Let the record show that OUTLOOK EXPRESS is a piece-of-shit program!

[NightTrain]

I was writing a legnthy response to an e-mail I received last night, only to get the world-famous Microsoft message, "This computer has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down." When I clicked "OK," as I was forced to, Outlook Express closed and what I had written was gone forever.

Oh, how I'd love to disembowel Bill Gates! :grr:

[PDittie]

1. Every time I get that...

I always wonder what I did that was so "illegal"...

[Bertha Venation]

2. great joke... surely most have heard it, but...

A man is flying some bigwigs to Seattle in a small plane. The guy realizes he's low on fuel but he knows he's near the airport so he doesn't worry. But the engine sputters once and the bigwigs get nervous. The pilot reassures them -- and just then all the instruments go out. So he's low on gas and he has no way of knowing exactly where he is, and although he drops as low as he thinks is safe, the weather is too filthy for him to navigate by sight. The passengers are panicking and saying their prayers.

The pilot spies a tall building up ahead, and hopes against hope for some help there. He sees a guy walking around on one of the floors so pulls up as close as he can to the building (you have to suspend reality) and rolls his window down and shouts "CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I AM??" The guy shouts back, "YOU'RE IN SEATTLE!!" While the passengers remain terrified, the pilot nods, rolls up the window, changes directions and descends, and suddenly the runway lights appear below them, and just as the engine quits, having run out of gas, the wheels touch down.

When the plane has stopped and everyone has relaxed a little, one of the bigwigs ask how in the hell the pilot knew where to go. The pilot said, "It was easy. The answer the guy gave me when I asked where we were was correct and completely useless, so I knew it was the Microsoft building, and I knew where the airport was from there."

I don't tell jokes too well. But you get the idea.

[JailBush]

4. Ha!

I may put that joke on my Freedomware website, at http://www.freedomware.us/

Regarding Outlook Express, watch out! I believe it's one of Microsoft's most maligned programs. I really don't know that much about it, but it's often called a virus magnet and security hole, and I certainly had the perception that I was picking up a lot of viruses with it. I was also miffed when Microshaft and Earthlink began sending me monthly bills for some sort of Outlook Express service I never signed up for.

If there's a way to screw the human race, Bill Gates will find it.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

3. Goto mozilla.org

Download the Mozilla email client. Install it. Never use Outhouse Distress again. With the Mozilla client, you will never have to worry about ActiveX/VB email viruses again, either.

[Systematic Chaos]

5. I followed that advice and am I ever happy!

Mozilla rocks. That's all there is to it. Compared to Internet Exploiter and Outlook Depress they're just awesome.

[Booberdawg]

6. That has never happened to me

Only if there is a power outage. I've learned to "save" as I go along for long messages.

[RC]

8. UPS

Uninteruptable Power Supply Will take care of that problem.

[Booberdawg]

13. I have a surge protector but not a UPS

My stuff is not that important to invest in a UPS. You can *save* in Outlook. So that's what I do. If power goes out I only lose up to the last time I saved.

[DS1]

7. HEAR HEAR! nt

[Catfish]

9. Netscape 4.7

Yes, the browser became obsolete and I use Mozilla (no popups!) now but I still use Netscape 4.7 for email and have never had a problem after 5 years. I have to sort a large quantity of email into folders for work and it works just great. I know there are other good options for email. I'd suggest anything but OE and IE for mail and browsing.

[lpbk2713]

10. And I thought I was the only one.

I'm using Ntscp 7.0 but like the mail client in 4.73 and kept it. I won't have Outlook or even MSIE because they are the preferred target of hackers and spammers.

[Catfish]

12. Yes!

I've never had a virus, probably because virus writers aren't interested in my old Netscape mail program. It also helps that I don't open attachments from anyone.

[Tredge]

11. Noted

The record will so reflect.

[kayleybeth]

14. I refuse to use MS Outlook

I use a stand alone email program called Calypso. It's ancient but it does what I need it to do and it's not nearly as buggy or vulnerable as Outlook.

[BiggJawn]

15. And so's MickeySoft Exchange....

Which is the Email system we have at work. When i first started checking my account from home, i could use any client, and it was good. then to "tighten up security", i had to go through Outlook Web Access.
Lemme tell ya, I'd rather sift spam in my Snotmail account...