WASHINGTON, DC — President Bush went on nationwide TV this week to apologize for "accidentally" stripping Lady Liberty last week at a performance before Congress.
"I was just trying to introduce legislation on the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman and brought Miss Liberty along with me to help me. As I was speaking I grabbed her costume to show how strong our liberties are and the next thing I knew I had stripped her," said the President.
"Believe me, I didn't mean to do it intentionally but, now that the damage is done, I just hope the people of America can forget it and move on," he continued.
After months of pressure from social conservatives, Bush said that a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage was needed to prevent a weakening of "the good influence of society."
"I hope that this incident doesn't affect the fact that an amendment is needed to keep gays from ruining the time-honored principle that anything other than a man-woman marriage is the only true marriage. Any other combination is too weird."
Bush also added, "I know there are a lot of kids that might have been watching that expect Lady Liberty to be the way she always was, but hopefully they will get used to the idea of how she is going to be looked at from now on."