BREAKING NEWS: Dubya Apologizes to America. Promises to Change.

[philosophie_en_rose]

Some people say that I'm a bad guy,
They may be right,
they may be right.
But it's not as if I don't try,
I just fuck up, try as I might {it's hard work!}

But I can change, I can change!
I can learn to keep my promises, I swear it!
I'll open up my heart and I will share it..
Any minute now I will be born again! (Scooter Libby dances behind Bush)

Yes I can change, I can change!
I know I've been a dirty little bastard
I like to kill! I LIKE TO MAIM! YES, I'M INSANE!
BUT IT'S OKAY, 'CAUSE I CAN CHANGE!! (Bush grabs and kills Scooter Libby)

{Bush sighs}

It's not my fault that I'm so evil...
It's society,
Society.
You see my parents were sometimes abusive, {little violin plays}
And it made a prick of me.

But I can change, I can change!
I can learn to keep my promises, I know it!
I'll open up my heart and I will show it!
Any minute now, I will be born again!

RED AMERICA: But what if you never change? What if you remain a sandy little butthole?

BUSH: Don't be such a twit,
Mother Theresa won't have shit on me!
Just watch! Just watch me change!
Here I go, I'm changing!


Heeeeey, Amurka!