Important facts you need to know

[everythingsxen]

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  
  
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  
  
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
  
  
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  
  
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  
  
• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  

More at http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Read it, learn it, live it, love it.

[LynneSin]

1. When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska

:popcorn:

[everythingsxen]

2. YES!

And it needs more cowbell.

[DS1]

3. I'm partial to the Jack Baeur blend

Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas.


Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.


Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"

[LSK]

4. Jack Bauer can kick Chuck Norris's ass

:popcorn:

[everythingsxen]

5. Chuck Norris once invited all of the other....

...badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.