I sent someone to the ER today

[LostinVA]

So... I've been playing in a local women's soccer league... even though I've never played soccer until a few weeks ago, and even though my knees feel every day of 41 most days.

There was game today, and it was a bloodbath. One women left the game because of a hurt ankle. Three went to the hospital with injuries -- someone with a broken nose, someone with a popped ankle...

And then there's my gal. The other team's Right Wing, maybe mid-20's. I kinda broke her collarbone... or so our goalkeeper said... she's an EMT, and I heard something break. I was playing defense, really aggressively crowding her in the box, and she tripped over my ankle and fell... I heard something go SNAP *shudder*, and she started crying and kinda screaming.

Now, I feel kinda guilty, even though I really didn't DO it...

But damn! The game was fun!

[petronius]

1. You've got the soccer jargon down well for being so new at it

"...she tripped over my ankle and fell..."

In soccer talk that means "The ref wasn't looking so I elbowed her across the bridge of the nose and kicked her feet out from under. Nobody hangs around in front of my goal, dammit!"

:)

[LostinVA]

2. giggle -- actually, that's soccer talk for:

"I was being really aggressive with my body and intimidating the little Right Wing (OMG! maybe that's why!!!) because that's easier than trying to figure out how to get the ball away from her."

'Cause, dammit! She was hanging around in front of my goal!

We won, btw -- 1-0. HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. I've sent two people to the ER. I felt bad about one.

Both took place while sparring in karate. One was a girl, about my age (14 or so) & size, who I was testing for her orange belt (I was a brown belt). I legitimately slipped and broke her nose. I felt really bad because I didn't mean to hurt her and she dropped out because of that, even though she passed her promotion.

The other one was an asshole guy. He was going rougher on me than he should have. I was like 15 and he was 35ish with a major size advantage. It was no-contact practice sparring, but he got a couple hard hits on me. I got tired of it and I popped him real hard in the ribs. Definitely broke one. He acted like he wasn't hurt because of his ego. A week later he went into the ER with a broken rib (he couldn't breathe).

A rib and a collar bone are both really easy to break. If you can punch through a one-inch board, you can break either of those.

[LostinVA]

4. That's what my mom said about collarbones -- she's a nurse

I played field hockey for six years as a kid, and did martial arts as an adult for quite a while, but never had anyone break anything because of what I did.... my mom said the collarbone is as easy to snap as a twig -- you just have to land a certain way.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

5. My best friend's collar bone permanently juts out

She broke it in an incident involving drinking and a hyperactive Golden Retriever. It just couldn't be healed right.

[merh]

6. I gave someone whiplash once in a basketball game.

It was in college, the required PE course. I had just has a semester of karate, so my reflexes were sharp. I am short, 5'3", I went for the ball and a taller girl tried to grab it from me in the air, I quickly tucked the ball to avoid her steal and her arm was caught in my grasp. She went flying over my shoulder and landed with a thud on the gym floor. It was purely accidental and I felt bad that she was hurt.

Her sister was supposed to be out to kick my ass, until she saw me. She realized I couldn't have done that on purpose.

The game was big fun and the injury was accidental but I still felt badly about having a part in hurting her.

I've never really participated in any type of organized sports since.

Glad you had such a good game and it's great that you get in to soccer. :yourock:

[pitohui]

7. april fool's i hope

what's wrong w. getting yr exercise by a little birdwatching stroll around the park?

[LostinVA]

8. April 2, not April 2

Soccer is fun... the team camaraderie is fun...

[Starbucks Anarchist]

9. Remind me not to make you mad.

[LostinVA]

15. I hate snotty LA screenwriters... come here and let me bodycheck you!!!

[Starbucks Anarchist]

56. Bodycheck doesn't mean what I think it does, right?

:D

[LostinVA]

63. Well, she WAS cute...

[Starbucks Anarchist]

66. ...

:evilgrin:

[LostinVA]

67. giggle

[jukes]

10. collar bones are easy to snap

only takes about 8# of impact. can be fun to forearm the shoulder or grab a handful of hair y give them a shake, because the shards of bone tend to shred the subclavian nerve y it's excrutiating!

just playing G/F!!! i know you had NO intention of really hurting some1!

i DO like to play up my "sick bastard" side someXs, for shock value. devalues my image here at DU, o/c, but i'm MOST aware that most find me offensive at Xs. CERTAINLY hope i haven't offended you w/ my thread-jacking butch bullshit. i really do value our budding friendship...



in my defense, i'm really nice to animals, especially cats.

[petronius]

11. Where's the "sick bastard" stuff?

This all just seems like useful advice (my old soccer coach would think it was pretty mild, actually) :)

[jukes]

13. i've played it down

out of respect for the OP.

slicing the subclavian nerve w/ the shattered ends of a clavicle is pretty rough stuff. i've used the technique in bar-fights when i was moonlighting as a bouncer. it's a def attention-getter in those situ's.

i'm not a pacifist; hurtful folks need a taste of their own medicine, according to my philosphy. taking some1 out of a game in a sporting contest is acceptable; intentionally risking crippling them is over-the-top. and i think LostinVA is a truly kind person who wdnt do something like that.

i've never been much of an athlete. my martial arts training wasn't geared towards tournaments: i'm a streetfighter. and a sick, mean bastard when i'm doing my thing.

[LostinVA]

19. I could tell the sensitive, caring guy thing was a front...

[jukes]

24. multifaceted!

i 1ce spent 4 weeks sleeping in 2 hr shifts so i cd bottle feed a kitten abandoned by his mother. had to teach him to suckle, tap him on the back w/ 1 finger whilst laying on my shoulder to "belchie" him, stimulate his "parts" w/ a warm washcloth so he cd learn to void. he's now a FINE 18#, 6 YO mancat!

so i've got a def "nurturing side"

BUT, i did a year in Nam in the infantry, spent 20 years as a cop, moonlighted for about 8 years total as a bouncer and def enjoy a righteous tussle w/ a badguy.

if i was "Windows", microsoft products cd ACTUALLY multitask...

[LostinVA]

28. You need to post the kitten thing in a thread of its own

[jukes]

33. did 1ce

in my 1st incarnation @ DU. Eddie is a sweet boy & still likes to drape on my shoulder someXs y have his back patted, as if he's being "belchied". tiring, now that's he's 18#s!

[LostinVA]

41. I love kitties -- I have three

[jukes]

51. me, too!

love my doggies, o/c, but i'm really a catman.

i owe what little sanity i can claim to my cats!

[LostinVA]

52. The Eldest says she's God... I think it may be true...

[jukes]

59. my "alpha" right now is a female (feral)

Maitresse Bridgette, named after the voodoux loa that corresponds to dominant female of the pantheon, earth mother, & "wife" to Baron Samedi, Loa of graveyards & death.

she's apsitively in charge and "rides" me (in voodoo, the priests/priestesses are "ridden", or possessed, by various Loa during the ceremonies.) when she feels i'm not properly fulfilling her needs!

[LostinVA]

62. Hmmmm... THAT sounds familiar!

[LostinVA]

16. The punk just got in my way -- I had to show her who was boss...

And that was LostinVA.... although her very butch GF kinda scared me.... I'm just making believe it was an accident to keep my progressive cred...

[jukes]

17. LOL

bet you cd destroy me on a soccerfield, though i had game growing up in catholic St. Louis, where sandlot soccer was as polular as baseball!

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

20. I cant run as fast as I used to -- my knees are 41-years-old

But I played field hockey for six years, and know how to give a vicious knee chop that'll
kill ya....

[jukes]

26. "raking"

the side of your foot down the shin worx good, too, and can stretch those ankle-tendons like rubberbands!

[LostinVA]

29. True -- except we have to wear shinguards in the league

SISSIES!!!

[jukes]

35. AH!

they do take the fun out of things. that's why street-fighting is so much more satisfying!

[northzax]

12. play hard, you get hurt

I've been to the ER for soccer injuries (and basketball, and skiing, especially skiing) and put people in the ER doing the same. Never intentional, but it is a contact sport, people get hurt.

In case you're wondering, my personal tally is:

Skiing:
broken leg, torn rotator cuff, broken collarbone, broken wrist, sprained knee.
basketball:
3 sprained ankles, broken nose, broken arm, torn cornea
Soccer:
broken nose, sprained (other) knee, several fingers and a toe
Crew:
torn back muscle.

and that's just what I did to myself, I have been indirectly responsible, in sports, (only major ones I know of) a broken femur, detached retina and a ruptured testicle. unpleasant. life's a bitch when you're playing all out.

[jukes]

14. apsitively!

and for those afraid of being injured, chess is a fine pastime.

my advice was about intentionally increasing an injury, after the damage has been done, and to the point of risking the loss of the use of that limb. goes beyond playing full-out & def unsportsmanlike contact.

there def IS a time/place for that level of viciousness, though, and i have to admit, that's the kind of sport i enjoy.

because i'm a mean bastard.

but i'm nice to animals....

[LostinVA]

18. Hmmm.... you keep on saying you're nice to animals....

I BET!!!

My dad was shocked by it happening... he was like "Soccer??? That's not a contact sport???"

I just laughed. He's such an innocent....

[jukes]

22. "not a contact sport"?

american football is a joke compared to soccer! buncha juiced up beefcakes in plastic armor!

i really AM nice to animals. i run a non-profit rescuing feral cats, have a houseful of ferals & strays (some of my home-ferals even allow me to pet them!), several non-breed abuse-rescued dogs & have never hunted anything not capable of shooting back.

haven't eaten animal-flesh since 1968.

in the non-cyber world, the only "people" that talk to me are animals.

[LostinVA]

23. I know -- I saw the kitty thing in your profile

Yeah, my Dad doesn't watch soccer, and has never played it... I think he thinks the only injuries are people just tripping on the pitch.... yup, sissy shoulder-padded beefed up American football players...

[LostinVA]

21. How did you tear your back rowing? *shudder*

Picking up the shell? That sounds like it smarts... the worst I ever did rowing was have blisters from hell from an 8-practice gone bad -- they became infected.....

[northzax]

39. rowing a coxed pair at the Dad Vails

felt something go in my lower back around 500 meters, kept going for another 500 meters until I literally could not move. got jacked up on relaxants and painkillers for the ride home. yuck.

and blisters? common everyday practice. :)

oh, the non-rowers, think it all looks so elegant and pretty.

[LostinVA]

42. It is anything but elegant and pretty

No, these were nasty things that ripped my callouses off... I kept on rowing all week, and they got infected. Nasty. I rowed for weeks with my hands wrapped in bandages, ointment oozing out all over.... I earned some major rowing cred that summer...

The back muscle sounds BAD.

[northzax]

47. I spent a summer on my stomach.

fun way to spend the summer between soph and Junior year of college, huh?

I know the infected blisters, try rowing in Maine in late february, where you have to row on rivers and streams, cause the lake is still frozen, knocking ice off the riggers, you can't even feel your hands bleed...

but then everything works, and it's the most sublime feeling ever. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, like sitting in a heavy 8 going at full blast in perfect time. It's like living a symphony.

I personally like Crew as a metaphor for life in the business world. After all, you get in line, you can't see where you're going, someone smaller than you yells at you to do more work, and more work, and more work. and then all of a sudden, they tell you to stop.

[LostinVA]

53. I mainly rowed an eight -- number 4 or 5 seat

And, you're right: when it works, when everything's perfect -- you just fly, and the creak of the riggers, the squeak of the slide, and the sound of a sharp, in unison feather is magical... especially if it's early morning with mist on the water...

[northzax]

60. six here

good times in the Engine Room (except for the season I swept that cursed coxed pair, that thing was slower than George Bush watching Jeopardy.)

[WilliamPitt]

25. Soccer or rugby?

Damn.

[LostinVA]

30. Soccer -- if it was rugby, she probably would have laughed and kept

playing....

[northzax]

40. you missed something

the correct order is:
1: laugh
2: get a beer
3: keep going
4: get a beer.
5: keep going
6: sing stupid songs

[LostinVA]

44. And, #7 -- make a rookie drink beer out of a shoe... then laugh

Ruggers are a strange bunch.... but they look nice in their kit...

[Squatch]

27. I once broke an opponent's sternum in baseball.

I was on first and he bunted. The catcher fielded the ball an then threw it to me, way high. I jumped to catch the ball just as the runner reached me and I brought my knee right up into his solar plexus, breaking his sternum.

He dropped like a stone and had severe difficulty breathing. An ambulance came to the game and took him away.

Nobody else bunted for the rest of the game.

[LostinVA]

31. OMG! Okay, you win...

[Squatch]

32. I felt like shit and still think about it from time to time

15 years later.

[LostinVA]

34. The WORST thing was hearing it break -- CRACK

Ick. I kept on hearing it last night...

[Squatch]

37. The last time I broke a big bone (not in my hand)

it didn't hurt until much later. I have a very high pain tolerance, but I get really squeamish when I stop to think about broken bones, etc.

The first time I tore my ACL, I knew it tore...sounded like a gunshot, but continued to ski for the rest of the day, more worried about getting my money's worth.

I ran on it for another 3 months, before it finally gave on me.

[northzax]

45. yeah, when I broke my leg skiing, I knew it immediately

not a pleasant sound at all.

I was once skiing with a friend who popped her Achilles Tendon, she said it felt like a rubber band broke. (shudder)

[LostinVA]

46. I have semi-permanent tendinitis in my right knee

The Ortho says -- stop running for a few weeks. I just laugh and think, "Foolish little man!"

I have high pain tolerance, too... I broke my nose early in a field hockey game, and played the rest of the game like that, blood frozen all over my face and jersey. My mom -- the nurse -- almost murdered my coach... hey, I wanted to play!

Too much crazy Sicilian and Mick blood in me, I guess...

[jukes]

36. Squatch

hey, it was an accident. try not to linger, you meant no harm.

lucky you didn't kill him actually, detaching the sternum from the rib cage can seriously disrupt breathing, or stop the heart.

now, if you were a mysoginist lacrosse player, you'd brag about it. but you're a liberal, w/ a conscience...:pals:

[Squatch]

38. Yeah, I know. He was a good friend

and to think I could have killed him...

[LostinVA]

48. OMG.,... if he was a misogynist Lacrosse player, I'd move to another threa

[ContraBass Black]

43. I had a wholly undeserved reputation as a terror on the field.

I never really hurt anyone, although I did once put my foot squarely through a solid plate shin guard.

[LostinVA]

49. Oooohhh.... impressive! What position?

[ContraBass Black]

50. I played for somewhere between 25-35 seasons

Mostly defense, with long stints in midfield and occasional posts as a forward.


A few coaches tried me out at keeper. Bad idea.

[LostinVA]

54. hehehehehe -- I'm playing defense now -- not enough speed for midfield

nor enough ball skills at front.

[ContraBass Black]

57. Defense is a skill and speed position.

[LostinVA]

58. I understand, but it fits in better with the skills and speed I have

than midfield or front.

[Kali]

55. Sounds like a good game.

}(


I have a soccer story. When my kids were younger they played AYSO soccer - sometimes derisively called communist soccer - they have rules about fairness and letting everybody play, more about playing than winning etc etc. Not real competitive. (Good for kids development, not that great for sports entertainment)

Anyway one year there was a school exchange program with a bunch of kids from Mexico. A busload of kids from each country would spend 4 days living life in each others county. Hee hee. On the last day there was a bbq at the local park. When the boys started a pick up game it was hilarious. The Mexican kids were playing either barefoot or in their hard leather "good" shoes and just wiped the field with all these big doofy gringo kids. They had been playing all their lives with no grass and our kids had been playing 3 or 4 seasons with full equipment and AYSO rules. I still get a kick thinking about it.

[LostinVA]

61. hehehehehe -- I agree with that type of game when they're kids

But, when you're a bunch of 25-55-year-old women -- the sky's the limit!

I can just SEE that game!

And, actually, ours was a good game, too -- a lot of good, solid playing from both sides -- very even game. It was exciting! On side of maiming someone, my claim to fame was stopping a goal being scored when the keeper was in the other corner of the box....

[benburch]

64. I did that once.

I tackled this little quarterback and broke several of his ribs... I felt terrible.

[beyurslf]

65. Did you win? :)

[LostinVA]

68. Yes, but one goal!