If you could interview Jesus Christ, what would you ask him?

[kentuck]

Assuming you could be in your favorite place, out in the woods or down by the stream, and no one there but you and Jesus, what would you ask him? Would it be political? Would it be personal? Would it be about religion? Or about philosophy? Or would you tell him a joke just to break the ice? :)

[ret5hd]

1. i'd ask him to be more specific.

[BlooInBloo]

2. Can't you do anything about your followers?

Please?

They're killing and molesting a lot of people.

[Proud_Democratt]

3. Are you gay....or straight?

I would ask him that.
And ask if he and Mary Magdalene ever had sex.

[Synnical]

38. Yeah, me ,too

Not that I agree that he ever existed.

-Cindy in Fort Lauderdale

[saltpoint]

4. I'd ask him if he needed some Dramamine after observing the morons

who puff themselves up in his name while they gut free speech and ruin constitutional democracy.

[TAPat]

5. I'm thinking...

I am not much on religion, but Jesus as a guy....
Just a "regular" guy with a whole lot to say...
Man, where to start... still working on those ?????s
Thanks for the brain/heart/soul food :)

[NJ Democrats]

6. Were you really trying

to form a new religion or reform Judaism?

[Proud_Democratt]

7. Excellent question.

[NJ Democrats]

10. Thanks

I've always thought the second one, and people (not Jesus) later created Christianity. but I don't know why they did.

[RoyGBiv]

11. Politics n/t

[Proud_Democratt]

13. Started by Paul, not Jesus

[NJ Democrats]

17. I know

I said not Jesus.

[Proud_Democratt]

19. I was agreeing or reiterating

:)

[NJ Democrats]

23. Oh, ok

[Proud_Democratt]

16. $$$$$$$$$$

[RagAss]

25. or destroy religion all together.....

[Mr_Spock]

34. That would be a great starting point

I've often wondered that myself...

[DetroitProle]

48. I've been wondering about that myself.

I believe in God in some form. I'm nominally a Christian. But was Jesus really what they make him out to be, or was he just a really enlightened dude? I just sometimes get the feeling that some people got way too carried away with his story and turned him into something that he's not. He makes more sense to me as a prophet.

[WhiteTara]

8. why won't you get off the cross?

I feel so sorry for the guy. Every Sunday they hang him up again. There is he, all bloody up on the wall. Hell, I don't even like to look at stuffed deer heads, looking at him is too much. Turns me off on the whole religion

[Left Is Write]

83. There is no bloody Jesus on the cross at my church.

Our crosses are empty.

[Merlot]

9. I'd ask him if he got a laugh out of the cartoon I just saw...

it said "What Would Jesus Do?" and it showed Jesus punching out gwb.

[alfredo]

12. Boxers or Briefs?

[mitchtv]

14. If God hated Gays

why did he make so many?

[C_U_L8R]

15. So many questions...

but perhaps Jesus could tell us...
is he gonna roast George Bush over an open flame
or is he just gonna toss em on the hot coals ?

I'd be curious what becomes of Fundies too...
maybe they get reincarnated as anal warts.
(especially Pat Robertson and that Focus on Family idiot)

So many more detestable characters... Ann Coulter...
the war mongers.. the corporate greed-pigs.. etc..

I'd just ask .. what would YOU do Jesus?
(and please do ! )

[magellan]

18. I'd ask him

...why didn't he see fit to give everyone a brain and a conscience to go with free will.

[madrchsod]

20. "what is it all about, Alfie?"

[Ksec]

21. I'd ask him what tomorrows lottery numbers are

[Poiuyt]

22. I'd ask him if he'd like to have lunch with Einstein

[madeline_con]

24. Why do you allow peole like DUH-bya to live? n/t

[oxymoron]

26. Validate parking? (nt)

[Steve A Play]

27. Questions and Answers from a previous DU interview!

From the Best of DU collection!

I'm the Son of God. Ask Me anything! :rofl:

I can't wait for His second coming! :)

[cynatnite]

51. That completely rocked!

Thanks.

:rofl:

[Steve A Play]

From the 'old testament' DU

A kinder gentler DU for sure. :)

[medeak]

28. have you met Buddha?

what about Hindus?... mother earth for native americans...

Are you all just spiritual guides and all the same?

[Haole Girl]

29. When is the 2nd coming?

(that's what I would want to know)

[scipian]

30. Jesus Christ

I'd ask him whether the new testament completely overides the old or not.

[carpetbagger]

31. In the last 2000 years, who "got" what you were talking about?

That would be the one question that would answer most of the others.

[cushla_machree]

32. Are you schizophrenic?

And maybe, are you gay? I have a feeling you are. Regardless, please clear this up for us.

[Dinger]

33. Deeply Personal Questions Aside,

I'd ask him "Jesus, would you please make bu$h and his ilk ALL pay for what they have done, and would you save the world, please?"

[WiseButAngrySara]

35. First, I would want him to clarify his position on reincarnation, since

all of the other major religions, including the early gnostic Christian religions, believe in reincarnation.

Next, I would like to ask him why he urged his followers to "Go ye therefore and baptize all Nations" since he was well aware that most people didn't really understand what he was saying (he had to talk in parable, and the disciples were warned about "not casting pearls before swine"). Considering the utter ridiculousness that most of Christianity has become, does he now regret this mass inculcation of his spiritual beliefs?

How does he like being worshipped as God incarnate, when he said "Why do you call me good, when none is good but God," and also implied that we were gods ("Is it not written in your law, "I said, ye are gods.'" John 10: 34)

What does he make of the modern day temple money changers in his name, and How would he handle the gross hypocricies in his name?

And I would like to know his position on the equality of woman, and his views on the death penalty, torture, and War.

Many others, but can't keep up the stream just now!

[NMMNG]

36. If you knew ahead of time what horrors would be committed in your name

by your followers would you do anything differently?

[MaggieSwanson]

37. Easy one.

"You give to the poor, feed the hungry, love your neighbor as yourself. You advocate non-violence. WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?"

:shrug:

[Atman]

39. "Why is your dad such a dick?"

I mean, really...he lets tens of thousands of Rwandans and Fallujahns die while one of his so-called "believers" shits all over the world in his name, yet he does nothing to stop him. What a freakin' TOOL. Your dad has issues, man. What's up with that?

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

45. Nice Blasphemous Garbage There. You Seem To Want To Declare That You

know the lord's will, or his function, or his plan. But you don't oh mere mortal. You do not know these things. The lord's responsibility is not to save us from ourselves, or to be a beacon of protection from anything bad happening. It just doesn't work that way. Condemning the lord for such things is just foolish and unwise, as it displays a gross ego of delusion that the person believes they can actually decipher and speak for the lord or attest to his plan. But you, dear sir, cannot do those things, leaving your reply as nothing more than illegitimate narrow-minded blasphemy.

[Atman]

47. It can't be blasphemous, as I don't believe in your god.

That's one of the things you guys have to understand. I'm as absolute in my beliefs as you are in yours. You can say I blaspheme, but I only do so in YOUR mind. Not mine. My mind doesn't buy into the floating ghost stuff. You want all of us non-believers to respect your views, but you've never, ever in any way respected mine.

Condemn me to hell if that is your belief. If you're so convinced I'll go there, send me your address. I'll mail you a postcard when I arrive.

[Greyhound]

49. That's it, you must be killed now

preferably after a lengthy torture session.

[RB TexLa]

52. Then why would you say that you say that you would ask him about his

"Dad"? If you were to interview someone you believe to be a mortal man, you would then believe him to have a mortal father. Your posting really doesn't follow any logic, if you had questions as to if there is a devine, supernatural God perhaps you would want to ask such questions. If you as you say do not believe in such and are absolute in your beliefs why would you ask a mortal man about his father and ask in a manner that assumes his mortal father would have any such power in regards to your concerns?

[Atman]

57. I don't have to follow your "logic"

I do have to live in your world, though, remember? I'm part of a very small minority, or so I'm told; those who ADMIT that they don't believe in a divine power who is threatening to send them to hell if they don't behave. So I play to the audience.

You guys just don't seem to get it.

[RB TexLa]

58. not being insulting, just don't see why you would say

you are absolute in your beliefs yet you say you would ask someone something about an entity you absolutely don't believe exists.

You didn't answer that, you simply said that was somehow a logic unto me or a group and said that I have threatened a condemnation on you to something you don't believe in which I haven't.

[Atman]

61. I didn't say I don't believe JESUS existed, did I?

DID I?

My post wasn't that long ago, was it, that you can't recall what I said? I do have to play in YOUR world. But still, I say "OH GOD" during sex and "GOD DAMN IT!" when I hit my thumb with a hammer. And I answer hypothetical questions with hypothetical answers.

I was raised in the Catholic church.

But I got better.

[RB TexLa]

63. Did I say you didn't?

from post #52
If you were to interview someone you believe to be a mortal man, you would then believe him to have a mortal father.

at least you answered finally: "I answer hypothetical questions with hypothetical answers."

Works for me. Have a nice weekend :)

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

62. What A Load Of Malarky.

You claim to not believe, yet you post a reply full of attacks and accusations of the Lord as if you DO believe in him and DO believe that he is supposed to do things certain ways. So what you must underdstand, oh non-believer, is that you either believe or you don't. You can't say you don't believe and then go on to slander him for not being all the things you want him to be. See, cause that's delusional and illogical. If you didn't believe in him, you couldn't question him and you could dislike him. You simply wouldn't acknowledge the concept of his existance. So from where I stand, your claim of being a nonbeliever is farcicle, since your whold post shows you do in fact believe. The problem is, is that you have preconceived notions of how and who he is supposed to be, and it is your expectations of him that have been tarnished. But it is also those false expectations you created for him, by foolishly thinking you could understand his will, that failed you. Not HE. The expectations have failed you.

So I don't buy into your nonbeliever stuff, as it seems like you are a heck of a believer. But that aside, for sake of argument, don't tell me about not respecting your views since you number one, didn't mention anything about your alternative beliefs in your post, and two, your post was so full of disrespect for the Lord our god it is laughable that you would even have the gall to demand respect for it.

Nighty night.

[Atman]

67. LOL!

That must be so cool to be able to twist ANYTHING one says into proof that god exists and that the dissenter is simply confused and "delusional!" I think AA uses that same approach...if you deny you have a problem, it only proves you have a problem.

Malarky, indeed. You seem well versed in it. Happy Easter.

[Arugula Latte]

86. Why should non-believers respect what we perceive as a figment

of imagination? It's like I said to you: "How DARE you not respect Santa Claus! That's blasphemy!"

Just because some people believe in ghosts doesn't mean everyone has to.

[Warren DeMontague]

54. "Blasphemy"

is a victimless crime.

[kid a]

75. you forgot something in your reply

gotta be :sarcasm:

[lpbk2713]

40. Do you think Charlton Heston is a big pain in the ass or what?

And about televangelists and mega-churches. Aren't they really using your name in vain?

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

41. Boxers or briefs?

Hey, if some school girl can ask the President (Clinton) that question, isn't it fair to ask JC the same question?

My second question would be, "Is there life on other planets, and if so, are they fans of 'American Idol'?"

[JVS]

59. Commando!

[KoKo]

42. Why, Jesus, do people refuse to "do unto others as you would have them

do unto you?"

The "Golden Rule." Why, Jesus do people refuse to honor this? Or, do they suddenly believe that Jesus meant "Do unto the Financially Clueless whatever one can do to suck the money and life unto them so as to leave a dry carcus?"

Was Jesus a Capitalist? Would he feel that the "Money Changers in the Temple" were doing GOOD just because we have a Religious Fundamentalist as our "P-Resident?"

Would Jesus have changed the "Rules" just because the "Twin Towers" were attacked on "9/11?"

George Bush II seems to believe that...because "God speaks to him."

:shrug:

[JVS]

56. I could answer that one! Ask him something harder.

[Zorra]

43. Dude, do you need a place to crash for awhile? n/t

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

44. I Would Ask That The Lord's Will Be Done Here On Earth As It Is In Heaven.

[Fox Mulder]

46. Are you really the son of God?

That's what I'd ask.

[cynatnite]

50. What's the deal with Mary Magdalane and Judas?

Why do so many christians kick them to the curb?

[LouisianaLiberal]

53. Man, do you know how many people have died because

you didn't explain yourself better? I mean, if you had explained the trinity better, a lot of people wouldn't have been slaughtered over the last two thousand years. And that's just one of the doctrinal disputes...

[Warren DeMontague]

55. AFAIC, everyone is the Buddha-nature. Me, You, Jesus.

Therefore, I don't think he would be in posession of any metaphysical answers that I wouldn't be better off looking for inside myself.

However, if such a person existed in actuality 2000 years ago, he might be able to answer some interesting questions in a historical regard. That's probably where my questions would lie.

[JVS]

60. Would you like some beer and nachos?

[alittlelark]

64. Utilizing his 'New Testament' I would ask 'What I Could Do?'

And HOW could I ENERGIZE the NEW TESTAMENT (nothing anti-gay or pro-life to be found)??? I would be a willing apostle (currently atheist).

I could be convinced with a compassionistic clarity of rhetoric.

[Bill McBlueState]

85. Romans 1 is anti-gay

(Romans is in the New Testament.) There's been this idea going around that if only we chucked the Old Testament, Christianity would mesh perfectly with progressive morality. But there's plenty of immoral garbage in the writings of Paul.

Better to abandon ancient texts and instead seek equal rights for all.

[Midnight Rambler]

65. Wanna smoke a bowl?

n/t

[JVS]

66. Don't forget to say. I only have a little bit and I think 5000 might...

show up. Do you think you could help me out of this jam? ;-)

[philosophie_en_rose]

68. If you turned water into wine, why don't many alleged Christians drink?

:bounce:

[neebob]

69. How did you like being in the Bee Gees?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x936531#936579

[AngryAmish]

70. Have you ever seen Caddyshack?

[Heidi]

71. "Hi, Jesus. Could you take a few minutes to remind your more

conservative followers that you never said a _single word_ condemning homosexuals? Thank you, sir."

[dipsydoodle]

72. Can I have

fries to go and a large chocolate milkshake.

[Guava Jelly]

73. Where do you get off thinking you are the son of god

And virgin birth my Ass

[kid a]

74. Why don't you look like all the pictures:?

[kid a]

76. I'd like to know the alert count on this thread

[Deja Q]

78. Much like the DJ at the bar last night,

the alert count must be pretty high. :7

[Deja Q]

77. Why did you die for us? Were we worth it?

[kedrys]

79. A simple question

Couldn't you tell we'd fuck it up before you even got started??????

Been wondering about that one for a while.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

80. When you went to heaven...

...what was it like meeting the FSM?

[Left Is Write]

81. I would ask Him how some of his followers managed to so garble His

message.

("Lamb of God, you break the chains of hatred and fear, you are the way to justice and peace, you are the way to mercy and love...")

There are a lot of fundamental Christians who seem to need to learn a lot about eradicating hatred and finding justice, peace, mercy and love.

[texas1928]

82. So was your mom Mary really a MILF?

[pitohui]

84. what have you done for me lately?

obviously i would need to phrase it more tactfully but that is the jist

you see, getting yourself killed and saying it is for me 2,000 yrs ago is just not cutting it any more as a form of effective social action, showmanship is all well and good but at this time of millennium i need more

[Ivan Sputnik]

87. Do you think you're what they say you are?

Don't get me wrong. I only want to know.

And what parts of the NT are true and what parts are made up?

[REDKING]

88. Who am I?

[DS1]

89. It would have to do with checkout-line etiquette and helping those less

fortunate :-)

[jukes]

90. what's your

point?

[Neshanic]

91. "Do you mind your image on a ski boat tow?"

[rustydog]

92. "Jesus, why do you attract so many dicks?"