Windows Hasta La Vista - Ironclad Security

[RoyGBiv]

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Today, I am reviewing Microsoft's greatest operating system ever, Windows Hasta La Vista, or WHLV (which is also the name of a talk radio station in Hattiesburg, Mississippi - Microsoft is now suing them for trademark infringement). But to simplify things, we'll just call this OS "Windows Vista" or "Vista" from now on.

Those who have been following the latest tech news are well aware of the fact that Vista will not, in fact, be released to the public until early 2007. Fortunately, for techies who just can't wait to get their hands on the latest and greatest offerings from Microsoft, there are two simple solutions - pay the Earth to become a Windows developer, or volunteer to be a beta tester. I chose to do the latter.

The beta version of Windows Vista - officially known as the Community Technology Preview (CTP) - can be downloaded through Microsoft's developers' site. Please note that the CTP is a time-limited copy which will self-destruct (along with your data) at a secret predetermined date.

I enthusiastically downloaded my copy and began the installation procedure. This might be a good time to mention that the Vista installation program differs from the Windows XP installer in several significant ways. For example, when XP installs, it merely wipes out any Linux partitions on the hard drive. Windows Vista, on the other hand, will go much further - it will mount any Linux partitions it finds and then plant viruses and root kits in /usr/bin. After all, Linux hackers have been doing stuff like this for years to Window users - now it's time for some payback.

Just as when you install XP, at the very end of the installation process, Vista insists that you need to type in a user's registration key. However, XP requires a mere 25-digit alpha-numeric key which is not even case-sensitive. Vista, which is far more secure, requires a 250-digit key which is case-sensitive and also includes spaces and various symbols. For example, a valid registration key might look something like this:

5|_4!C|@W/#\r$cw3 r\/1=|\xV|Zb0+aR t3qh h^0w ilE |r_1]n\/x-(pY)5\C 3k&|\|3*j<%=G(.Mx^G$Hd:" 7{OK4"GDe:E &y$C[;}4!s3C|@W/O8@#\r$Uc~w3 r\`/1=|\xV|Z"b>,0+>{*$4%f_b+a@Q=-^.>c#wC|@=}4!+sG$]Hd:C)|@W/0+&]{ qC h=G?(>,0+] \/1?+n]e{f *^j0w@~>n V^"|k\E$

If you make a mistake when typing the key, the installation program will abort and you have to start over from the beginning. Furthermore, users will be required to retype the key every time they restart Windows. Leave it to Microsoft to come up with such a clever method to protect us from the evils of software piracy!

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Copyright (C) 2006 Robert Storey
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