Post here if you're male AND you've found porn magazines in the woods

[DS1]

I have.
My boss has.

We're sure that there's a "Books in the woods" Fairy, probably a large man with hairy legs, who leaves little stashes of porn in the woods for us to find.

Don't tell me this is a Northeast thing, and why they were mostly "Oui" magazines remains to be discovered. Perhaps our fairy culprit is French.

[name not needed]

1. Who hasn't?

[DS1]

5. You live in Jersey, you've probably found my stash

and buried it elsewhere x(

[Squatch]

2. Oui.

But, then again, I grew up in Germany. Even your Sunday hymnal had some T&A on it.

[Bassic]

64. Now that's my kind of church!

Helz' yeah! :woohoo:

[underpants]

76. EXACTLY! Oui it seemed to be very prevalent in the 70's

and I have no idea why.

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. No, but I've found plastic sheeting, duct tape, and blood.

[_testify_]

4. Check.

[ZombieNixon]

6. I haven't found porn in the woods,

but I found a copy of Penthouse on a trail down the Grand Canyon! :7

[DS1]

7. good enough

[asthmaticeog]

8. *raises hand*

I wonder what's up with that. CJ covens seeking inspiration?

[yvr girl]

9. You don't think women are capable of finding porn in the woods?

Bastard.

[DS1]

14. Only the truly gifted

with GIGANTIC TRACTS OF LAND!

[swag]

52. I had not known you were male.

You're going on my ignore list with the rest of the scumbags.

[seemunkee]

10. Hell yes

My brother and I have both found porn in the woods.

[XNASA]

11. I found some in a hobo shack out by the railroad tracks.

Does that count?

[DS1]

15. No

not really, that's like a house, man

[CarpeDiebold]

12. Of course

but then again, I was the one who hid them there lest my folks find them.

[Ekirh]

13. No porn in the woods

But I've found a bottle of blood on the beach.

[mikeytherat]

16. In the woods, in the mountains, in an abandoned house...

I have "porn-dar."

mikey_the_rat

[sundog]

17. yes, a box of playboys somewhere by lake tahoe

:shrug:

[bettyellen]

18. i'm a woman, and it was a wooded urban lot with boulders

that we used to call "the mountain" .
how'd you know one of them was a oui?

[DS1]

19. weird, isn't it?

It's a multinational conspiracy.

I just remember seeing all sorts of bush in the woods when Oui came to town

[bettyellen]

24. i later imagined it's the porn a friend gives you when they get an

anti porn girlfriend and they can't hide it well enough, so they give it to you... but you can't admit that you're too whipped to bring home porn too, so it ends up in the woods. either that or you lack the friend to give it to in the first place.
i dunno, there's something about porn, it's so HARD to throw out.

[AllegroRondo]

20. Heck, I even found some on the Army Navigation course

at Ft Eustace Virginia. The course involves wandering around about 4 square kilometers trying to find 5 grid coordinates using a map and compass. For some reason, the 'porn fairy' decided that point 3 would be a great place to leave a stash.

[ThomCat]

21. Um, yeah.

When I was a kid there was an orange tent that would appear deep in the woods every summer. We would sneak around that tent all the time and see porn mags lying around.

Can you imagine something like that now? The national guard would be searching those woods.

[DS1]

22. if you look up a post, apparently they've got their own woods to search

[last_texas_dem]

23. I haven't, but...

...my best friend back in Junior High school used to hide his "stash" in the woods behind his house. Pretty deep into the woods as his parents (his mom was a fundy) would have flipped if they'd known he had porn. So I wouldn't be surprised if someone else ever accidentally came across his magazines.

[DS1]

25. *snort*

Oh I'm sure someone did :D

[dr.strangelove]

26. Hell YEAH!! Back in the day - Staten Island, Gothels Road North

I grew up near there and there were this great marshy wood area. We found Backdoor Bonanza Volune IV when I was about 10 years old. We had a BetaMax, but my friend had a vhs so we went over there to watch it. there were a few chery magazines and Hustler letters. this was way back when only the centerfold girl was in color, the rest was in black and white on newsprint paper.

That was the greatest day of our young lives.

[DS1]

27. *knowing smile*

[dr.strangelove]

30. Those were the days, when porn was dirty

and I could still climb a fence.

[DS1]

31. That was back when movies had a plot

Now it's

Hi
What's your name?
How old are you?
Okay, suck

[dr.strangelove]

32. And GREAT MUSIC!!

The John Holmes era of porn had the greatest background music in cinema history. I love that base guitar strumming along to the same beat of the "action".

[xchrom]

62. straight porn has more dialogue now apparently.

:evilgrin:
porn from the eighties and seventies was better.

but maybe that's why amateur porn has gotten so popular.

[Orsino]

28. Oui...

...and several others.

[AngryAmish]

29. I did when a kid

Thank god for the July 78 issue of Oui.

[Frank Cannon]

33. Oh. My. God. It happens in the Pacific NW as well.

Oh, how well I remember seventh grade, when a couple of friends of mine and I were out firing off our .22 rifles at some beer cans in the woods and we found a seven-month old stash of Penthouse magazines lying in the dust at our feet. That little treasure trove was like GOLD to us. I don't know who left those Penthouses there, but I have prayed for good fortune for that person ever since.

I thought I was the only one that this ever happened to. I would almost believe that there is some magical elf that encourages these "discoveries" to happen.

[no name no slogan]

34. We found a stash in my old house

My ex-wife was doing something down in the basement one day. She was up in the ceiling doing something or other, and came across a big stack of vintage pr0n.

And not just your standard stroke mags like Penthouse or Oui: some bizarre fetish and bondage stuff from the late 60s, with titles which neither one of us had ever heard of before.

Apparently some of it was pretty rare, and we ended up selling it to a collector for about $500 altogether.

It probably belonged to the son of one of the previous owners, who had a downstairs bedroom during his teenage years. This son is now in his 50s, and we only found his stash a few years ago, so it remained in the basement, undiscovered, for 30+ years.

Gotta love old houses.

[swag]

35. Lived on the prairie when I was finding such things

so it was usually in the barrow pits. Had a theory about "jerker's remorse," wherein the masturbator would discard the porn in a fit of post-orgasmic shame and regret.

[Chiyo-chichi]

36. No, but I have found wood in my porn.

Nobody said that yet??

[mitchum]

37. Yes, and now that I'm a man, I go and leave porn in the woods...

for youths to find. It's the circle of life. Like a freakin' Disney song.

[Derailer]

38. In a port-a-potty

in a campground near the woods

Sadly, I got caught with it by my mother, so yes there is a drawback

Becuase who's going to believe "It's not mine I find out in the fucking campground toilet!"

[Strong Atheist]

71. Welcome to D.U.!

:toast:

[da_chimperor]

39. Yup. Also found a rubber phallus wrapped in panties as a bonus.

This was in the Nevada desert, not too far from Carson City. Our scout masters were horrified and had us burn it all. It was an 'interesting' camping trip, to say the least. :D

[ghostsofgiants]

40. Garbage bag full. Though my friend found them, not me.

I just reaped the benefits.

[hunter]

41. I was hiking with my wife...

... and we spotted such a stash, not well hidden in the bushes. I was almost going to pick one up, when my wife said "Ewwwww. I'll bet the guy doesn't wash his hands either."

About fifteen minutes later we stopped along the trail, and this big mob of guys passes us. They were speaking I don't know what language (tourists, H-1B visa workers, who knows?) and they were all laughing and hooting and carrying on.

Sure enough when my wife and I walked back to the car, all the magazines were gone.

Welcome to the United States.

[tjwash]

42. Hasn't everyone?

Penthouse dude. Playboy doesn't have enough, and Hustler has too much.

[Jara sang]

43. I've found porn along side the road.

A lot of porn. Ex cons and friends of people in prison throw porn out on the highway so when the prisoner cleanup crews come by they get a special surprise.

[YankeyMCC]

44. Yup

[Deja Q]

45. No, but I've seen people groping each other in the woods.

Pity I couldn't take them home, but for some reason they don't fold up very well...

[democracyindanger]

46. Not just a NE thing. Happens in the NW too.

I always assumed it was Sasquatch.

[RagingInMiami]

47. Back in the day when I was a boy scout

We were camped out in the everglades (which is the closest thing we have to woods down here) and we stumbled upon an old shack. So we walked in and found an old mattress and piles of porn magazines.

We were kept entertained until the man who lived there, a bearded man who smelled as if hadn't taken a bath in years, walked in on us and told us to get the hell out of there.

[Blue-Jay]

48. I found a porno book in a barn once when I was a kid.

Does that count?

[Kali]

49. It happens in the southwest desert too.

But I'm not a male so I will shut up now.

[Roon]

50. I did better than that

I was a gay teen, I used to go to the porn stores and go through their dumpsters and found all the gay porn I needed. You asked!!!!

[Pale Blue Dot]

51. Oh, yeah.

My friends and I would spend our weekends looking for porn in the woods. It was from porn in the woods that I learned, at age ten, that women have this thing between their legs called a "cult".

I may have misheard that one... :eyes:

[dpbrown]

53. Hasn't everyone?

Wisconsin woods must have been full of them.

[Kat45]

54. My friend found a rubber dildo by the side of the road.

It was one of the ones that's hollow inside. He put it on top of his Christmas tree.

[Maddy McCall]

55. Psst.

Female. I found porn in the woods by the ball park when I was a kid. I was with a bunch of boys. Does that count?

[Strong Atheist]

73. So what happened to the porn, with you being there? Did it get

"ignored", for the time being?

[realisticphish]

56. It's Johnny Porn-Seed

Planting tiny litle porn trees, hoping they will grow into porn forests

[Strong Atheist]

74. Best reply yet.

:thumbsup:

[XemaSab]

57. I'm female, and I've found pr0n in the woods

[RandomKoolzip]

58. Twice.

Actually, both times it was "Penthouse," and it wasn't really the woods, but a shrubby area bordering a public park.

And yes, it was the Northeast. :wtf:

[RoyGBiv]

59. Several times ...

Mostly when I was a teenager when I used to run around the woods and dig holes, climb trees, etc. for no particular reason.

The most interesting find was a stash of Hustlers, dutifully enclosed in large, air-tight plastic bags, enclosed in a metal box, wrapped again in a trash bag, and buried at the base of a really big tree I liked to climb. I was afraid to open it when I first found it ... thought maybe someone had buried body parts or something.

[HEyHEY]

60. Fuck, all the time when I was a kid

[TreasonousBastard]

61. The ones I find...

all have the pages stuck together.

[Bassic]

63. I have also found porn magazines in the wood.

To this day, I thought I was the only man (I was a teen at the time) to whom this has happened.

Hell at that point, I thought I was blessed by God. :woohoo:

[Random_Australian]

65. I have, but we don't have woods, so the long grass equivalent.

Must be all the fundies. We all know that they have secret stashes.

[meegbear]

66. I have, all girl softcore stuff ...

Playboy, Hustler, Cheri, Oui x(.

[Left_Winger]

67. Yes.

Being a former Marine, need I provide any further explanation?

[LaurenG]

68. I'm not male, I've never found porn in the woods

but for disobedience sake, I'm posting anyway! I grew up in the desert and my brothers and I did find porn between two small boulders surrounded by some yucca's. The only porn there though was playboy no oui.

[Strong Atheist]

69. Wow. What a bizarre topic, which, strangely enough, I can say YES

I did find porn in the woods when I was younger... how strange...

[Radio_Guy]

70. I found some in the woods

In junior high school here in Alabama.

[Beware the Beast Man]

72. Heheh...yes, when I was 14.

Not in the woods, per se, but in a tunnel running through a ravine near my old house. It was mostly cheesy softcore stuff like Cheri and Swank.

[Misunderestimator]

75. And do you actually pick it up when you find it?

No telling what's on it. :puke:

[DS1]

80. Of course. You have to pick them up in order to move them to

a different spot and re-bury them :rofl:

This thread is too funny for me.

[underpants]

77. It was a common occurrence in the 70's

it happened all the time but then I spent MUCH more time in the woods in the 70's than in any other decade of my life so then there is that.

[pfitz59]

78. Abandoned Gold Mine

My brothers and I found a stash in an old mineshaft back in the 60's!

[taterguy]

79. what happened to me

Saw actual naked people in the woods. Then I heard the banjo music . . .