Question:

[Sugar Smack]

Why do some people who are happily married on this site offer themselves up as sexual fodder for strangers? These are people who apparently have kids and who are supposedly secure in their relationships. I am really not getting it. There's flirtation and then there's the really obvious welcome.

[_testify_]

1. Maybe they want to feel wanted?

And they don't feel wanted in real life as much as they'd like to.

[Sugar Smack]

3. I suppose my question is that:

If they post about being happily married with fabulous kids, what's with the: "OOPS, I just spilled icy water all over my braless shirt" posts.

That is all.

[_testify_]

6. Well, I would venture that the 'woe-is-me' crowd is

being a bit dramatic as well.

I have been chatting online for ten years and I think that essentially, most people play up what they think is the most interesting part of their personality. Sometimes they're wrong though. :)

[leeroysphitz]

9. "Sometimes they're wrong though."

True that.

[leftofthedial]

2. and then what about us who aren't married and don't offer ourselves up

as sexual fodder

unless, of course, any of you ladies are looking for some sexual fodder

....hello?





not everyone is who they seem to be. happy is as happy does.

[Sugar Smack]

4. That's different. LOL!

:rofl:

[rbnyc]

5. Flirting is healthy and fun...especially for people in monogamous...

...relationships.

My husband is a musician, and he's really cute. If he felt like he couldn't flirt with girls at his shows, he'd probably implode. It's fun and it's natural and it's healthy. It feels good to him that women find him attractive. And it's totally normal for him to be attracted to people other than me. Flirting is a good mental and emotional exercise. As long as no one is being misled, it's no problem. And I get an enormous benefit when he comes home.

Same with me flirting with my sexy DU friends. I have a very sexy brain, and I get crushes on people, and I flirt. I don't think that I'm misleading GOPisEvil, DS1 or NSMA or any of the other people I flirt with here. I don't think I'm in danger of breaking anyone's heart. But it's fun and energizing and exciting.

Monogamy is not really natural, IMHO, it's a choice. And flirting helps people maintain it.

EDIT: Just wanted to note...I guess I haven't seen the really obvious welcome. Just flirtation. I wonder if I view the really obvious welcome as just flirtation--that colored my reply.

[_testify_]

7. I agree. It feels good to be flirted with.

[Ariana Celeste]

8. Good answer...

I think. :thumbsup:

My SO knows I'm flirty by nature and it never bothers him, he knows where my heart is. :) Now him on the other hand, he's too damned shy!! He just. can't. do. it. But he can look, and that's good enough for him! :P

[rbnyc]

11. Of course, I may not have been talking about What the OP was asking about.

I just wrote about the kinds of sexual overtures I see here, which are generally harmless.


But thanks.

[Sugar Smack]

12. That's a stellar answer, because you're really subtle.

No, you are not obvious, you have a subtleness people strive for, and I'd never ever call you on it.

[rbnyc]

21. LOL

Thanks so much. But I think you may be referring to more over-the-top flirting nthat I haven't really seen, so I didn't comment on it.

But I had to write something, because I adore getting my flirt on.

:evilgrin:

[Sugar Smack]

24. I know you do,

daaahlink! :evilgrin: :toast: :hi: ;-)

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. I think monogamy is natural for some

I've never had a relationship with more than one woman at a time. Never wanted to.

Flirting, though, is validating; it makes us feel good about ourselves — as long as it's kept in context.

If others want to put their relationships at risk with something more overt or serious, it's not for me to judge.

[rbnyc]

22. I'm sure it is. I should have phrased it differently.

Instead on saying IMHO, I should have said, I and many others do not find it natural, yet have good reasons for choosing it.

:)

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. That works

:hi:

[LeftyMom]

10. Nobody flirts on DU.

O8)

[ZombieNixon]

13. Least of all you.

:eyes:

:P

[LeftyMom]

14. Certainly not.

:)

edit: Where's my pic? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

[ZombieNixon]

17. Please, my roommate's here.

:eyes:

There are precious few people who I would feel comfortable taking a shirtless self-portrait in front of, and none of them are less than 100 miles from me right now. Be patient.




Really patient.

:P

[Sugar Smack]

16. BWAAAH!

:loveya:

[In_The_Wind]

15. Only the individuals involved can answer that.

:shrug:

[Sugar Smack]

20. YUP- Like I said!

:bounce: :toast:

[In_The_Wind]

27. *wink* *wink*

[WCGreen]

18. It depends on what your definition of flirt is......

[Deja Q]

25. Just like the Xian gay man at church who proclaims he's happily partnered,

and I mean life-partnered in a closed relationship with rings and everything else sacred... but puts himself onto every singles matchmaking forum claiming he's looking for friends only and that he has a great heated outdoor whirlpool... okey doke, whatever. He's as monogamous as I am into mass orgies... (I'm not.)


Last time I was there, he'd given up the church. :rofl:

[Rowdyboy]

26. I'll stop flirting when I stop breathing....I'm deeply in love with my guy

and we've been for 18 years but I flirt frequently. I'm 52 and gay, but I flirt with women too because they make incredible friends... Life can either be fun or boring. I choose fun.