I think this cat is broken

[dolo amber]

My roommate has a darling sweet kitty called Fran. I've had her down here with me and the doggies all morning, and all's going pretty well. But...I don't know how she works.

I speak to her in the same tone I use with the dogs when I want to praise them, she looks at me like I'm an idiot. I thought maybe she was getting hungry, so I brought down her food. She ignored it. So I held it by her face and blew on it so she'd get the scent. She looked at me like I was an idiot. So now I want her to go back upstairs, by herself, so she's in her comfortable surroundings. I'm snapping my fingers and calling to her. My dogs are climbing up my legs; the cat's looking at me like I'm an idiot.

Er...help? :shrug:

[asthmaticeog]

1. .

:rofl:

Um, yeah, that cat's right. You're an idiot. Cats don't operate like that. At all.

Seriously, have you NEVER had a cat? How do you not know this?

[dolo amber]

9. I've only ever had 2 cats that were *mine*

i.e. nobody else influenced them. They came when called. Hell, one of them even ate lettuce. They never looked at me like I was an idiot. :cry:

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. They were probably too malnourished to look at you like an idiot.

All that lettuce. Jesus.

Poor bastard was probably blind. :(

[dolo amber]

11. She ate lettuce of her own free will

I'm kinda dumb, I'm not cruel. :P

[Magrittes Pipe]

13. Perhaps she was suicidal.

I do know what it's like to live with you.

[DS1]

2. You must vaccuum the fur of cats in order to establish your dominance

over them.

[sundog]

27. .

:spray:

[SofaKingLiberal]

3. LOL

Sounds like a normal cat to me.

:rofl:

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. There is also a box of shit in our house.

Please remember this.

Box of shit.

[Misunderestimator]

5. yeah, and also remember that those stupid dogs will eat

from it if you don't keep it away from them... and then lick you on the face. :puke:

[Magrittes Pipe]

6. That's why the dogs are not permitted to lick me.

Mammals are vile creatures.

[no name no slogan]

26. Want a box of shit in your house? Own a cat.

Headline from an old issue of The Onion

[Arugula Latte]

7. Squint at her... Seriously.

Squinting in kitty language is "I love you; I'm content." Usually kitties will squint back at you if they're relaxed. You can form a bond that way. It's great!

[Fredda Weinberg]

8. It's a blink

and it's universal ... even babies get it.

[dolo amber]

12. Ok, I'm trying this

However, I think she's so disgusted with me that now she won't look at me at all. :D

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. Is that what that means?

I thought she was flirting with me. :shrug:

[Arugula Latte]

19. Well, in a way she is.

My little female gets coquettish with me and blinks and squints and rubs against my legs.

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. Yeah, that's what Lucy does

Without the leg-rubbin', though. She rarely does that. :shrug:

Lotta times she'll look back over her shoulder at me and do the blink-squint thing. It is coquettish. :loveya:

[ET Awful]

14. The cat is operating completely within the manfacturers specifications

Perhaps you need to re-read the owners manual?

:P

[_testify_]

15. All you need to know right here

Dogs: They feed me, love me, take care of all my needs.
They must be gods.

vs Cats: They feed me, love me, take care of all my needs.
I must be a god.

[johnnie]

17. Throw one of these at the kitty

[vademocrat]

18. Here's a User Manual -

http://www.moggies.co.uk/funnies/cat_user_manual.html

"CAT systems are normally user-friendly. However, in certain documented situations, a CAT may pose a danger to the user. Repeated jamming or obstruction of air ports may lead to a CAT deploying its auto-defense mechanisms. Do not strike a CAT. Its CPU clock rate is over 500 mHz. Twin D-shaped five-pin connectors have an average seek rate of 3 milliseconds. Children should not poke anything into the CAT's I/O ports. CAT may BYTE.

In dry, cold weather, a surface electrostatic charge may build up. To avoid electric shock, stand on an insulated surface. Do not operate the CAT above water. This may lead to user damage. Carry a CAT firmly. Do not swing it by its "tail".

Service Life:

As CATs become older, the learning program will recognize every situation. The CAT may become too smart for its own good. The Ctrl key on many CAT units is defective. CATs like to have their own toys. They often have hobbies, such as bird watching or studying tropical fish.

If you properly care for your CAT, it will give you years of loyal service. Many users get a second or even third unit. Most users don't need the extra capacity, but they enjoy the ability to run complex simulation games."

:evilgrin:

[NV Whino]

21. I vote with the cat

You are an idiot. Cats are NOT to be commanded. Cats do whatever they damn well want, whenever they damn well please.

[jukes]

22. CAT!

any comparisons between cats and dogs will make you embarrassed.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

23. Nope, sounds perfectly normal to me.

If you call her, you're really just leaving a message. She'll get back to you later.

When she's hungry, she knows what flavor of food she wants. You have to guess and you'll always guess wrong.

Cats look at you like you're an idiot because you are to a cat.

[Susang]

24. Ignore her

She'll be all over you. ;-)

[tjwash]

25. That's what cats act like.

That is the difference between cat and dog people by the way...

[TheMightyFavog]

28. This thread is useless without pictures

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