give me your best trite homespun homily of encouragement

[leftofthedial]

you know, like "everything happens for a reason" or "it is better to give than to receive"

[bertha katzenengel]

1. Just keep trustin' the Lord, bro.

Usually in answer to, "I mean, I've had problems before, but I just don't know what to do about this. I am so afraid."

[leftofthedial]

3. puh-raze jeezis

I feel better already

[Redstone]

2. It's easy to be easy when you're easy.

Redstone

[leftofthedial]

4. things are more like they are now

than they ever have been before.

[Redstone]

8. And wherever you go, there you are.

Redstone

[leftofthedial]

11. fool me once, shame...

shame on me . . .

[Redstone]

16. There's no fool like an old fool.

Redstone

[leftofthedial]

18. and I'm old enough to know better

than most fools just how true that is . . .

[Redstone]

19. Old enough to know better, but young enough not to care?

Redstone

[leftofthedial]

21. or too old to remember why I used to care . . .

[auntAgonist]

5. hang in there ...

what goes around comes around.


:yoiks:

[leftofthedial]

6. I can't find a rope

maybe a lamp cord will work . . .

at least that's true of the flu.

[philosophie_en_rose]

7. It was God's will.

:eyes:


Puppy dead? God's will.

Car won't start? God's will.

Panties in a bunch? God's will.

[leftofthedial]

12. OHHHH! All these years, I thought they were blaming it on

God's willie . . .

color me embarassed.

:blush:

[LeftyMom]

9. Things happen for a reason. nt

[leftofthedial]

13. the "reason" usually boils down to gravity

or conservation of energy

[philosophie_en_rose]

20. I hate that one. It stinks of smugness.

A combination of "I-am-holier-than-thou" and "sucks to be you."

[LeftyMom]

23. It has a nice hint of "stop whining" and "you probably deserved it"

:puke:

[no name no slogan]

10. don't trust whitey

* the Lord loves a workin' man

* see a doctor and get it fixed

[leftofthedial]

14. spank whitey

the lord of the manor loves a workin' man anyway

I ain't been fixed, and I ain't plannin' to

[Maddy McCall]

15. A bush in hand is worth two in the bush.

Never turn away a bush in hand just because you may thing that there's better bush in greener pastures.

:freak:

[leftofthedial]

17. ESPECIALLY

on the other side of the bush

and let's leave my may thing out of this so they won't lock this thread . . .

Ahh, my dear Maddy McCall, how are ye lass?

[Maddy McCall]

24. Hey lotd...

All's well. I'm about to log off this crazy website and clean my house...got company coming and a cook-out tomorrow.

How are you?

:hi:

[leftofthedial]

27. swell!

but I'm gonna put ice on it later

[amitten]

22. Keep on truckin'!

:thumbsup:

[leftofthedial]

49. with your new GMC Ram Tough 4X4 of the year no money down

built for the road ahead full-size king cab gas guzzlin ready to work rides like a car truck

[henslee]

25. "Inch by inch, it's a cinch!"

[leftofthedial]

28. how many inches

exactly?

[Skittles]

26. and this too shall pass

yes

[leftofthedial]

29. is that a scatalogical homily?

[Hissyspit]

30. God was looking out for you.

That guy that was standing right next to you, who was just splattered out of existence? God wasn't looking out for him.

(This is a variation on "It's God's will.")

[leftofthedial]

31. but I thought god didn't play at dice . . .

:shrug:

[ZombieNixon]

32. "If at first, you don't success, kill things, break stuff, and give up."

There, wasn't that inspiring?

Herk on!

[hfojvt]

34. one comic who worked as a teacher said

One of my students wanted to kill me.
He actually wrote it down as one of his "goals and objectives"
"kill Mr. Kotter"
Somebody asked me "weren't you worried?"
I said "why? He hasn't met any of his objectives all year."

[leftofthedial]

43. I think I just broke something

:rofl:

whew!

[hfojvt]

33. keep everybody together, keep everybody warm

and always remember to keep ridin' the storm out.

[leftofthedial]

45. you stay warmer

when everybody's nekkid

:evilgrin:

[rockymountaindem]

35. You don't have ta take that shit!

Now get in there and mix it up!

[leftofthedial]

48. Be a factor!

[philosophie_en_rose]

36. Pimpin' ain't easy, but it's necessary.

Pimping IS easy and it's NOT necessary. :bounce:

[leftofthedial]

50. I already have the hat

now I just need the car and the shoes

and the "ladies"

[BikeWriter]

37. If you love something turn it loose, if it doesn't come back...

hunt it down and kill it.

[leftofthedial]

51. here kitty kitty kitty

[Shine]

38. When one door closes, another door opens.........

:hi:


and hopefully, doesn't slam in your face! :silly:

[leftofthedial]

40. outhouses have doors

and then outhouses have doors

:hi:

[dpbrown]

39. Life sucks, then you die.

Might as well celebrate.

[leftofthedial]

41. woo hoo!

happy stops sucking day!

[kwassa]

42. When the going gets tough, the tough get going

[leftofthedial]

47. when the going gets weird

the weird turn pro

[kwassa]

44. Winners never quit, and quitters never win

Whiners always quit, and quitters always whine.

Or something like that.

[leftofthedial]

46. judging from king george

winners always whine

[riona]

52. a stitch in time saves nine

or was it wine? or maybe swine?
:shrug:

[thefool_wa]

53. Buck up Camper -

Tomorrow we'll go fishin!

(always made me feel better)

[sarge43]

54. "Everything will work out for the best."

"No asshole, everything usually goes from bad to worse. Howzat for an equally trite comeback?"

[joneschick]

55. there's a cover for every kettle

or something like that. For when a relationship didn't work out as encouragemnt or when a couple seems strange to explain their togetherness!

[KitchenWitch]

56. When a door closes, a window opens.

[undeterred]

57. The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

I really believe that.

[Momgonepostal]

58. Smile--Things could be worse!