Can a 50-year-old and a 25-year-old have a deep relationship?

[Doctor_J]

Are those april-october relationships as satisfying emotionally as ones between peers, or are they just about ego-stroking and sex?

Inquiring minds want to know...

[Radical Activist]

1. A deep parent-child relationship? Yes.

hehe :)

[arwalden]

2. Absolutely!

Who are we to judge such a thing that occurs between consenting and informed adults? As long as everyone involved is happy, I'm all in favor of it!

[blondeatlast]

70. Absolutely, and I don't care what the relationship is based on.

Love, sex, money, security, as long as those involved are in agreement, let them be.

I hate to say it, that wacky blonde whose name is escaping this not-so-wacky blonde at the moment deserves the money.

The guy looked very happy is all I can say.

[judaspriestess]

3. If levitra is involved, probably pretty deep

I was just watching a commercial on this stuff, my god will these companies stop at nothing.

"did you know high blood pressure can cause ED? did you know diabetes can cause ED"

[Wapsie B]

4. I have an uncle who's in his 80's

with a wife who's in her late 40's early 50's. They've been married for years. He had no $$ to his name. But he's got the charm and the gift of the silver tongue. If the emotions and love is there between two consenting adults I say hell yes! Can't be any worse a track record for marriage than there is now.

[RevCheesehead]

5. I'm pretty sure the 50-yr-old would like to think so.

25-year-old? Ask him/her next week. :evilgrin:

[Dukkha]

6. my biggest difference was 13 years

I was 33 she was 20. Got bored and frustrated with her quickly. The experience & maturity just wasn't there. A bit shallow and self-centered too.

[Left Is Write]

7. I guess it depends on the personalities involved.

[tuvor]

8. That would be up to the parties involved.

[miss_american_pie]

9. It depends.

How's that for definitive? ;)

[dorktv]

10. I have a habit of liking guys in their midthirties. Have since I was 17.

so I am sure it would work out.

[Xipe Totec]

11. No. It takes two 25 year olds to make it an even match

Just kidding!

It takes to 50's to keep up with one 25.

:evilgrin:

[Bucky]

23. You should teach math...

at the Playboy mansion

[Xipe Totec]

47. We should all be so lucky

Well, half of us anyway.

[In_The_Wind]

12. I don't see why not.

15 years age difference wasn't a problem for me. :)

[2bfree]

13. I think so.

My husband of 24 years is 18 years older then I am and I think we have a really good marriage and we are very happy together even after all of this time. Why so judgmental about a relationship between two consenting adults?

[Ivan Sputnik]

14. Depends on the maturity levels of the two individuals

Fifty is (for some) the new 40, and some 20-somethings are more mature than some people who are quite a bit older.

[NNadir]

15. I am 11 years older than my wife.

We love each other profoundly. I have had 20 years of ecstacy with her and I look forward to 20 more. I have never been more compatible with anyone.

[alarimer]

16. I don't know

Personally that kind of age difference gives me the creeps. I could never date someone that much older than myself. Reminds me of my dad (ewww!). I get responses to my personal ads from time to time from 60 years olds (I am 37) and I delete them right away without even responding. I always some sort of age range to eliminate those too much older than me or too much younger. Not that they pay attention to that.

Of course that's me. What others do does not concern me overly much.

[LeftyMom]

17. No way.

I'm 25. 50 is my parents' age. I prefer men somewhat older than myself (early-mid 30's is about right) but not old enough to have kids my age. Ick.

[chaska]

18. I did 42/21. And yes, it can be a beautiful thing. Love is love. Age is...

numbers.

[samplegirl]

19. What would you talk about

after sex?

[EstimatedProphet]

20. Can they? Yes. Will they? Uh...

It's not that likely. too many different needs for people with that kind of age separation.

[Robeson]

21. When I was 25 I had a relationship with a woman who was 55....

...but it was a purely physical relationship. I think we both knew that the gulf between our ages was large, and thus we didn't really want to make it a "deep" emotional relationship, even though we never said that to each other.

[Bucky]

22. In my heart I want to say yes, but then I think about Hef & how he had to

...break up with one of his six 22yr old girlfriends because she kept accidently knealing on his colostomy bag in the bedroom. A couple of years ago I was going out with a 24 year old (I was 40 then and I swear it wasn't a midlife crisis; I swear) and we got along pretty good for a spell. But no, it never got very deep. We could talk about her music and some shared interests, but age really is an important factor in what a person finds interesting. Oh, and there was still that whole future thing. When I think about the future, I look forward to my kid graduating and going off to college and then being able to travel more. She wanted to have kids one day, which is a big huh-uh for me. I suppose there are some 40 year olds who might want to have kids again, but that's a little to Ed McMahon for my tastes.

We're still friends, by the way, but when the break up looks inevitable then it's kinda hard to be spontaneous and "in the moment."

[Doctor_J]

26. That's my point

A 25-year-old knows so little about life compared to me I think it would be difficult to have much conversation. I guess some people make it work, but looking at it from the outside the intellectual connection would be nearly impossible.

[Bucky]

28. On the other hand, I got to date a young hot chick

I mean, that's gotta count for something, right?

[NewJeffCT]

37. Of course it does

Kudos to you dude!

I was a bit younger than you, but after my ex-wife filed for divorce in 1999, I was 33 years old and ended up dating tons of college student aged women. That was a lot of fun, and I made up for all those years in college & just out of college where I was too shy to ask those women out.

[Doctor_J]

43. Oh, yeah.

Certainly a big upside there. I'm sure it would be a big boost for the ego too.

[kay1864]

53. Huh?

then I think about Hef & how he had to break up with one of his six 22yr old girlfriends because she kept accidently knealing on his colostomy bag in the bedroom.

You're joking, right? Hef doesn't wear a colostomy bag. He had a minor stroke years ago, but that doesn't require a colostomy bag.

[Guy Fawkes]

24. Sure...

just not with this man:

[XemaSab]

25. totally

The only relationship I've ever had that I thought was really based on shared interests and a similar outlook in life was when I was 25 and he was 45. :shrug:

[murielm99]

27. My first husband was 22 years older than me.

It was true love. He died when he was 49.

Would it have continued working? I don't know. But it was great while it lasted.

[MountainMama]

64. My sympathies to you.....

I don't think age matters a bit. If two hearts respond to each other, what does it matter how old they are?

Emotional connections aren't dependent on age.

[laheina]

29. I think so.

With two compatible people that have similar interests and know themselves and each other anything is possible. :)

[leftofthedial]

30. which sex is which?

[Wapsie B]

31. Personally I think the charges of ego-stroking and sex

come from those bent out of shape from seeing two people who don't give a shit about societal norms. I know younger women who look at a guy who's dating a woman that young as a child molester. Excuse me?
If the feelings are there go for it. Same with older women angry at the guy because he's not dating someone his age. What business is it of theirs? Are they sore that a man goes for younger women? Probably. But to each his own. He's not attracted to them. He's attracted to who he's attracted to just like everyone else. Move on. For someone bellyaching about age difference it would be no different than for a guy like me to lament that women don't like heavier men. Some do some don't. Age is but one factor in the make up of a relationship.

[laheina]

33. How is a man dating a younger woman *not* a societal norm?

If you take a look at society or our media, that is usually the case.

There are no rebels in that situation.

[Wapsie B]

52. I was talking about a large difference in ages.

Aren't the majority of marriages between partners closer in age?



"Families and Living Arrangements" report, which is constantly being updated,
has data on spouses who are separated by 6+ years in age. In the 1999
report, couples in which the man was 6+ years older accounted for 20%
of the married couples; in 3.3% of the cases the woman was 6+ years
older:
http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam.html


Source: Google Answers

[laheina]

56. I guess "large" is relative.

My opinion is that 6+ years is fairly large age disparity, and 20% is a significant part of the population.

[Wapsie B]

58. Yes it is relative.

20% is significant but that still means 80% are within 6 years of each other.

[Wapsie B]

59. Yes it is relative.

20% is significant but that still means 80% are within 6 years of each other.

[Vektor]

32. Absolutely...

Age truly is just a number.

[xchrom]

34. like anything else -- depends on the two people involved.

[alarcojon]

35. Possible, but what about the power differential?

The older person would have far deeper life experiences. If the older person is male, you have an older man with a younger woman - a serious social inequality.

I believe there are individual couples who can overcome these issues, but I would suspect most such couples pretty much skirt them and the relationship falls apart or never gets very deep.

Then there is the issue of the woman in her sexual prime having to change her lover's diapers...

[billyskank]

36. I don't understand that comment

"Then there is the issue of the woman in her sexual prime having to change her lover's diapers..."

[alarcojon]

40. A woman in her 40's (generally considered her sexual peak)

with a man in his seventies who has to wear a diaper because of his weak bladder and incontinence issues. More generally, a vibrant, sexual woman with a guy whose sex drive is way less than hers and who might need medication to even be able to perform.

[billyskank]

42. Fair enough

but why is that worse than a 40-year old man (not as his peak, but still active I'd have thought) with a post-menopausal partner?

Either way you cut it, there's going to be a big inequality there.

[alarcojon]

45. That would also be a problem

I just used the older man-younger women scenarion because I believe it to be more common. For that matter, you could have gay partners with this type of age differential.

A younger man/older woman scenario would likely have less of a difference in sex drive, but there would still be the medical issues I alluded to. For example, a guy in his 40's or 50's having to be the caregiver for a woman in her 60's or 70's with a range of health problems.

[Nikia]

49. The future is why I never considered dating anyone a lot older

I didn't want to end up with someone who would be old while I was still young, even if they weren't "old" yet.
There was also the weirdness issue of dating someone my father's age (my father is only 20 years older than me). On a related subject, if one partner has children close to the age of the other partner, there can be a lot of conflict between the children and the younger partner, a lot more than normal step parent/step child situations.

[Redstone]

38. About as deep as the 50-year-old guy's pockets are.

That's how deep.

Redstone

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. Of course they can! Even romantic, loving, and wonderful,

if that's what you meant.

[GalleryGod]

41. Sure.

Sorry, no deep, new age, DU analysis,here...just a vote in the affirmative.:loveya:

[kay1864]

54. Amazingly, that's only a 16-year age difference

Just looked it up on Wikipedia. Sure looks like a lot more in that picture though. And they've been married 17 years!

Lots more here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_relationships_with_age_disparity

[MissB]

63. Fascinating link. I had no idea that Demi Moore and Ashton

Kuchner had married.

[CanuckAmok]

68. I'm more amazed that Tony Randall was straight!

Wow, he sure hid it well!

[wildhorses]

44. I don't see why not...

as a two-time loser who am I to judge?

[Mutley]

46. Sure, why not?

There can be huge emotional differences between a 50 year old and a 25 year old. They'd likely be interested in very different things. A 25 year old is just beginning to enter the world as an independent adult, and a 50 year old has been there for awhile.

That being said, there are certainly situations where such a relationship would work. It all depends on the circumstances.

[KG]

48. is there something bad about ego-stroking and sex?

:shrug:

[DrGonzoLives]

50. That's what I want to know

n/t

[alarcojon]

51. Not necessarily

but the question was about a deep relationship.

[Wapsie B]

55. I think some people have this idea

that all that stuff needed to be taken care of while in their youth. That if someone's older they should be wanting someone to "grow old" with them. Excuse me while I :puke:

[Doctor_J]

65. Not at all

that should be PART of a good relationaship. Just not the whole thing.

[mdmc]

57. it can be deep

i hope

[RetroLounge]

60. I'll let you know in 5 years

When I'm 50...

RL

[miss_american_pie]

66. You think they'll be any 25 year olds left

within a 50 mile radius of you five years from now? ;)

[RetroLounge]

69. Hmm, good point

I may have to branch out...

RL

[u4ic]

61. Hey, anything's possible

It would depend on the two in question...so what if she's looking for a father figure, and he's looking to regain some youth...if they're both consenting adults, and if it works for them...

I used to get hit on by 50 year olds when I was 25. I couldn't have done it...significantly older guys did nothing for me.

Yet I know two couples who have at least 20 years age difference, and they've both been together for ages (though they met when both women were in mid-late 30's, and the men were late 50's).

I went out with someone 12 years younger recently, and frankly, found it rather boring. For me, a 25 year age difference would be waaay too much. I'd either be looking at a retiree (65), or jail time (15). :rofl:

[Taverner]

62. Hell, why not?

But let me tell you as a 35 year old, there's no way I'd be attracted to the mind of any woman under 30.

Common experiences are a big thing for me.

And besides, 30-something women are just plain SMOKIN!

[Doctor_J]

72. You got that right

it's nice to have something to talk about while you're on a long walk. What do 23-year-olds have to talk about? They've never had a job, or a mortgage, or kids... Could you learn to talk about how Marissa and Ryan are doing in the OC? :crazy:

[CanuckAmok]

67. gosh, I sure hope so!

Why else would I want to live to 50?!

[Deja Q]

71. Well, that depends on how lengthy he is, right?

:yoiks: