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I lived in a house for 15 years in SF Bay Area, the one I lived in before my current residence. It was a cute home, next to the railroad tracks, so I'm used to sleeping near some really loud noise. A two-story house whose roof is quite distant from the other two-story houses nextdoor, as relatively expected. I'd probably say the distance between the neighbor to the left would be at least 15 or more feet, and the roof to the neighbor to the right, which was significantly more recessed on the lot, easily 40 or more feet. Y'know, front lawns and the like, basic suburb expanse.
The front door, which led straight into the large 30' long, 20' wide living room, with full 2 story high sloping ceiling, which was basically the chalet roof above (sloping towards the right-side neighbor). There was a medium-sized tree, quite pretty, delicate cone-shape, had maple-looking leaves, and the "fruit" were these spikey balls; this tree was around 15' high at the time. There's really no way to get to the roof climbing this tree; you'd have to be at the tip of this delicate, swaying cone and you'd still be a good 10+ feet away and 5+ feet short. The big palm tree in the back yard was more fat than tall, reaching around 10 feet in height, and was a good 15 feet away from the roof. The only really tall enough tree to reach the roof was a eucalyptus that was possibly 30 feet tall, but this was easily 60 feet away (long driveway).
Oh, but what does all these measurements have to do with the price of tea in China, you say? Well, maybe you can answer a question that has stumped our family for over a decade now. You see, one time, when my grandfather and older brother came to spend the night at my house, I had to sleep on the couch in the large living room. The couch was against the wall, which would be close to the center of the house, where the pointy part of the roof would be. It was around 10' from the back door, so 20' from the front, and 20' from the outer wall. It was directly below a balcony opening that opened directly into the master bedroom where my parents were sleeping. I was in a very sullen mood, common for teenagers, and was thinking very self-destructive, challenging thoughts.
I, in a fit of fury of my lot in life, made a direct challenge, screaming it in my head, to God. "I curse you, I hate you! Everything you have done for me, and the whole world, is nothing but evil! I want the end of my existence now! I will never serve you, so you might as well send anyone, even the devil himself, to come claim me! But I make a joke... you are powerless to do anything. I claim the devil himself to come claim me now, you coward!" And at that very moment a large 'thump' lands on the roof right above the front door. And then the 'thump' 'walks,' in footsteps that sound too dense and focused than a regular foot (I've heard people walking on the roof before during retiling the shake), crosses the roof in 5 large strides to directly above where I'm sleeping. And stops. Needless to say I'm beside myself in fear. A thousand unspoken apologies and half-remembered prayers are rattled off. And, once I feel that there's the slimmest chance I might be 'spared,' in the meekest, shakiest voice you've heard I scream, "Mom! Mo-o-o-om! Mo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-om!"
Everyone in the house heard it, it woke everyone. Everyone in the house was utterly petrified by the sound, and only after I started screaming did people actually shake off the paralysis and act. My brother later mentioned how my little dog, who was asleep on the bed with him, was fully awake and on his back looking up at the roof, but shock still, just staring, staring, even as my brother shook him. The dog only roused a few moments after my mom first reached me, and even then, it wasn't interested in going downstairs to the living room to see what the commotion was about (which it almost always did, cute lil' busy-body). It didn't even want to leave the bed, let alone the room, and it kept looking up as it moved cautiously the next few moments. It refused commands, poor baby was obviously scared, like everyone.
But none as me, for I was in essentially hysterics. A full confession came forth, and there was a lot of nervous exchanged glances. In the days that followed we tried to rationalize it away, but we were stumped. We kept coming back that "it is what it is." But that's an unpleasant answer to the faithful and the non-believer. The best we could come up with is a large owl trying to catch a roof rat. But, this 'owl' sounded heavier, and louder, than any 150+ lb. roofing man we've ever experienced with that roof. And it 'walked' in strides that covered 20' in 5 steps. We also live right next to the salt flats region of the SF Bay Area, is this a prolific area for owls? Maybe. Or maybe it is what it is.
PS: When we had reroofing done later the roofer said we had some weird broken shake. The damaged shake was spaced irregularly, but most weird about it was that it was more like shattered wooden shake, like someone kicked it into pieces. When my dad remembered that story, he asked where the roofer found these weird pieces. The roofer mentioned and pointed, "One there, another there, another there..." he's pointing along the same path from directly above where I slept towards the door, "and around a pair or so right here," pointing to the patch of roof directly above the door, where we first heard it land... ;) Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Pleasant dreams!
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