I am in love

[MissHoneychurch]

and I am scared. How is it that I am secure in my professional life but become so insecure when it comes to love?

[ZombieNixon]

1. I don't know. But I'm going to watch this thread.

Because I hope someone does know. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

3. It would be nice to know

but I am afraid it will stay a mystery.

Thanks for the hug.

[LaraMN]

2. Alot more to lose.

:-)

[MissHoneychurch]

4. True

it hurts more emotionally to lose love than a job.

[LaraMN]

9. I think a job is based more on what kind of a "professional" you are,

where as a relationship depends upon what kind of a person, as a whole, you are. A relationship can also be less predictable and more affected by subtleties. Under those circumstances, rejection, failure, or loss, probably tends to cut much deeper.

[SOteric]

5. It's the same for many of us.

:hug: Maybe because love makes us so much more intimately vulnerable than our careers.

I hope the best for you.

[ALago1]

6. It's rough being vulnerable

That's why love is a risk, but a great one to take at that. Everyone feels this way so don't worry you're not "weird" :)

[MissHoneychurch]

10. Sometimes it feels that way to me

I am 31 and still looking for my Mr.Right. I never had a relationship that was longer than a year. It starts to suck. I keep wondering if it is my fault.

[ALago1]

11. I can identify

Though I'm a little younger (24), most of my relationships predictably started to falter around the year mark. Most of them I can in retrospect identify something I did to make it go downhill. I could be unconsciously scared of being with one person for so long, or it could just be a matter of not finding the right person. I would like to think the latter. I really want to find that one right person.

Good luck with your new love. It's always great in the beginning so enjoy it :)

[MissHoneychurch]

16. Yes, the beginning is always great

and I always do my best to make a realtionship work. I know I make enough mistakes myself and I keep learning for new relationships. All I ask for is a man who loves me for who I am and takes me with all my faults. I hope this time this man is the right one. Not that I hope that with every relationship I started.

I wonder if the relationship of our parents is having an effect on our relationships as well. As for what we look, if we thinking we are able to keep a relationship alive etc.

[ALago1]

19. Interesting question

I never thought of our parent's relationships having potential influence on how we act in relationships.

I've always viewed my parent's relationship as very stable and committed, yet hopelessly comfortable and habitual. It could be that I am fearful of ending up in that sort of situation long term...

[MissHoneychurch]

21. My parents got separated when I was 15

the marriage wasn't happy. My mom is a very strong woman and my father wasn't strong enough to give her contra. There was always a a bad taste in the air so to speak. The mood was always slightly cold. I had a good childhood but by now I think that this slightly cold atmosphere is keeping me from forming a relationship. In my family of all my cousins are married (OK, I only have 3) and have kids. Except my brother and I. Keeps me thinking.

[reyd reid reed]

7. It happens

And I think it's a perfectly normal reaction. First the denial...build up that wall and protect yourself and your emotions and then, when you start to take it down a little bit at a time, you think, "No big deal, I'm fine. I can handle this. This is okay."

Then suddenly you realize that it's gone. The whole thing is down and you've left yourself wide open and vulnerable and...

You're scared.

:hug:

It'll be okay. It will. If you keep the wall up, you won't risk the pain but you won't feel the joy, either.

That said...I need to repair a chink or two

Who stole the mortar?

[MissHoneychurch]

12. I am not keeping up the wall

I let the guard down before and got hurt. With every new love it is harder for me not to let those old pains interfere. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I succeed less. But I don't let it hold me back from loving. Does that make sense?

[reyd reid reed]

13. It does

And I admire you for it. I tend to let the hurt interfere and I'm very reluctant to pull down the wall.

Your way takes more courage and, in the end, I think is ultimately going to make you happy...and make your guy very, very lucky.

[MissHoneychurch]

15. After I was let down really bad the last time

it took me about half a year to start dating again. And that guy was a let down as well. Only different was that I called it out. By now I know what I want and I am not into playing games anymore. Never was for that fact. Only now I am "wise" enough to see when a man is playing with my feelings.

[ET Awful]

8. I can relate, and I agree with LaraMN.

There's a hell of a lot more to lose (at least on a mental and emotional scale).

My problem is that past bad experiences make me very slow and reluctant to dive in (so to speak).

[MissHoneychurch]

14. I know what you mean

and that is what sucks most in my opinion. That we let bad experiences interfere with new experiences.

[ET Awful]

17. Of course, I could just quote Stephen Stills . . .

"Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now."

[MissHoneychurch]

18. At least you have two furbabies

to snuggle up with you when you feel lonely :)

[ET Awful]

20. Bah, if I snuggled them every time I felt lonely, they'd be stuck to me

with static permanently :P

[MissHoneychurch]

22. Aww come on

it can't be THAT bad :hug:

[ET Awful]

23. Actually . . . yes, it can

:P

Ah well, I'm working on it (no details will be provided at this time).