My roommate's douchebag goon of a boyfriend just arrived. Ask me anything!

[deadparrot]

:hi:

[ZombieNixon]

1. My suitemate just finished smoking up the bathroom.

If you hurry you might make it before it dissipates! :evilgrin:

[deadparrot]

2. Yay!

:bounce:

No, seriously; he's been here like 10 minutes. He's already talking like Chris from Family Guy.

:banghead:

Dumb. fucking. idiot.

[ZombieNixon]

4. Is that how he usually talks?

Because I can do an awesome Chris (and Peter and Stewie), but I don't normally talk like that. :shrug:

[deadparrot]

7. Whenever he's speaking to my roommate, yes.

Since he never leaves the room, that's pretty much all I hear. But I have heard him speak on the phone, so I know he does have semi-normal, non-Chris voice. :shrug:

[JVS]

3. What have you got against this guy?

[deadparrot]

5. Well...

He comes up for about four days at a time every two weeks (we're four hours from home). Plus, we just got back from Easter break. He just saw her yesterday.
He's cheated on her several times, and posted about it on a public online diary (I get to sit through the fun screaming matches).
He doesn't bathe.
He farts, which he thinks is hysterical.
He speaks like a five year old. The voice he uses sounds exactly Chris from Family Guy (and I know it's not his real voice, because I've heard him speak on the phone before).
He'll turn off the televison when there's a movie on that I'm obviously watching.
He only leaves the room to eat. Other than that, he's always here.
He leaves clothes on the rung of my ladder (I'm on the top bunk). I've already twisted my ankle once this year after slipping and falling at 7AM.

:banghead:

[JVS]

8. So what's this guy's secret? How does he keep her coming back for more?

[deadparrot]

9. If I knew, I'd tell you.

Because I can hardly keep my food down when he's here. Low self-esteem is the only thing I can think of. :shrug:

[JVS]

10. Where do ladies who put up with this hang out?

I could pull that act!

[deadparrot]

11. She's the only one I know who does.

:)

Everyone else on my floor comes up, apologizes, and offers me their room whenever he's here. :shrug:

[HEyHEY]

12. Would they offer me a room if I was there?

[deadparrot]

17. It's certainly possible.

:D

[HEyHEY]

18. Sweet, get one for JVS too

[deadparrot]

19. .

:thumbsup:

[HEyHEY]

6. He doesn't love her

[catbert836]

13. It can't be as bad as

being a teenager and having your parents divorce, your dad awarded custody of you, then proceeding to move his girlfriend in without asking you, and several months later her son as well. Oh, and her annoying girlfriend's annoying 7 year old son comes here on weekends.
Can it?

Sorry, you're just the latest target of my cries for sympathy. ;)

[JVS]

14. Is your mom dating?

That would definitley be the icing on the shit-cake

[catbert836]

15. No, thankfully.

She's decided not to put me through that.

Oh, BTW, my dad didn't even TELL me before she moved in. :banghead:

[deadparrot]

16. That's pretty awful.

Luckily, I get rid of this douchebag in a month.

Best of luck. :hi: