a day and you're not aware of them

implies that this contact has been deliberately hidden from you. I'd want to know more...

[Inspired]

14. I agree and I am trying

My investigative skills are usually pretty good. Unfortunately there isn't a good way to research the owners of a cell phone. Landlines are easy but this is a cell phone number.

[petronius]

15. You could call the number and ask for some made up name...

[tjdee]

23. There is, but I think you have to pay for it.

http://www.abika.com/Reports/FindPhoneNumbers.htm

[Inspired]

56. Should I confront

the 'other woman' if I find her? Is that too juvenile or is it deserved when someone has that much contact with another woman's husband?

[Mutley]

105. No, the other woman is irrelevant.

What I mean is that your SO deserves all the confrontation if this turns out to be what you think it may be. There really isn't a point in confronting the other woman unless she is a friend of yours or something (in which case you would know the phone number).

[fishwax]

112. yes n/t

[tjdee]

13. 220 calls and you don't think it's emotional? TWO HUNDRED TWENTY?

If it's over 200 calls, obviously there is some kind of relationship there. And it's probably emotional. They're talking A LOT.

But is it *romantic*? That's the question.

Also, what are the rest of your partner's calls like? Are there lots of calls to lots of people? Or is it all that one number?

I hope it's not what most of us are thinking it is. :hug:

Btw--I am very much against snooping unless you are married. Happening upon someone's bill is one thing, but reading through it, looking at numbers...I'd be kind of irritated if he/she were me...but then, if I had something to hide I wouldn't keep my phone bill around.

[liberaltrucker]

16. Precisely why I have an online cell bill

:evilgrin:

[amitten]

96. If it's something you have to hide, maybe you shouldn't be doing

it.

Just sayin'...

I think people that cheat are the lowest of the low.

[file83]

115. You maybe a trucker, but you sound like a fire fighter as well...

My friend just became a fire fighter and he said that LOTS of the guys have 2 cell phones - one their wife knows about, and one for philandering - the 2nd cell phone bill goes to a PO Box so the wife never get's suspicious. He's not married, though he has a girlfriend who is moving in pretty soon...

It's a cruel fucking world, love is.

[Inspired]

18. Does emotional equate to romantic?

I don't know the answer to that. That is my ultimate question. There is no other number called with the same frequency....good grief....how would a person work if there were?

So, you are OK with snooping if someone is married? I am married. My significant other is my husband of almost 24 years. I had a sneaking suspicion that I should look based on a few other behaviors.

He says it was inappropriate and excessive and understands why I am pissed. But, he says it isn't what it appears to be. I don't know if I should believe that or not. Just trying to get objective opinions from people who don't know me or our situation.

[tjdee]

30. I'm sorry if I came off as snarky...

because I know what it can be like (although I've not been married).

Even if he is being completely truthful, he is not calling YOU 220 times a month--and is calling this person. That alone would launch me into the stratosphere, whether it is romantic or not. So you deserve to be angry, and you deserve to have your curiosity satisfied. (And I do think that because you are married. Marriage is a special case scenario IMO).

I'm so, so sorry that you are going through this, and I hope for the best for you. :hug:

[Inspired]

38. Thanks for you kindness

I agree that marriage is a special case scenario, too. The funny thing is....I don't want him to call me that many times in a month. Who would? It is just bizarre.

[bigwillq]

17. Could you please explain

how you "found" the cell phone bill.
Thanks in advance.

[Inspired]

22. Easy...I found it in the mailbox.

And I'm not ashamed at all.

[bigwillq]

25. And you just opened it?

:shrug: Was it addressed to you? :shrug:

[Inspired]

26. All is fair in love and war

[bigwillq]

27. I would never open

my man's mail and he should never open mine.

I feel you're in the wrong on that.

What is the state of your relationship?
How long together?
Do you fight a lot?
Is he secretive in other aspects?

[Inspired]

29. My bad then

[bigwillq]

33. Are you going to answer my questions?

:shrug:

[tjdee]

35. She says upthread that they've been married almost 24 years.

24 years of marriage, you're likely to open the bills that come into your home, for whatever reason. To see if your SO is getting jacked with fees. To see if it's more than your bill. To see if it's worth switching plans.

I am very, very against butting into someone else's stuff, but after being married I think most things are community property, especially things as mundane as phone bills.

Plus, if you're doing something you don't want the spouse to see, at least have the decency/ability to hide things so you don't get caught!

[bigwillq]

36. Thanks for the info.

I didn't see the above mentioned post.
Sometimes I don't read everyone else's thread.

That makes a difference. 24 years. That's why I was asking those questions to get a better idea of the situation.

[tjdee]

44. I didn't mean to butt in, btw.

For some reason I guess I deleted that part of my post. Oops!

Yes, I agree that the 24 years part makes the difference, I kind of wish Inspired had put that info in the main post... the situation becomes a different sort of animal with that info, IMO.

But then, it's her thread, she can say whatever she likes. (Sorry for talking about you like you're not here, Inspired.)

[bigwillq]

45. That info. would've helped.

I was just trying to gauge the situation.
If it were a short term thing, then it'll be a lot different than long term.
Now I am concerned for Inspired. I hope it's not worse case but it's looking that way.

[Inspired]

49. Thanks for your concern

I didn't mean to leave out important details. You don't need to worry though. I think I know what I need to do. It's just not that easy when you have shared your life with someone for most of your own. There's a house with a large mortgage, there are kids although they are both over 18 years old, there are pets, there are debts, and there is a lot of history. Not to mention the trauma of finding out that everything you knew was true may actually be a lie.

[bigwillq]

51. Have you confronted him

over this yet? :shrug:

[Inspired]

59. Yes but he denies

although not very convincingly.

[bigwillq]

60. So what did he say

the number was? and why did he call it over 200 times? :shrug:

[Inspired]

63. He said he is embarrassed

and can't explain why he would call anyone that much. He said he knows it was inappropriate and excessive. He understands why I am pissed but he says it isn't what I think it is. He says he just talks to her about life, work, shit like that. Funny, I thought that was my role in his life.

[bigwillq]

65. Well that just sucks, doesn't it.

:hug:

I am sorry you are going through this situation.

My dad has a few woman friends that he talks to on the phone and goes out to eat with but as far as I know, it's not romantic. And I believe my dad.

But 220 times is a lot. I hope it's not what we're all thinking.
Even if it's not, it's weird that he would depend on this other woman to talk to that many times a month.
That's a problem within itself.

I hope things can be worked out. If it's worth it, that is.

You guys need to do some serious talking.

Good luck.
:hug:

[Random_Australian]

71. ...

"He says he just talks to her about life, work, shit like that" perhaps he is talking to a psychoanalyst? Those with something wrong in their head rarely share but sometimes seek help, you see.

[mac56]

88. Late at night?!

Puh leez.

[Random_Australian]

93. ? Of course? When else?

You aren't being sarcastic.... neither am I..... seems we have very different ideas about when a person is stressed, so a ? and a :shrug:.

[Inspired]

98. No, not a therapist...

I wish it were.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

82. That's emotional infidelity, then

If it's as innocent as he says, why has he concealed the calls from you?

I once had an SO who had a lot of female friends, but he never concealed them from me and always asked if I wanted to go along when they planned stuff together.

At least, that was how it was as long as our relationship was solid...

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

87. Where is he away from you that often that he can make those late nite

calls? Does he travel a lot? (uh oh) "Work long hours"?

[hholli11]

118. Honestly, I think you should start with a little retail therapy...

and then, you should talk to the other woman. She might not even know about you. If I were dating a guy and he called me 220 times in a month, I certainly wouldn't think he was married. Your husband's apology seems to be a lame attempt for him to at least conceal you from her, by just apologizing profusely. I have a bit of experience in this matter. I was once 'the other' woman. Here is my story:

I met Bruce in the fall of 2002. It was magic. In. An. Instant. And we were practically inseperable from the get go.

He called me. A lot. I called him. A lot. He told me he wanted to love me forever, the whole nine yards. I said the same things back. He met members of my family, and would speak to them on the phone too, along with my friends.

I would have sworn on the Democratic Party, my country, my life, and my pretty blue eyes that this was indeed my soul mate. And I can't express this enough: I had no idea this was a married man.

He lived about 45 minutes away, and would always come to me (I live in baltimore). It was not until Christmas Day 2003 that I found out he was married, AND had a daughter. He SWORE to me that the reason he didn't tell me is because he was in the process of getting a divorce. He used his continual contact with me as a reason to subtantiate his claim, and I believed him, because I loved him.

He began having me over his house as further proof that he was really a separated guy. There was remnant girly stuff, a flower picture on the wall and the like, not female STUFF, ya know? shampoos, hairbrushes, clothes, nothing like that at all. Besides that, at that point, I was over too often. No woman was living there, and certainly not with the frequency of his contact.

When his house went on the market, he used that as proof he was indeed, getting a divorce. We even looked for houses together!!! When I found out I was pregnant, he proposed. I was overjoyed. He had an answer for everything. EV-er-y-thing. His marriage was a rouse for her grandmother, and they agreed to stay out of each other's lives until she died, and then they would seek a divorce. The grandmother died, and now the divorce was being had, and you have to be separated for a year, yadda, yadda, yadda.

After the house sold, and it was moving day, he called me at 6:30 (He usually called me every morning when he first got to work to tell me that he loved me. He would say that he wanted to be the first one to talk to me everyday, and ususally was) and told me that he was fired. He then said that he was going to demand a letter of recommendation (huh?). I somehow knew then that the jig was up, and I had been lied to for a very long time.

I wasted absolutely no time and called his landline, only to hear a lady pick up the phone. It was his wife Jean. I told her who I was, and she was indeed surprised. Turns out she had moved to upstate NY in order to try and re-establish them closer to their respective hometowns. It was while she was doing that that he pursued me. She then said that he had done this before, when they lived in NC (apprarently they have skipped all over the country for her career at a department store) and that she didn't care as long as this whole thing 'fades into the woodwork', and SHE doesn't have to be embarrassed about it. She said that 'her family' (meaning Bruce) would not give one dime to support our child, that she would do everything she could to 'hide her assets' (huh?) and that I would never see him again. I was shocked. I told her that one cannot erase a baby

That's when the the provebial shit hit the actual fan.

It goes on, but understand, she might not know about you.

I cerainly didn't know about Jean.

[AlienGirl]

40. Also, you'll open it to *pay* it, if you share bank accounts

I don't think there's anything weird about opening bills addressed to your SO.

Tucker

[liberalpress]

117. My wife and I routinely open each other's mail...

... we've been married almost 35 year's... I honestly can't think of a reason why not

[seaglass]

37. No, You're not bad to open a BILL if you're married to the person.

n/t

[bigwillq]

41. I agree.

I didn't know OP was married. I didn't read all the other posts in this thread.


But seeing that she is married, it changes the situation, imo.

[UCLA02]

72. She said they've been married 24 yrs

They've seen the brown stains in the underwear, they've held eachothers' heads while vomiting.

Opening a cell phone bill is not any kind of undue invasion as I see it.

[Kare]

100. opening your SO's mail...

depends on how each of you feel about it
I open all the mail that comes to my house
unless my husband gets to it first and is curious

we open each others mail all the time.
The only exception being cards (b-day etc)

It all depends on the relationship.

[Mutley]

107. Some people are fine with that.

My ex and I opened each other's mail all the time.

[GOPisEvil]

28. Um, opening someone else's mail is illegal.

[Inspired]

31. I wish calling another woman 200 times was too

[GOPisEvil]

34. Well, I hope he doesn't ever open your mail.

It seems to me you don't have much of a relationship because you obviously don't trust him.

[bigwillq]

39. Did you read this post?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4966946#4967001


It changes the situation, imo.

My parents open each other's mail, esp. the cell phone bill.

For some reason, I thought the OP was younger.

[Inspired]

42. He wouldn't find anything if he did

that is because he CAN trust me. I OBVIOUSLY have reason right now to not trust.

[GOPisEvil]

43. Ahhh...I've gotten more information.

24 years together changes things. Apologies for jumping to conclusions.

[Inspired]

47. Oh, and he voted for Bush too

I hope that cements it!

[GOPisEvil]

50. Oh, now that tears it!

[Inspired]

54. Another important detail left out!

2004 was hell for me too.

[UCLA02]

81. I would think GOPisEvil would feel that as the tipping point!

But was the person he is calling 220 times/month ALSO a Bush voter??

;-)

[Kingshakabobo]

70. For that, smother him in his sleep.

(just kidding)

[amitten]

97. Well, he has clearly given her reason not to trust him. n/t

[UCLA02]

77. Um, married 24 yrs, I believe deserves deference...

...in the face of any such technical violation of law.

[GOPisEvil]

19. I don't think I've called anyone 200+ times over YEARS.

Something is up...

[DS1]

20. Is it his work number?

[iconoclastic cat]

21. Try this: Reverse Cell Phone Number Lookup Directory

Okay, this will tell you the carrier and city of the caller (it ID'ed me!):
http://www.reversephonedirectory.com/

I'm doing some more digging...hang on...

[Inspired]

58. I asked this above but should I confront

the other woman if I find her? I want to have some dignity in this matter but I think it is disgusting for a woman to have this much contact with another woman's husband. I want to tell her off but I don't want to regret it later.

[LeftyMom]

62. The other woman may not know he's married

but even if she does, he's the one who betrayed you. The issue is between you and your husband and it's about his violation of your trust rather than what's going on with the owner of that phone number. Your issue is with him. Ignore her.

BTW, I hate to have to state the obvious, but having been in this situation myself I didn't think of it until somebody else reminded me. Once you confirm what's up, you'll need a drs visit and a screening to make sure he didn't bring anything extra home.

[Dora]

66. I agree with LeftyMom.

Your problem is with your husband. Confronting the other woman will only serve as a distraction from dealing with your husband and the damage that's been done to your marriage. Leave her out of it. If he chooses to continue the relationship with her, that's his prerogative, but for you to confront her and drag her even deeper into your shared business would be a mistake.

Trust me.

[iconoclastic cat]

67. I wouldn't. Not when you're hot, at least.

[tjdee]

68. IMO, she's irrelevant. Plus, you don't know what he's telling her.

IF this is that kind of situation, you're going to be rightfully furious. I don't think you should confront her, only because 1)what good would it do, and 2)she's not the one married to you.

Also, she's not likely to just sit there and listen. She may tell you things you do not want to hear (i.e., what he tells her about you and your marriage). I don't see it turning out well.

[Inspired]

75. OK, thanks

I guess I really don't need to know who she is, what I need to know is who she is to my husband. I think I already have the answer to that question.

If I find her, I won't confront her...but there is a part of me that wants to!!! I'm just angry at the world and you are all right that my problem is not really with her, it is with my husband.

[Maddy McCall]

94. You're getting angry at the wrong person. It's your husband who has a...

commitment to you, not the other woman.

(Although I do think she's scuzzy for it, if she knows. She may not know, though. I'd call her just to "inform" her that he's married, but not to lash out at her...unless you find out that she's a conniving bitch who knew that he's married and fucked around with him anyway. Then I'd let both barrels blast.)

[Inspired]

99. She would have to know

or else she is a freakin' idiot.

[Mutley]

108. Weird, that site said my phone belongs to someone else...

a guy who bill collectors call for all the time.

[TrueAmerican]

24. You should be worried no matter what Sex the other caller is.

Over 200 calls no matter what the sex is something to worry about. Hire a Private Eye.

[Inspired]

48. Or a psychiatrist...who calls anyone that much?

[LeftyMom]

52. No kidding.

If a guy called me 220 times a month, I'd get a restraining order. That's creepy as hell.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

32. How close are you to your S.O.? Is saving the relationship important?

[Inspired]

46. That may have changed now

that I have this information. I just want to make sure that I am NOT wrong in what I think is going on. I don't think I am though. It might just be the straw that broke the camels back.

[DS1]

53. Straw? Try 50-ton bridge I-Beam

[Inspired]

55. You are correct...thanks for the smile you brought to my face.

[JI7]

57. not paranoid at all

one thing it might be is that it's a close friend or relative who may be goinog through something and he is the only one they can talk to. but even in that case, the number would most likely be one you recognize.

or it could be work , but the same as above, the number should be one you know.

i don't know, but it's something you will need to confront him on. have you tried calling the number yourself ?

[Inspired]

61. Yes I have

and I know it is a woman. I did the usual call and hang up thing a couple of times. I just don't know who. He says they are just friends but come on....I'm no fool.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

64. Well I think you have answered your own question. And it sounds like you

have already confronted your S.O. about this...

[Inspired]

69. I'm still wanting answers though

but it isn't possible when you don't believe what you hear. The worst part is that I don't know if I want to hear the truth either.

[tjdee]

74. Please have some ice cream tonight. Or pie.

All of this doesn't have to be decided tonight.

Please be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to breathe.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

78. Well, if the explanations sound like lies to you, maybe you should say so.

With so little or no trust though, I don't see that you have much alternative but to walk away from the relationship...

I agree with others that it was wrong in principle to snoop his mail unless you had permission to do so. However, you must have had some kind of suspicions to have done such a thing in the first place. Did you?

[Inspired]

89. Of course, I wouldn't have snooped if I didn't

[JI7]

91. have you both ever had marriage counseling ?

i think if you stay with him, that will be something that you need to do. otherwise it will be best for you to get rid of him. better to deal with all this right now . the fact he is still trying to act like nothing is going and claiming they are just friends makes it worse.

can you imagine yourself calling another guy 200+ times in a month and not telling your husband about him and then claiming you are just friends. you think he would just accept and let it go ?

[XemaSab]

103. I dunno that that's the case

It's not a black/white either/or situation unless she wants it to be.

People can be different things to each other, and just because he's close with this woman doesn't mean their marriage is over unless either the OP or her husband insists that it be.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

119. I didn't realize it was a 24 yr. marriage with grown kids when the first

post talked about "significant other".. wasn't even sure if it was a live in arrangement.

[Inspired]

121. Didn't mean to be vague

I thought the less details I gave the more objective the advice/opinions would be. I realize that the whole 24 year marriage with children changes the perspective quite a bit. Sorry I wasn't more upfront about it.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

122. No biggie. It's just that, if you are 24 year olds who have been dating

for 3 months (which is what terms like "significant other" evoke to me without further info), and it has every appearance of cheating and dishonesty, really, enough has not been invested there to give the benefit of a doubt and not walk away, in my opinion.

When your whole life is invested in a family, the answer STILL may ultimately be to walk out, but obviously the decision is not so easy.

Good luck.

[flvegan]

73. Here's my two cents

First, you might have "found" this cell phone bill, but the extrapolation of the information therein goes beyond "a found item" in my opinion. Not finding fault, can't blame you, after the fact I guess.

Since this person IS your significant other, you might consider asking same who/what this number relates to. Once you have your answer from your SO, have him call that number, in front of you, and see what transpires. If it's innocent...it'll prove itself as such. If it's not so, it'll prove itself as such.

Either way, the mystery is solved without having to suggest that Prof. Plum did it with the wrench in...yes, The Lounge.

[tjdee]

80. I actually kind of like that idea, getting him to call there in front of

you, without any notice.

But it might be too late for that....and dragging it out.... :(

[flvegan]

86. Yes, but

"might be" should never take the place if "is" in my opinion.

I also don't think that it's dragging in out, since the poster is asking for thoughts...

[Fleshdancer]

109. That is exactly what I would do....

I would have him call her on speaker phone in my presence. If he refuses, I would call her right then and there in his presence myself.

A situation like this would be painful but suspecting I was still being deceived would add insult to injury. I would have to know the truth and I wouldn't be able to do that without talking (calmly) to the other woman. I would have to know everything - when they met, how they met, when did the phone calls start, have they been alone together (details,dates,times), what does she look like, how old is she, is she married, does she know he is married, etc.

Knowing me, I wouldn't be satisfied unless every question was answered. I would ask him these questions first and then ask her to see what answers did and didn't match. But I'm crazy like that I guess.

:(

[dpbrown]

76. If you call phone sex emotional, that is...

I guess it could be considered draining, after all....


D'oh!

[LeftyMom]

79. Phone sex 7 times a day?

Hey, wanna give him my number?

Just kidding. :evilgrin:

[dpbrown]

83. Cuddling talk?

:shrug:

[LeftyMom]

84. Really, what the hell does one talk about in 7 phone calls a day?

The only women I know who get called by thier boyfriends that often are dating selfish assholes who call constantly to make sure they aren't being cheated on (these men are cheaters to a man, so that may be why he's calling the Other Woman so often.)

[dpbrown]

85. "I just called to let you know I'm thinking about you..."

<click>


"What are you wearing?"


<click>


"I can't stop thinking about you."


<click>


===> Insert hormonal comment here.

[Inspired]

90. This is what I imagine is being said

[seaglass]

120. But consider that he might be stalking this person and that's

why he's embarrassed. Maybe he needs mental help. Just a thought.

[leftofthedial]

92. was it a 1-900 number?

[jobycom]

95. Don't drive yourself crazy,

Your suspicions are based on something, and you're tap-dancing around it, hoping it's not what it looks like. Make him prove it's not what it looks like, to your complete satisfaction. After 24 years, you've earned that right. Be prepared for what you think it is, though, and know what you will do. Doesn't mean you have to leave him, just be prepared for the worst, otherwise you'll look for any way out of the situation and you'll wind up leaning on him for support--even though he's the one who hurt you (assuming there is anything to your suspicion).

The fact that you opened the bill and counted the calls proves you suspect him already. The fact that you have to ask us for advice proves you are looking for some way out of the situation. You can hang yourself in that limbo until you no longer know what you want or who you are. That's worse than knowing for sure.

220 calls can't be innocent. It may not be what you fear, but it is something he's trying to hide. It should also be easy enough for him to prove what it is, unless he just doesn't want to.

I've been on your end, and I took the basic avoidance/denial approach, and it made things worse every step of the way.

[ContraBass Black]

101. Did it say how long the calls were?

[Inspired]

102. Thanks everyone!!!!!

I've read some very insightful comments. I will take to heart everything I've read...even the comments about my snooping. I posted this thinking a couple of people might respond and I'm overwhelmed by the support I have received.

I hope that none of you ever have to face this crap in your lives. I have been married for more than half of my life and I guess I haven't been very good at establishing boundaries or consequences when those boundaries are crossed. This is going to change...NOW. That might mean the end of this marriage. Right now I don't know what I am going to do but whatever I decide, the decision needs to be based on my intellect and not my emotions.

Thank you all again and good night! (The husband is out of town tonight on the last day of a business trip which adds to my paranoia but I'm actually glad he's not here right now.)

[SeattleGirl]

106. Good for you, Inspired.

We need to have boundaries regarding what's okay and what's not okay for us. I'm glad, too, that you are going to give this thought, and not just act on emotion.

[Christa]

116. For your sake

I hope was alone on this business trip.

[TrogL]

123. Any chance (however unlikely) this is his sponsor?

[bullwinkle428]

104. Unfortunately, this is how I discovered my wife (at the time) was cheating

on me...she denied for literally a couple of years until I got the ultimate proof one day.

[IdaBriggs]

110. Over 200 phone calls to a "friend" of the opposite sex who is not

YOUR friend? If no actual PHYSICAL intimacy with the other person has taken place, we are definitely talking EMOTIONAL intimacy, which is inappropriate in a committed marriage situation. You already know this. No matter what, she's gone -- and you will have to check on him to "prove it" since he can't be trusted to tell you the truth. Then, off to either a divorce attorney or counseling. Obviously things aren't going well in your marriage and one or both of you aren't getting your needs met, otherwise no one would be going outside of the marriage. (This is not to excuse it, but to identify the problem.) If you want to stay married to him, COUNSELING. If you don't, a good lawyer. Take your pick, and good luck. Anything else at this point is purely self delusion, in my not so humble opinion.

:hug:

[file83]

114. Could it be a customer? Does he/she use the phone for business?