A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday...

[bridgit]

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk,

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50!!! But thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, uou are 50 years of age."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"At McDonalds...I was behind you in line."

:-)

[Wapsie B]

1. ..........

:rofl:

good one!

[4morewars]

2. Ha !

:rofl:

[Ava]

3. LOL!

:rofl:

[Robeson]

4. Bless that 78 year old man's heart....

...if one makes it to that age, they should be able to cop-a-feel for old times sake!...:rofl:

[autorank]

5. Naughty and a little sick (((LOL)))

[Ignacio Upton]

6. Part II: The geriatric sexual harrassment suit of a 50-year old facelift

nt

[bridgit]

7. i'll argue his case myself and i reitterate...

'Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.'


:toast:

[progmom]

8. hee

:hi:

[bridgit]

9. morning kiddo...

:hi: :donut:

[progmom]

10. morning bridgit!

We just finished our mushroom omellets, and now relaxing with some coffee. Well, I'm relaxing while The Boy and my girl build lego castles. :) This is the life.

[auntAgonist]

11. hey Progmom!

I was wishing I'd taken your phone # with me yesterday. (my brain somedays!) I went to Bloomfield Hills and then came home through Ann Arbor. Stopped at Whole Foods and had a bite to eat there. Picked up some nutritious stuff and then came home.

aA

[progmom]

12. you're kidding??

we stopped at Whole Foods at about 7 to get some veggies and a roasted chicken. were you there then?

[auntAgonist]

14. ackkkk no .. I was there around 4pm!

dagnabit it anyway :(

I'm putting your number in my wallet!!

[LostinVA]

13. hahahahaha

[auntAgonist]

15. too funny!

:rofl: