Failure to Lunch

[swag]

I got excited two days ago when I discovered a Jamaican restaurant at 13th & Jefferson SW, the predictably named Montego Bay. The cause for my excitement was the menu item "Beef Patties" as displayed on the window menu. I vowed to try these beef patties at my earliest opportunity to see if they matched the flavor of those flaky, saffrony, spicy beef patties I used to enjoy at the Negril Bakery (now upsized and renamed, you guessed it, Montego Bay) on 18th Street in Adams Morgan, DC in the early 80s.

Today I rushed excitedly on foot across the southwest sector of the city, eagerly anticipating my first taste of Jamaican beef patties in over a year (my last visit to New York provided some relief for the incessant beef patty craving).

Bummer: they did not have patties. The second story I got (after I had been told that they had run out of them and I had then asked what the best time of day to get them would be) was that the guy they get the patties from is "under the weather." I wonder what that means, other than that I won't be getting any Jamaican beef patties any time soon.

So I ordered the curried chicken. which was good, certainly authentic, but I was told that they were out of the Caribbean sodas when I ordered a cream soda.

V. disappointing, all of it.

All that and Bob Marley whining incessantly in the background.

Other than that, my tendons are screaming from too much caffeine.

[_testify_]

1. Jamaican beef patties ROCK.

I can get them here in Florida in the freezer section of the grocery store.

[swag]

3. Rub it in. I bet you drink Jamaican hot sauce by the bucket

and swim in 50 different brands of Caribbean cream soda and ginger beer.

[_testify_]

8. Do you have a Spanish-food section at the grocery store?

Beef empanadas are very close to Jamaican beef patties!

I used to have a co-worker whose brother owned a Jamaican cafe. he gave me my first taste of curried goat. It was fantastic.

[XNASA]

2. If you would have arrived stoned like you were supposed to....

...none of that would have mattered.

[swag]

4. That may be true,

but I suspect you are merely trying to rob my story of its poignance.

[Squatch]

5. South Richmond has a hole-in-the-wall Jamaican place

that doubles as a strip club at night. Their food is very tasty...and bountiful.

Can't say much about the evening entertainment.

Oh...and bring a sidearm or a vest.

[mikeytherat]

9. Well, its not Jamaica House, that's up on Broad.

Which fine establishment is it?

mikey_the_rat

[Fenris]

6. Marley, eh?

Not trying to play up stereotypes.

Frankly, if the meat man is under the weather, I'd rather him not be handling my Jamaican beef patties.

(innuendo implied)

That being said, I love Caribbean food. There's an excellent Caribbean/Cuban place in Austin called Habana. At least I think there still is, because their south location burned down and I refuse to go to 6th Street where the other one is.

[jpgray]

7. You have a little grey tumor next to your name

:patriot:

[swag]

10. So that's what that is.

I had thought it to be one of those reservoir-tipped blowjob condoms.

[seemunkee]

11. Try Negril in Silver Spring

Not sure if they have the same patties as the one in Gaithersburg since they are now run by two different people but theirs are pretty damn good. I actually prefer the meatloaf which is a coco bread filled with spiced ground beef.

[swag]

12. I used to have those too,

but now I live in Portland, OR.

When I go on my ever-delayed eating tour of Washington, DC and vicinity, Negril in Silver Spring will be on my list.

Thanks.

[FuzzySlippers]

13. Can you ask your tendons to pipe down?

They're aggravating my migraine.

[swag]

14. At least it's not me causing you pain,

it's only my tendons.

By the way, I'm going to see this tomorrow and I have great seats. I will be wearing black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, black cotton socks, a white cotton haynes undershirt, a mint green Christian Dior shirt, a black four-button Kenneth Cole suit, a dab of Thiery Mugler cologne, a thin film of chapstick on the lips, my simple wedding band, and my skin's natural emollients:

http://www.pbo.org/cgi-bin/dispatch.cgi?Concert__2005_Rome

[FuzzySlippers]

15. I envy you,

and I approve of your wardrobe. Most elegant! Have a great time!

[Missy Vixen]

16. I'm only sorry I can't go

Handel and Corelli? Be still my heart.

Have a great time!
Julie

[swag]

17. Three or four hour drive.

You can make it!