Man Denies Masturbation Charge Claiming He Doesn't Even HAVE A Penis

[matcom]

<snip>

Joseph "Donald" Scordato offered a rare defense when Ridgewood police charged him with masturbating in public.

"That's not possible," the 81-year-old man told police after his arrest in September. "I don't have a penis."

Scordato, of Paterson, appeared for his arraignment Monday in state Superior Court in Hackensack on one count of lewdness.

Brought into the courtroom in a wheelchair, he fell asleep while he waited for his case to be called. He said he wasn't able to hire a lawyer because he was in the hospital.

State Superior Court Judge William Meehan instructed him to get a lawyer before his next hearing on April 24.

"Can I represent myself?" Scordato asked.

"Then you will have a fool for a client," the judge replied.

Authorities say Scordato parked his car across the street from a movie theater on Cottage Place on Sept. 16, unzipped his pants and began masturbating in the middle of the afternoon.

http://www.northjersey.com/page.php?qstr=eXJpcnk3ZjcxN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXkzJmZnYmVsN2Y3dnFlZUVFeXk2OTE1NTcw

[Deja Q]

1. It seems Scordato isn't the only, um, "headless wonder" afoot...

Shouldn't the judge ask for proof?

[Robb]

2. Insert Spiro Agnew joke here

:D

[matcom]

3. LMFAO!!

:rofl:

[CanuckAmok]

4. "Then you will have a fool for a client..."

Judges are pretty funny.

[Twillig]

7. "Yeah, I hope he has some good dick jokes."

some "purple veined" dick jokes. Fucking judges.

[unblock]

9. this is a very old legal joke. VERY old.

[marzipanni]

5. The old geezer was just trying to wake it up....

It is not literally missing, just tired and wanting to sleep all the time.

[LiberalEsto]

6. Isn't he Lorena Bobbitt's second husband?

:evilgrin:

[TK421]

8. Low self-esteem is ONE thing...but.....hey, it still happens, right?

:toast:

[Initech]

10. Insert joke about Hummer H2 owners here

[uppityperson]

11. should be easy enough to prove, though...

I don't have one either yet could masturbate in public. :shrug:

[Fleshdancer]

12. That excuse didn't work for me!

So screw him! It shouldn't work for him either. :grr: