Life is incredibly depressing sometimes

[WindRavenX]

I just found out one that the mutual friends of my SO and I are divorcing-- for some reason, perhaps after having a depressing day this feels much worse than it actually it, but it hurts for some reason. My parents are separated, after subjected my younger sister and I for years of constant fighting and drinking problems, and I am relieved. But when mutual friends of ours split up-- I don't know, but somehow, I feel myself becoming afraid that their fate is my fate as well. And this oddly scares me.

[undeterred]

1. Its not contagious

And sometimes it is a good thing when people split. My parents stayed together miserably for 40 years but it didn't give me a very positive view of marriage.

Some things are out of our hands, but relationships are something we have a lot of power over.

[no name no slogan]

2. My divorce was the best thing that happened to me

After we split, my stress level went WAAAAY down. Once I was out of the relationship, I was able to see how unhealthy it was, and how passive/aggressive my ex- was.

However, I did learn a lot in the ten years we were together. I also know what mistakes I made, and not to repeat them. Plus I've met a very wonderful woman who I love dearly-- and who I never would have met had I still been married.

[WindRavenX]

3. I though I escaped my parent's poisonous home environment

But as I get older and become involved in relationships, I've realized I've been severely fucked up because of them. Amazingly, I have a positive view of marriage and relationships, but after seeing the bad side, I'm terribly afraid that I'll somehow fuck things up :cry:
Yes, I'm glad my parents split up, but they waited too long. Splitting up is a good thing in many cases, and you should never be afraid to leave if it is truly the right thing to do.

[Shine]

4. Yes, you're right. And the exact OPPOSITE is true, as well.

It's all about perspective, imo.

I don't view Divorce, in and of itself, necessarily as a "bad" thing. Yes, it's painful and depressing as hell to go through, but people DO survive divorce. It happens all the time. Kids survive, too.

My parents divorced when I was 6 yrs old and although, at the time, it was incredibly tumultuous and difficult, in the Big Picture, I would not be the person I am today, had they stayed together.

The bottom line is, imo, EVERY experience, especially the "negative" ones, provides opportunity for insight, growth and change. It's part of the whole "silver lining" concept.

Sorry you're bummed, though. Here's a :hug:, from me, to you.....

[Redstone]

5. Sometimes it's tougher to deal with it happening to others

than it is to deal with it happening to yourself. I know exactly how you feel.

Redstone