the Jews do not recognize Jesus

[leftofthedial]

The Protestants do not recognize the Pope

The Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

[realisticphish]

1. ha

:D

[leftofthedial]

2. when you look at it that way,

religion has a rather Zen-like quality.

[Lilith Velkor]

3. Jesus was Palestinian

The Pope was a Nazi

Baptists *do* recognize each other at the pharmacy

[leftofthedial]

11. Palestinian Nazi Pharmacists UNITE!

[Deep13]

4. "the Jews do not recognize Jesus"

JEW H (driving): Hey, is that Jesus up ahead hitch-hiking?

JEW W (passenger): I can't tell. Well, we passed him.

H: Should we turn around and pick him up?

W: Nah, we're running late. It's probably not him anyway.

[arwalden]

5. Is He Wearing A Disguise?

[leftofthedial]

6. They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore - Kinky Friedman

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' lone star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
¡°they oughta send you back to russia, boy, or new york city one
You just want to doodle a christian girl and you killed god's only son.¡±

I said, ¡°has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice,
We jews believe it was santa claus that killed jesus christ.¡±
¡°you know, you don't look jewish,¡± he said, ¡°near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.¡°

No, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin' and a-spittin' on the floor,
¡°lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore.¡±

He says, ¡°i ain't a racist but aristitle onassis is one greek we don't need
And them niggers, jews and sigma nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops ¡®n micks ¡®n slopes ¡®n spics ¡®n spooks are on my list
And there's one little hebe from the heart of texas ¡º is there anyone I missed ? ¡±

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, ¡°i'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin' that pack of lies.
If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said ¡®bout aristitle onassis.¡±

No, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
¡°lord, they sho' ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore!¡±
All right!

No, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
They ain't makin' carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door
¡°lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore!¡±

No, we ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out the door
¡°lord, they ain't makin' jews like jesus anymore!¡±

[BikeWriter]

7. Jesus who?

:shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

8. You know. That guy who spoke about loving one another

and peace and taking care of the poor. Remember him?

[BikeWriter]

10. No.

[leftofthedial]

9. Well, there's the Puerto Rican kid over in the next block

But I don't think I'd know him if I saw him.

[BikeWriter]

12. Jesus Valdez? Oh, that was Juan.

[leftofthedial]

13. Jesus is Juan's cousin.

[BikeWriter]

14. Oh, cool.

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. This one, maybe?

Matty and Felipe's other brother.

[leftofthedial]

16. I don't recognize him

odd.

[Major Hogwash]

17. Sure they do, he's the one with that gold baking pan behind his head

in all those pictures!

[leftofthedial]

19. how come no one ever finds the likeness of Jesus in a matzoh ball?

'nuff said.

[ForrestGump]

18. It's the botox

He went Hollywood. It was bound to happen.

"I'll have my disciples call your people..."

[leftofthedial]

20. can hE resurrect hIS career

after the great rift with Mel Gibson?